I know it's just the start of things but it literally broke my heart to see him so upset.
He plays with next doors children and always asks first if he can go over, they always say yes and he has the best time with them but today when he shouted over they said no. His little face was so heartbroken. He kept saying 'they said no mummy, they said no'
I've explained that sometimes they are busy and can't always play when he wants to (they are older boys) but I'd like to explain it in the best way possible. God rejection isn't nice but I know he's going to face it much worse as he gets older.
How would you explain jt?
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My 3 year old got rejected today
helpim · 25/07/2022 16:23
helpim · 25/07/2022 16:26
Makes me scared of what's to come. I feel his pain tenfold 😫
Mollymoostoo · 26/07/2022 19:09
Validate his experience with a uug and tell him 'it makes me sad when I can't have what I want, and it's okay to feel sad. We can't always do what we want, sometimes we have to wait for another time'.
If we don't acknowledge that feeling disappointed is normal and okay, children learn to not allow themselves to feel and heal.
helpim · 25/07/2022 16:26
Makes me scared of what's to come. I feel his pain tenfold 😫
Hmm1234 · 26/07/2022 18:47
I would think the parents in that household can’t be very nice. 3 year olds have not long learnt how to speak and nursery certainly wouldn’t teach them to push their peers away
mamusya · 26/07/2022 20:44
Crikey. Poor OP! It's perfectly natural to feel the pain of a toddler's rejection, especially if you might be sensitive to rejection yourself as a mother/child/partner. I know I was. She asked for help and put her head above the parapet and has been shot down by so many of us. No wonder she's not responding. This is a help and support forum not a shame and blame one.
C152 · 26/07/2022 19:32
I wrapped it into teaching my DS how to play with other children. When he was 2-3, he used to just stand near other kids he wanted to play with, but not ask if he could join in. So I explained people wouldn't know what he wanted if he didn't say it out loud. I told him to say hello, introduce himself and ask if he could play with them. If they said yes, great, join in. I also told him, if they say no, just say, 'ok, maybe next time' and find someone else to play with or something to do on your own (like go on the swing, for example). It worked for him.
I think managing expectations by explaining both potential outcomes and giving them 1-2 short sentences to say in response to those outcomes is most helpful for that age group. If they don't know what to say/do in response, it seems to upset/embarrass them even more than being told 'no', they can't join in.
There's no need to worry about what's to come for your child. They need to learn that people will say no sometimes and it's helpful for them to know what to do/say when that happens.
pompei8309 · 26/07/2022 19:08
Why you’re scared? rejection it’s a normal part of life , teach him how to deal with it and relax , nobody died , no need to exaggerate like this
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madasawethen · 26/07/2022 21:40
This is a great response.
OP it's up to you and your DH to teach your DS social skills, how to handle disappointment, negative emotions, etc.
Parents who don't do these things do their children no favours.
Boys especially need to learn boundaries, empathy and respect for others, dealing with emotions.
C152 · 26/07/2022 19:32
I wrapped it into teaching my DS how to play with other children. When he was 2-3, he used to just stand near other kids he wanted to play with, but not ask if he could join in. So I explained people wouldn't know what he wanted if he didn't say it out loud. I told him to say hello, introduce himself and ask if he could play with them. If they said yes, great, join in. I also told him, if they say no, just say, 'ok, maybe next time' and find someone else to play with or something to do on your own (like go on the swing, for example). It worked for him.
I think managing expectations by explaining both potential outcomes and giving them 1-2 short sentences to say in response to those outcomes is most helpful for that age group. If they don't know what to say/do in response, it seems to upset/embarrass them even more than being told 'no', they can't join in.
There's no need to worry about what's to come for your child. They need to learn that people will say no sometimes and it's helpful for them to know what to do/say when that happens.
helpim · 25/07/2022 16:26
Makes me scared of what's to come. I feel his pain tenfold 😫
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