Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friends invited people we dislike on our holiday

230 replies

EmergencyMarmaladeSandwiches · 05/06/2022 08:19

We are going on a group holiday, four couples. All good friends. We booked a villa to share in Italy for a long weekend.

When deciding who should come, Couple A suggested we invite X. Two of the already invited couples said no way, we don’t get along with X.

We really really dislike X. They are genuinely one of the most unpleasant and scheming people we have ever met. For some reason Couple A are friendly with X, but no one else is. We have been adults and just not invited X to our own dinner parties etc.

After booking flights, hotels etc it seems Couple A have invited couple X to stay in the same city as us as when we are there. There is no room in our villa, but they would obviously expect to come along to dinner or trips planned.

We are absolutely furious. We really really do not want to spend any time with X, let alone our holiday!

Now I know it’s a free world etc, and we can’t bar someone from visiting the same time that we are there. But it now means I will be stressed all holiday, as X has a dislike for me. Couple A will clearly have told X that we didn’t want them there, and so it will be awkward.

What would you do? Cancel the trip? Find our own hotel? Remove Couple A from the villa?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 05/06/2022 09:22

Do you think X is the one who schemed it so they came along, manipulated couple A?

You and the other couples should stand firm and book stuff that does not include the Xs.

Bollindger · 05/06/2022 09:23

Tell couple A, that this is their holiday as well, but couple X are not allowed at the villa, that you do not want them on trips or at meals, but since Couple X mean so much to couple A you hope they enjoy their days with them.
Also check how the others feel.

MoreShit123 · 05/06/2022 09:34

I would pull out, take the hit financially and end my friendship with A

Beautiful3 · 05/06/2022 09:36

Tell couple A to hang out with them. You hang out with the rest of the group.

PriestessofPing · 05/06/2022 09:40

I think that yes you say X is not invited to the villa or on days out. Tell couple A if they want to spend time with X then crack on but you are not going to do that - and stick to it!

Only other option would be to uninvite couple A.

SpindleForTheWorld · 05/06/2022 09:42

Who wants a stressful holiday? Fuck that.

Assuming this is the full story, I'd pull out and do something else. Tell the other couples, and they might join you. 'A' sounds like a right shit-stirring fuckwit, best avoided from now on.

itsgettingweird · 05/06/2022 09:53

The 3 couples who explicitly said they didn't want couple X there refuse to meet with X.

Couple A can please themselves.

The rest of you do the same.

Lalliella · 05/06/2022 10:08

Fuck that, life’s too short to spend with people you don’t like. Tell A they need to choose a holiday with B, C and you, or with X, because no-one else wants to spend time with X.

Or cancel the whole thing and rebook with B and C.

Lalliella · 05/06/2022 10:09

Oh and tell them in no uncertain terms that X are not to come to the villa. Omg even writing this makes me cringe as to how awkward this situation is.

MsTSwift · 05/06/2022 10:17

Why do adults not realise the golden rule you never invite anyone on holiday without the enthusiastic support of every other member of the group. See also the Dh who asked his mother along on a family holiday

Onwards22 · 05/06/2022 10:27

I would call them out asking why they’ve invited them as none of you wanted them to come.

And that they knew that so they will have to spend their time with couple X and you and the other couples will spend time without them.

I would say they have the opportunity to stay elsewhere but if they’ve paid I doubt they will.

I think they told couple X before you all said no and so they made an excuse and said there’s not enough room - thinking they’ll not come but instead they booked somewhere else.

Couple X must be pretty bad so why not just be more honest and make it known to them that none of you want to associate with them.

Gymnopedie · 05/06/2022 10:29

Fortunately it's not just you, OP. No-one else except couple A want X there. So the three couples who don't like it stick together, it's not a problem. Leave A and X to it. Do things with the others, refuse to go to anything with X, if A turn up with X walk away.

Will the other couples be strong minded enough to do that, or will they hate it but not be willing to make a stand to 'keep the peace'?

Needanotherholidayasap · 05/06/2022 10:29

You and the other couples pull out. Leave the villa for A and X.

Janedoe82 · 05/06/2022 10:35

What exactly is the issue with couple x?? They can’t be that bad. Unless they have actually done something on you I would just go with the flow and not behave like you are 14

Intrigueddotcom · 05/06/2022 10:38

Janedoe82 · 05/06/2022 10:35

What exactly is the issue with couple x?? They can’t be that bad. Unless they have actually done something on you I would just go with the flow and not behave like you are 14

We won’t get the full picture because it is unlikely that the situation is black and white

MichelleScarn · 05/06/2022 10:40

Janedoe82 · 05/06/2022 10:35

What exactly is the issue with couple x?? They can’t be that bad. Unless they have actually done something on you I would just go with the flow and not behave like you are 14

So someone does something they know you will not like,have expressly asked them not to do, but they do anyway, but it's be a pushover and accept and 'go with the flow'?

Swayingpalmtrees · 05/06/2022 10:42

You need to be adult about it op.

Tell couple A whilst you understand they will be meeting up with couple X whilst on holiday, you will not be joining them and they are not invited to dinner at the villa. I would get some guarantees around the boundaries, yes it is fine for them to meet in the city etc but not where you are staying, and you won't be joining them for any meet ups - as you have already stated.

You risk blowing up the holiday and the group if you pull out etc. So I wouldn't do that, actually.

I suspect couple A are in a difficult position and are friends with both sets, and have found it hard to manage the bad feeling.

Did couple X belong to the group once and were pushed out?

Figgygal · 05/06/2022 10:44

Either you and other X haters pull out or you tell couple A theyre out and can holiday with couple x instead

zafferana · 05/06/2022 10:47

I wouldn't go, if I could cancel and get my money back. No way would I allow Couple A and this mysterious and unpleasant X to ruin my holiday. Fuck that! Holidays are supposed to be fun, relaxing and enjoyable. Having someone I couldn't stand, and who can't stand me, along for the trip? No way.

What do the others who don't like X either say?

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/06/2022 10:47

So you and other 2 couples so 6/8 of the people in villa don’t like couple x

why on Earth did couple a invite them

whats wrong with Couple x @EmergencyMarmaladeSandwiches

Eightiesfan · 05/06/2022 10:47

To be fair couple A might not have directly invited them, it may be that when they mentioned it they invited themselves and might have felt awkward to tell them no…or both couples are just CF.

ElenaSt · 05/06/2022 10:50

Your holiday time is your own and should not be spent in the company of people you dislike.

Tell A that you are annoyed this other (hated) couple are in the same area and that you do not want to see them in any shape or form. Hopefully the others that don't like them will agree and back you up.

Sceptre86 · 05/06/2022 10:54

I'd cancel and I'd also recognise that this is likely the end of your friendship with A. A shouldn't have invited x when all the other couples said no. It puts everyone in an awkward position if even one of the other couples concedes X coming with you to excursions. Either way it isn't going to be the trip you planned so if you can cancel and arrange a holiday elsewhere I would.

YetAnotherNameChange111 · 05/06/2022 10:54

They are genuinely one of the most unpleasant and scheming people we have ever met. For some reason Couple A are friendly with X

er.... maybe because with their behaviour couple A have shown that they are scheming too??

TheCatterall · 05/06/2022 10:56

Arrange things without couple A. So X won’t be included.

no need to ruin your holiday with X or be worrying that if you do something with couple A that X will turn up.

id be having a word with couple A before the holiday as well to make sure they understand this. Ask them what plans they have made for days out now they have taken on X as a holiday partner. Then act surprised if they have the intention of including X with the rest of you and just say - we have already expressed that we don’t want to do that as we all struggle with X and is the reason we didn’t (as a group) want to invite them therefore we figured you would be doing things on your own with X.

worst case scenario couple A fall out with you all. But honestly if they invited X along knowing how you feel then they aren’t good friends anyway.

Swipe left for the next trending thread