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Original poster

Friends invited people we dislike on our holiday

230 replies

EmergencyMarmaladeSandwiches · 05/06/2022 08:19

We are going on a group holiday, four couples. All good friends. We booked a villa to share in Italy for a long weekend.

When deciding who should come, Couple A suggested we invite X. Two of the already invited couples said no way, we don’t get along with X.

We really really dislike X. They are genuinely one of the most unpleasant and scheming people we have ever met. For some reason Couple A are friendly with X, but no one else is. We have been adults and just not invited X to our own dinner parties etc.

After booking flights, hotels etc it seems Couple A have invited couple X to stay in the same city as us as when we are there. There is no room in our villa, but they would obviously expect to come along to dinner or trips planned.

We are absolutely furious. We really really do not want to spend any time with X, let alone our holiday!

Now I know it’s a free world etc, and we can’t bar someone from visiting the same time that we are there. But it now means I will be stressed all holiday, as X has a dislike for me. Couple A will clearly have told X that we didn’t want them there, and so it will be awkward.

What would you do? Cancel the trip? Find our own hotel? Remove Couple A from the villa?

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 05/06/2022 15:00

They told couple A not to invite them and look how that turned out

How has it turned out? The other couple will gasp be in the same city. Easily avoided if the OP doesn’t want to socialise with them.

Delatron · 05/06/2022 15:04

You can guarantee that couple X will turn up many times on your holiday. They’ll happen to be in the same bar (Couple A will tell them). Then they’ll ask where you’re going for dinner and can they join you. And in real life it’s going to be hard to say ‘you can’t come to that restaurant’.

Then they’ll turn up to the villa. What will you say? Please leave? It will all be so awkward. It’s Couple As fault completely but don’t think this won’t happen. They will assume after a few drinks you can all be friends, won’t want to cause a scene etc.

We had a similar ( not exactly the same) situation. We always went to the same resort with one couple and their kids. One year we decided to go with another couple. Old couple just turned up and booked accommodation nearby and kept popping up in the bars and trying to come out to dinner with us. It turned very awkward.

As much as you don’t want to cancel and it’s annoying if you can get your money back and all (apart from A) book something else that may be for the best.

Unfortunately it’s a free world and couple A will tell them exactly where you will be at all times.

AllFreeOwls · 05/06/2022 15:04

RachelGreep87 · 05/06/2022 14:30

Very discriminatory towards single people.
Not everyone is in a couple!

Eh? Where did you get this from? OP clearly outlines why she doesn't like X, no mention of it being because X is not part of a couple.

Extrapolating much?

famagusta · 05/06/2022 15:05

@RachelGreep87

can you elaborate?!

Bearsan · 05/06/2022 15:08

Very bad overstepping the boundaries of friends by A. I think holidays with a group of friends can be like a Molotov cocktail as it Is but this has big potential to go horribly wrong. I struggle to see how, however it is handled, that any of you will continue to be friends with A. Even if you say you don't want to meet up with X they have already ignored the rest you. I would cancel and go with the others personally and let A and X sort themselves out.

flipper97 · 05/06/2022 15:22

Bin it off.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 05/06/2022 15:32

Do A know how much you don’t like X?

Wor · 05/06/2022 15:38

If you can cancel without losing any money, I’d do that. Rebook a different holiday without Couple A or X, and don’t tell them about it until it’s over.

Couple A have been deceitful and disrespectful to the rest if you, I’d ditch them permanently, unless they accept that they did wrong and apologise.

If you can’t cancel the villa without losing miney then see if someone esle can swap with Couple A, or if not then I’d suggest you talk to Couple A very very clearly saying “We hate X. We really, really hate them. We do not want to know them, or talk to them, ever. We said that X are not welcome on this holiday, but you invited them to the area anyway. We’re all pretty upset about that and want to be clear that X is not allowed to come to our villa and also you may not tell X where it is.”

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/06/2022 15:44

I wonder if X just took it upon themselves to book accommodation close by. I think it best to establish this first before blaming A.

LakieLady · 05/06/2022 15:50

WakeUpandSmelltheKetchup · 05/06/2022 11:05

I’d be a bit careful OP. Sometimes in groups people are happy to join in with a bitching session if they know you really don’t get on with someone but in reality they are totally fine with the bitched about person.

You might find that you end up self excluding yourself from your own holiday and X gets to be with your friends…

This.

I'd see how couples B & C feel and what they are minded to do about it before you make any decisions, OP. If they're prepared to stand firm and not have anything to do with couple X, then the majority swings it and the X'es shouldn't be coming to the villa or on trips the rest of you may be taking.

If they're prepared to suck it up because they've actually been a bit two-faced, then I'd cancel and go somewhere completely different.

The As are bang out of order though.

Salchipapas · 05/06/2022 15:58

I have previously been on holiday in a group with a particular friend who showed his true colours on holiday but seemed fine previously. Unfortunately he became unsufferable and ruined the holiday for everyone exhibiting behaviours such as being rude to waiting staff, starting arguments at dinner and cheating on his girlfriend who was back home and expecting the rest of the group to cover for him. At the end of the holiday all 3 of the rest of us left feeling stressed and livid, wishing we had never gone. Holidays are a rare special time and unfortunately you have no control over who your friend invites especially if couple A are staying in your villa and have already paid. It all sounds far too dramatic and it will be hard to exclude couple A from your plans if you are all staying together without causing drama. Make a united front and explain to couple A frankly that you will all be cancelling the holiday and the reasons for this if X is included. If X still remains invited, I would take the financial hit and book elsewhere.

Delatron · 05/06/2022 16:05

I thought X were a couple. If it’s just one person (without being discriminatory against single people) won’t you find more difficult to avoid?
It will be hard for a group of 6/8 people to say no we won’t meet this person who is on holiday on their own.

The whole thing is a disaster and I’d be furious with couple A.

godmum56 · 05/06/2022 16:22

Delatron · 05/06/2022 16:05

I thought X were a couple. If it’s just one person (without being discriminatory against single people) won’t you find more difficult to avoid?
It will be hard for a group of 6/8 people to say no we won’t meet this person who is on holiday on their own.

The whole thing is a disaster and I’d be furious with couple A.

why? If you don't like them then why is it difficult?

godmum56 · 05/06/2022 16:24

AllFreeOwls · 05/06/2022 15:04

Eh? Where did you get this from? OP clearly outlines why she doesn't like X, no mention of it being because X is not part of a couple.

Extrapolating much?

Show quote history

OP clearly says that X IS A COUPLE

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 05/06/2022 16:30

OP clearly says that X IS A COUPLE

No- I initially thought that too but having re-read I think X is one person. The OP used the pronoun "they" to avoid saying whether they're male or female and that's what confused everyone.

jazzybelle · 05/06/2022 16:47

As long as they are not staying with you, there's no reason for you to meet up.

Andylion · 05/06/2022 16:49

But the title of the post says “Friends invited people we dislike on our holiday”. I think it is a couple but only one of them, X, is disliked.

RuthsAndEsthersSpindles · 05/06/2022 16:51

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 05/06/2022 16:30

OP clearly says that X IS A COUPLE

No- I initially thought that too but having re-read I think X is one person. The OP used the pronoun "they" to avoid saying whether they're male or female and that's what confused everyone.

After booking flights, hotels etc it seems Couple A have invited couple X to stay in the same city as us as when we are there. There is no room in our villa, but they would obviously expect to come along to dinner or trips planned.

Says 'couple X' (my underline)

Of course, we may never know ...

AllFreeOwls · 05/06/2022 17:06

godmum56 · 05/06/2022 16:24

OP clearly says that X IS A COUPLE

Show quote history

But the OP also says We really really dislike X. They are genuinely one of the most unpleasant and scheming people we have ever met which implied it is one person... so maybe not as clear as you think (shout).

AllFreeOwls · 05/06/2022 17:08

Maybe X are two people, maybe it's one person, the OP can be read both ways. Hopefully the OP will be back to clear this up!

RuthsAndEsthersSpindles · 05/06/2022 17:11

Well unless the OP ever comes back it's pointless speculating now.

It does seem weird though to specify 'couple X' and then bang on about the mysterious 'X' as though it's a single person. Maybe it's the chief arsehole of the couple that OP can't stand? ('She/he's not so bad but he/she's a massive prick', that kind of thing.)

RuthsAndEsthersSpindles · 05/06/2022 17:12

I've amused myself there, telling myself off for speculating, and then wildly speculating ^^ Grin

Watapalava · 05/06/2022 17:18

It’s defo couple with one of the couple being x

if one person the title would say person and not people - both words suit pronouns but one is singular

ventreàterre · 05/06/2022 17:37

I'd discuss it with the other two couples and go from there. I wouldn't agree to see X, on principle as much as anything else. Whether that means booting A from the villa, finding another place to stay, cancelling the trip entirely, etc., I'd do what worked best for me (maybe taking the other two couples into consideration, if my choice would affect them).

And for the future, that would be it for Couple A. I'd probably stop seeing them much, if at all, and definitely wouldn't include them in group holidays or the like. They knew what they were doing, but for some reason feel more loyalty to X than to anyone in the original group.

SiobhanSharpe · 05/06/2022 17:44

KettrickenSmiled · 05/06/2022 14:41

Easily.
How would you stop someone you didn't want to see entering your home?

Couple A get told that they have fucked up, that nobody else wants to see X, & that X is not to set foot in the villa.

If the A's, or X, choose to CF that & X turns up, there are 6 people who are surely able to say "what are you doing here - you are not welcome - get out."

Show quote history

And highly unpleasant scene ensues. The X's say couple A invited them, refuse to go (because they are arseholes after all), couple A then feels aggrieved, weighs in saying it's their holiday too, why shouldn't they be able to invite someone back to the villa?
Holiday is tainted by arguments and bad feeling.
Worst case -- it gets physical.
Nip it in the bud before it's too late.