Would you be happy with my life?

[ChinBristles]

I'm nearly 40. Female.

Had a few relationships but single. Never married.

Never had children, never really thought it was the right thing for me.

I used to work a lot of hours in a job I hated but recently took a step back/sideways. I enjoy my job now and it's just 9-5. WFH.

I have had issues with my weight/alcohol but they're under control now.

I have a cat. Am close with my parents/extended family. A few friends.

I'm relatively comfortable financially and no health worries. I live in a small city so plenty on my doorstep.

I go to church and do some voluntary work. I mostly watch Netflix otherwise!

Would you be happy with this? Or think there was something glaring missing? Interested to see responses before I tell you how I'm feeling. I know all that matters is whether I'm happy or not...not what others thing, but I'm interested...

Thanks!

It's so hard to say because it really does depend on the individual. What looks like happiness and success to one person could look totally different to another.

Personally I always knew I wanted a family and kids of my own so that aspect of your life wouldn't appeal to me. However I have never really been totally financially independent/comfortable or pursued a career and that sort of thing is hugely important to some people.

Are you happy with your life?

Do you do any exercise ?

I think your life sounds rather nice. You don’t have health issues, you enjoy your job, you don’t have any financial issues and have close family and friends. It sounds good to me! I’m curious as to whether you feel you are missing out on anything, or if you are content.. I hope you are happy.

I assume I’ll always find fulfilment in either work or family - the balance always tipping, but ideally with both there.

so I personally can’t see your future as mine. But you have things I don’t (eg Church), so I can’t make a comparison.

My favourite guru Steven covey said what mattered was to “ live( earn and experience life) love( people, animals, places, hobbies, etc) learn( keep learning new things, curiosity) and leave a legacy- relationships, making a difference etc.
I find this helpful.
I wonder why you ask?

Do you feel fulfilled? Your lifestyle sounds rather dutiful to me. Is the voluntary work satisfying?
There seems to be a lack of exercise and relationships outside of work.

As you said, all that matters is you're happy. I'd love to be financially independent like you, but on the other hand I have a hobby that I love that would leave a glaring gap if I didn't have it.

Erm no not really, but I'm me and you are you.

I always wanted to have children so no, personally I wouldn't be happy with your life. Apart from that though it sounds good.

Sounds nice tbh, I love my DH and DD very much but think I could have been equally happy with your life. Good health, social connections, happy with job, sounds like a good life.

I'd say you have a lot to be grateful for. And, if you aren't happy, the health and wealth to change things.

I think I would find that quite a lonely life, mainly due to the WFH.

Thanks guys. I should also say I had a good childhood, I went to uni as I wanted and I have visited a couple of interesting countries.

I'll let others have their say and then I'll tell you why I ask.

Sounds bliss. But then im a single parent to 2 boys 1 of whom is disabled so ive currently had to give up work and get very very little time to myself.

Nobody can say whether they'd be happy with your life or not because nobody else knows what your life is like. You can describe the material aspects of it, but it means nothing.

What you have and what you do has nothing to do with it. What matters is how you feel about it. And other peoples' judgment on that has no bearing whatsoever.

No I wouldn't be happy with your life. I love being in a partnership with DH and I always wanted DC and love them dearly. I've got a hardcore job but I like the excitement and pressure and I live in London which really makes me happy.

But would you be happy with my life? Probably not.

I think if I had your life I'd be bored to be honest. Because mine is similar except I do have a DH who's my best friend. I also have more hobbies (such as playing guitar and walking my dog) and more frequent travel, and I'm still bored.

The components sound fine, so I could imagine being happy in your life, but I could also imagine being unhappy.

I have seen people who 'have it all' but are really sad, and people who seem to have been dealt a tough hand enjoying their time, so I can't judge without seeing the inside of your head.

Also if you are anything like me, you could be despondent on Monday and joyful on Tuesday!

only you can say if you are happy.

I knew I wanted a child (or children). But only you know what will make you happy.

Would it be what I wanted? No. I wanted kids.

But if you never really thought about it, it seems like a good life. It depends if you're happy being single, which you absolutely can be and equally might absolutely not be.

If I was 40, happy in my work, doing some volunteer bits and interests on the side, I think I'd travel more than it sounds like you have. That's all.

I certainly wouldn't think, if you were my friend, gosh poor Chin.

No, because my life is vastly different.

But if you're content and fulfilled - that's pretty much all that matters.

I would not be happy with your life for one reason and that's the lack of children, but then again, you say you've felt children were the right thing for you. So if I'm genuinely putting myself in your shoes, then your life looks great! No money worries, friends, a job you like, good health - what else do you need?

weren't the right thing for you

Ooh I like this approach!

I am envious as it sounds like you can have peace and quiet when you like/for sustained periods which I would love but I think if I did have your life I would miss some of the interaction of family homelife. I think the grass can look greener because there are pros and cons of each.