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Original poster

Friends invited people we dislike on our holiday

230 replies

EmergencyMarmaladeSandwiches · 05/06/2022 08:19

We are going on a group holiday, four couples. All good friends. We booked a villa to share in Italy for a long weekend.

When deciding who should come, Couple A suggested we invite X. Two of the already invited couples said no way, we don’t get along with X.

We really really dislike X. They are genuinely one of the most unpleasant and scheming people we have ever met. For some reason Couple A are friendly with X, but no one else is. We have been adults and just not invited X to our own dinner parties etc.

After booking flights, hotels etc it seems Couple A have invited couple X to stay in the same city as us as when we are there. There is no room in our villa, but they would obviously expect to come along to dinner or trips planned.

We are absolutely furious. We really really do not want to spend any time with X, let alone our holiday!

Now I know it’s a free world etc, and we can’t bar someone from visiting the same time that we are there. But it now means I will be stressed all holiday, as X has a dislike for me. Couple A will clearly have told X that we didn’t want them there, and so it will be awkward.

What would you do? Cancel the trip? Find our own hotel? Remove Couple A from the villa?

OP posts:

Youaremysunshine14 · 05/06/2022 08:22

Tell Couple A they were out of order for going against the explicit wishes of the rest of the group and none of you will be hanging out or dining with Couple X for the duration of the trip, so it's probably a good idea if they stay at the same place as them if they want to see them. I'd be furious with Couple A – what was their justification for ignoring you all?

LisaSimpson77 · 05/06/2022 08:30

Can you remove couple A from the villa? Or cancel it and find somewhere without them? Not sure how feasible it is at this point but I'm not sure how comfortable you'll feel going away with them now you know that they've completely ignored you over x.

If you do all stay together you'll have to be very clear that you'll make your own plans rather than do things with x then just try to be elsewhere when they make arrangements together. That'll be tricky though.

Does couple A want you all to get to know X because they think you'll like them if you know them better?

Mindymomo · 05/06/2022 08:31

Couple A can go and have dinner with X. No way should couple A be invited to your villa if 2 out of 4 couples don’t want them there. Who would want to be somewhere they are not welcome. Also why did couple A invite them, when they know the situation, they perhaps should book their own weekend away another time with x.

toomuchlaundry · 05/06/2022 08:34

Have you discussed this with the other couple who don’t like X?

RampantIvy · 05/06/2022 08:39

I would have thought it would be easy to avoid the couple that no-one likes. Surely, even on group holidays you don't all spend 24/7 with each other?
You and the other two couples who don't like the fifth couple can make your own arrangements, and the couple who invited the unlikeable couple can spend time meeting them without the rest of you.

You just need to let them know that you won't be meeting the other couple while you are away, and that they aren't welcome at the villa.

StressedMumm1e · 05/06/2022 08:41

Why did they do this? Did couple x book flights and accommodation and then tell couple A? I would be inclined to cancel and go somewhere else.

daretodenim · 05/06/2022 08:41

What do the third and fourth couples think?

I'd be ready to:
a) ask couple A to stay with couple X. This could be tricky but there's also no easy way out. Or
b) tell couple A that you will not be joining them and X and plan things without them - and without telling them what/where/when! Because if they went as far as inviting X then they'll think nothing of joining you for dinner with X when you think you've made it clear you don't want X joining.

daretodenim · 05/06/2022 08:43

And yes, the best option is to cancel and go elsewhere (without telling A where), but that's depends on your booking.

Eddielizzard · 05/06/2022 08:44

I'm assuming the other 2 couples do like the X's? In which case friends A have got mixed messages and perhaps to them this is a good solution to keeping everyone happy.

Overthebow · 05/06/2022 08:46

Make it clear that you will not be spending time with X, and they will not be invited to dinner or to your villa.

RampantIvy · 05/06/2022 08:46

Eddielizzard · 05/06/2022 08:44

I'm assuming the other 2 couples do like the X's? In which case friends A have got mixed messages and perhaps to them this is a good solution to keeping everyone happy.

Two of the already invited couples said no way, we don’t get along with X.

I don't think they do.

Ilikewinter · 05/06/2022 08:47

I read the OP as 2 couples already said no as they dont like them.... and if you say they same then all 3 couples have said no.
In which case you all stick together and refuse to have them over.

Eddielizzard · 05/06/2022 08:49

Ah yes, I stand corrected.

SueDeNeem · 05/06/2022 08:51

So 3 out of the 4 couples do not like the 5th couple. I would be goin out with the other 2 couples and leave couple 4 to go out with the 5th couple. And make it clear why.

RampantIvy · 05/06/2022 08:53

SueDeNeem · 05/06/2022 08:51

So 3 out of the 4 couples do not like the 5th couple. I would be goin out with the other 2 couples and leave couple 4 to go out with the 5th couple. And make it clear why.

I think you made that clearer than I did

MargosKaftan · 05/06/2022 08:56

You need to ask couple A why they have invited x when they knew you didn't want them to join the holiday. Is it that couple A want an excuse not to spend much time with the rest of you?

If couple A are regretting their decision to go away with the other 3 couples, could the other 3 couples cover their share of the villa so couple A can go have a holiday with X instead.

If they try to do a "but x isn't that bad!" You'll have to be clear that you don't want to spend any time with x at all and thought you had been clear.

Sorry, this could be about to end your friendship with couple A.

Eddielizzard · 05/06/2022 08:58

Find out why the A's invited the X's, and then make your decision. But what happens now, and how this is handled may mean the end of the friendship.

custardbear · 05/06/2022 09:02

So all the other couples don't like X couple, ask them why they've invited them essentially on holiday with you

TidyDancer · 05/06/2022 09:08

So couple A have actually been told that couple X are not welcome and still invited them? That's really bad. Unless they thought they just weren't welcome in the villa (this is still bad imo but maybe forgivable if the situation can be rectified).

A serious conversation needs to be had here. Has money been paid yet? If they're not willing to sort this, I'd be looking to pull out personally.

Badger1970 · 05/06/2022 09:08

Honestly, I'd cancel.

The likelihood is that they're be there for the duration of the holiday apart from overnight. Especially as it's only for a long weekend.

It won't be a break if you're clenching your teeth the whole time.

KosherDill · 05/06/2022 09:10

I'd ask the As to stay elsewhere.

dudsville · 05/06/2022 09:12

Wwid, honestly i wouldn't go. I'd take the hit financially, and I'd not make plans with couple A again. Perhaps you and the others who also dislike couple X could rebook and keep plans on the down low so this odd couple A don't somehow find you. But i definitely wouldn't go.

MagicTurtle · 05/06/2022 09:16

I wouldn't cancel as it sounds like couple A are in the minority here. I'd carry on as planned but make sure couple A knows that you (and the other couples, if they agree) have no intention of meeting up with X at any point.

pictish · 05/06/2022 09:18

Why on earth would X want to go on holiday with a group of people, half of whom don’t want them there?
Why would couple A invite X along knowing there is contention between them and you?

If my friends invited someone whom they know doesn’t like me, along to a pre-arranged holiday, I’d be angry and hurt. They wouldn’t rank high on my friends list after that.

Think you should speak to the other couple about this.

Intrigueddotcom · 05/06/2022 09:20

Quite frankly I am perplexed that you are friends with couple a

Thoughtless, rude, and deceitful

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