I shouldn't admit this... but I wish I had a rich husband!

[Dreamofriches]

Im exhausted about worrying about money 24/7. Exhausted feeling I have no time. Wondering if it will ever get better, and how! Exhausted of pretending to everyone there isn't serious money worries.

I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations because their husbands have become very successful. What a dream! Even just one year of living like this would be bliss.

I know how anti-feminist this is, I know its up to me to be my own rich husband but its hard when you need also have other responsibilities.
I just want to dream a bit of a life where we are having conversations about which country to visit, not how we have to cut back even more.

Im not sure the point of this post, I just want to vent and can't admit this in real life as I know how awful I sound.

I live in a wealthy area filled with women who have rich husbands. They do yoga and volunteering work. And keel in shock when the rich husbands out of the blue demand a divorce because they are shipping in a new model. I know kids who've been pulled out of their private schools because daddy decided they weren't as worth funding as his new car/girlfriend. I know several women who have been broken by the experience
Less wealthy men do this too.

My husband was rich pre pandemic, then one week in March 2020 our whole world came crashing down.

I think your wish is misguided but understandable. Prior to success I was also ground down, working a job I hated and, being part time, doing majority of life chores. Being richer via my husband didn't reduce the stress much, the problem is very much with me. I did quit my job but I was fed up and even more depressed with nothing but housework to do!

Post pandemic I'm back at same job in a different place, I'll admit My job still isn't amazing but it's very low risk and has paid our mortgage for the last 2 years. I'm grateful for the opportunity to survive right now.

For the next few years my goal is to maintain a level of income that allows my husband to not be so stressed about earning enough that he is ready to end it all.

The pandemic has been a revelation. Rich husbands also have to work hard. It's not all sunshine and roses.

I'm not in anyway saying that it's not easier to be rich, of course it is. But me returning to work has allowed my husband the respite he needed to work his way out of having nothing at all and although we're still only bringing home half of what we did we are going to get there because we both gave it our all.

I still plan to leave my job in a couple of years but I don't think I could ever give up and rely on one income again. Way too risky!

I'm so sorry life is so shit for you right now. There's no answer I can give really other than if you don't feel like you're in it together then perhaps that's what needs reviewing?

(Ps never underestimate how much debt some of these "rich" people are in. I found out someones debts recently which was completely mind blowing!)

Of course skint and average men can be arseholes too. But the point is it’s much easier to leave a skint or average man.

I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations

Yes we do that. Just planning to renovate upstairs, booked a lovely 2 week long haul holiday, kids in private schools.
Thanks to my career. Much nicer to be successful yourself than to depend on someone else.
Why does it have to be the husband?

@Thepeopleversuswork how is it easier to leave when there’s no money? I would assume it’s easier to be a single parent when you’ve got the family home with no mortgage and/or a healthy child maintenance than single parent on the bones on her arse having to work every hour god sends cus your exes minimum wage job gives you the bare minimum in maintenance and you’re having to pay rent / live with family and work yourself into the ground just to feed the children.

A mum at DDs school divorced last year. She’s still living in their very large home, no mortgage to worry about, the childrens school fees have been paid up in advance and although she is now working part time, it isn’t her job that’s taken her children abroad 3 times this year so far. I’d rather be her if I had to choose between single mum lifestyles! No temporary accommodation, arguing over how gets the 1 family car or squeezing back into her parents house for her.

It’s clearly not easier to leave a skint or average man, it’s easier to leave a Rich one usually as you’re entitled to half the assets, leaving someone skint or average often can mean a lot of poverty,

I’d give anything to have my husband alive and well again. He was only on minimum wage as I was. Yes we were quite often skint but I never ever wished he earnt more.

why can’t you earn more?

Having more money really doesnt mean more happiness in your marriage. People divorce or die whether they’re rich or poor.

I think it would just be nice to have another wage coming in.... I've been single for 11 years and I work a full time job and a part time job so we don't go without but unfortunately not in an area that pays particularly well but I love 🤷‍♀️

All my friends have partners so two wages and another wage would make a great difference! Not sure it's worth the pay off though having to share my house 🙈

I wish that my DH had more money, too.
He was in a notoriously badly paying industry and now has a very small pension. So we rely mainly on my income and have done for the majority of our married life.
Sometimes I felt as Mykittensmittens does, when she says:
“however I have worked bloody bloody hard since the day I left uni. I’ve stuck with jobs that are stressful, long hours, and hard work. I’ve moved up the career ladder through gritting my teeth and making sacrifices - limited mat leave being one. While all my friends were working PT or having years off, I worked and bloody worked”

Having said that, it was his house that we originally moved into which he owned outright and he paid off a much bigger mortgage years later with an inheritance, so it isn't as if he didn't bring anything to the family pot, and it evens itself out financially.

For me, this isn’t about wanting to live off a man, or even about who put what sum into the family pot.
It's about the amount of valuable time that you have to spend, making a reasonable living when the other partner isn't doing the same.
It's only now I’ve retired that I realise how little time I actually spent being in and enjoying my nice house and garden, how often I was too knackered to have that night out or that day trip, how seeing friends often went by the wayside when I had to write reports over weekends, etc. Not to mention seeing more of the DC.

@blackheartsgirl

And again so can poor men and average men and she doesn’t need to put up with abuse, as he is wealthy she would be likely wealthy if she left.

My dream is to live in a castle and be a princess. Dreams don't hurt and keep us going when life is hard or full. When kids get older you can earn more money yourself.

Earn your own money!

These threads always go the same way. Someone having a vague daydream about not having to work and spending more time with their kids, not actually saying 'my life would 100% be better if my husband were rich; if that were the case nothing could go wrong', and then posters turn up to either tell her how wealthy they are, or to tell her that, while they have a rich husband and enjoy the fruits of it, she's sad for wanting it. Also they ate beans for three years before hubby made VP.

Well if he dies you get all his money, if he leaves you more than likely get half

That doesn't help you much if the husband is not super wealthy with a ton of assets, but just on the level where you can afford some foreign holidays and house renovations. If he dies the income is gone, if you divorce you might get some child support if lucky, but the salary he earns after the divorce will be his alone.
Much safer to earn your own.