I shouldn't admit this... but I wish I had a rich husband!

[Dreamofriches]

Im exhausted about worrying about money 24/7. Exhausted feeling I have no time. Wondering if it will ever get better, and how! Exhausted of pretending to everyone there isn't serious money worries.

I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations because their husbands have become very successful. What a dream! Even just one year of living like this would be bliss.

I know how anti-feminist this is, I know its up to me to be my own rich husband but its hard when you need also have other responsibilities.
I just want to dream a bit of a life where we are having conversations about which country to visit, not how we have to cut back even more.

Im not sure the point of this post, I just want to vent and can't admit this in real life as I know how awful I sound.

I don't think you are unusual in this op! My dh earns enough and I'm very pleased about it. I wouldn't be with someone just for money, but all else being equal I'd choose rich over poor any day of the week.

Why can't you earn your own money? Everyone has other responsibilities.

Me too - and my OH wishes he had a rich wife too 🤣

Do you work?

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with wanting to be rich, if you are exhausted by money worries. It is interesting that your default wish is a "rich husband" rather than just wishing to be rich yourself. Given it's a daydream anyway!

Yes.

I wish my husband earned more. Life would be much easier

I would rather be ‘rich’ off of my own hard work than that of a husband.

What happens if rich husband dies or leaves you?

Echoing the others. Why not aim to improve your own financial situation. Seriously, who doesn’t have ‘other responsibilities’. Work your way up to earning what you wish to be earning.

I understand not wanting to be poor and struggle. But that was what drove me to work and study and earn a decent income myself. How old are you? Why not seek well paid employment yourself? It's a little ridiculous to wish for someone else to do something but not wish it for yourself.

Exactly this. I used to be far below the poverty line. I’ve changed that drastically over many years of hard work despite my responsibilities.

How far will you go? Advertise yourself looking for a sugar daddy? Sell your kidney?

Do you have a dh who is poor?
What can you do to make money yourself ?

When your rich husband dies you become richer.

I completed a degree and doubled my earning power. I should be better off but the cost of living is killing me. I'm on my own and while I'm actually OK at being single and I'm proud of what I have achieved unless another person comes into the mix I'm always going to find life difficult. They don't have to be rich. Just another wage coming in would make my life so much easier.

Well I agree, and it’s a slightly different perspective and not one that makes me happy or comfortable, but it’s the truth.

my DH is financially useless. He came into the marriage having nothing - been renting property and not saving much. Then we met and he managed to really progress his career and we got married and had DC. Then his career went downhill somewhat, for various reasons, long story. He could have made it different.

however I have worked bloody bloody hard since the day I left uni. I’ve stuck with jobs that are stressful, long hours, and hard work. I’ve moved up the career ladder through gritting my teeth and making sacrifices - limited mat leave being one. While all my friends were working PT or having years off, I worked and bloody worked. And now I’m high up in my game. I earn 4 times what my husband does.

and I’m the one to pay for the family of 5 to have holidays. I buy almost everything. I am responsible for everything and my DH who has made different choices just reaps the benefit. I buy a new car, and he just gets to use that lovely new car whenever he fancies. If I want a meal out, I have to pay for all 5 of us as he never has any money. That’s one example of many. Our marriage is far from equal, financially. And yes I’m considering my position at the moment, but if we divorced, he’d reap half of my pension, the house that I’ve paid for, and so on. And no he didn’t contribute by being a SAHM dad or anything, he just insisted he needed to do low paid, stress free work. And due to his age he’ll retire 8 years earlier than me, and I’ll have to keep on slogging keep him fed and watered.

I often wonder if men in high earning positions feel like this but don’t say anything.

I'm a single parent on minimum wage and I never wish I had a rich husband. I would NEVER want to rely on a man for money in any situation. I don't want a husband anyway so that probably helps!

I do wish for a big lottery win so I can be rich on my own!

I don't wish for a rich husband but I wish to be rich in my own right

Men are not our saviours

I'm sure lots of women feel like this! Don't feel bad!

I agree op. I have friends married to well off men. Their lives are supported by money, they have choices. Must be bloody great.

I think many of us get where you’re coming from. Life is much, much easier when you don’t have serious financial worries.

I feel just having a husband would be good. I'm sick of trying to meet the cost of living solely from my own money, even though I've always worked full time, have two degrees and have tried to progress around parenting and elderly caring responsibilities. There is little money left over after the basics and my married friends have a a better quality of life on lower personal incomes than mine. Now I've also got health problems (probably because I am so stressed trying to do everything alone) to add in. DD's aspirations (on top of a job) are to have a rich husband, my 20 yo self would have been horrified, my 50-something self is encouraging her.

@Mykittensmittens
I think the difference is often the wives of these rich men are doing a hell of a lot to facilitate his life and make it easier. Dealing with kids, running the house, dealing with all the mental load a family has. Unfortunately it sounds like your dh hasn't been doing that for you?

DD's aspirations (on top of a job) are to have a rich husband, my 20 yo self would have been horrified, my 50-something self is encouraging her

There's worse life plans to be fair! And yes as you get older you do see the benefit of marrying wisely let's just say

Rich husbands are often away/ absent/ stressed/ travelling/ burn out / Poor health.
or stingy and uncaring .

No. I'm going to make sure I make my own money.

Amen