Page 7 | I shouldn't admit this... but I wish I had a rich husband!

Dreamofriches · 2022-05-06T13:23:13+00:00

Im exhausted about worrying about money 24/7. Exhausted feeling I have no time. Wondering if it will ever get better, and how! Exhausted of pretending to everyone there isn't serious money worries. I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations because their husbands have become very successful. What a dream! Even just one year of living like this would be bliss. I know how anti-feminist this is, I know its up to me to be my own rich husband but its hard when you need also have other responsibilities. I just want to dream a bit of a life where we are having conversations about which country to visit, not how we have to cut back even more. Im not sure the point of this post, I just want to vent and can't admit this in real life as I know how awful I sound.

brookstar · 06/05/2022 20:04

The problem is when you have kids more often than not the mother ends up taking more responsibility and wants to do the raising

I would say the issue is the mother ends up taking more responsibility whether she wants to or not ...

SoggyPaper · 06/05/2022 20:09

It is hard when you’re struggling for money. And the idea of a ‘silver bullet’ (rich husband) just taking all the stress about money away without any additional fort from you is obviously appealing.

You’d be better off fantasising about a lottery win instead though. 🤣

Iamthewombat · 06/05/2022 21:19

Onwards22 · 06/05/2022 19:16

They were doing it because they wanted to have a dig. Like the poster who told her that nobody rich would even consider her.

@Iamthewombat If you’re referring to my post then there are many people who would not want to be with someone who doesn’t share the same work ethic as them.
Why do you find that so hard to believe?

Can you imagine a man coming on here saying he’s fed up of being broke and wants a rich wife to take care of him.

My post was actually referring to the research article I read which concluded that it’s very rare for someone with certain characteristics to go with someone with the complete opposite characteristics - we have Disney to blame for a lot of it where nearly every one showed a poor, desperate female who was rescued by a rich prince and lived happily ever after.

I pity you if you can’t see anything wrong with OPs dream of having a rich husband (who she’d be completely dependent on) rather than becoming rich herself (which she can share with her DH, DCs, wider family etc if she chose to).

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic.
The grass isn’t always greener.

Eh? You don’t know the first thing about my opinions on this subject, other than what I’ve posted on this thread. Which was:

1 Laughing at you for attempting to put the OP in her place (“what makes you think that a rich man would look at you?”)

2 Laughing at the people advising the OP on what her daydreams (daydreams!) should be.

3 Laughing at the people queuing up (predictably) to tell the OP that if she would only try harder, like them, she might be rich herself!

I tend to avoid forming passionate opinions on other people’s daydreams. You should take a leaf out of my book. You’d find it less exhausting, I’m sure!

Iamthewombat · 06/05/2022 21:21

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic

Nothing to do with him being an arse, then?

HollowTalk · 06/05/2022 22:40

Iamthewombat · 06/05/2022 21:21

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic

Nothing to do with him being an arse, then?

In what way is he an arse? I've seen most of his YouTube interviews (Diary of a CEO) and think he's great.

SoggyPaper · 06/05/2022 22:48

HollowTalk · 06/05/2022 22:40

In what way is he an arse? I've seen most of his YouTube interviews (Diary of a CEO) and think he's great.

Show quote history

I’m not sure this is a great indication of what he’d be like to live with.

Overthewine · 06/05/2022 22:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Overthewine · 06/05/2022 22:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 06/05/2022 23:36

I have a friend who has a rich husband, she has a big house, nice holidays and the kids are in private schools.

But he's an arsehole and she's now in a situation where she couldn't easily leave him.

She has paid a high price for her rich husband.

I would like to be rich, but I want my own money!

NannyGythaOgg · 07/05/2022 00:03

I wish I had a rich husband too

except

without the husband.

ZenNudist · 07/05/2022 00:19

Why not just wish to be rich yourself?why does he have to be the successful one? Wishing aside what can you do to improve your finances?

hellcatspanglelalala · 07/05/2022 00:34

TabithaTittlemouse · 06/05/2022 14:47

I would rather be ‘rich’ off of my own hard work than that of a husband.

What happens if rich husband dies or leaves you?

Well if he dies you get all his money, if he leaves you more than likely get half 🤷🏼‍♀️

SouperNoodle · 07/05/2022 00:34

I would love to be rich in my own right AND have a rich husband.
That's the dream.

MountainDewer · 07/05/2022 02:54

Mykittensmittens · 06/05/2022 15:07

Well I agree, and it’s a slightly different perspective and not one that makes me happy or comfortable, but it’s the truth.

my DH is financially useless. He came into the marriage having nothing - been renting property and not saving much. Then we met and he managed to really progress his career and we got married and had DC. Then his career went downhill somewhat, for various reasons, long story. He could have made it different.

however I have worked bloody bloody hard since the day I left uni. I’ve stuck with jobs that are stressful, long hours, and hard work. I’ve moved up the career ladder through gritting my teeth and making sacrifices - limited mat leave being one. While all my friends were working PT or having years off, I worked and bloody worked. And now I’m high up in my game. I earn 4 times what my husband does.

and I’m the one to pay for the family of 5 to have holidays. I buy almost everything. I am responsible for everything and my DH who has made different choices just reaps the benefit. I buy a new car, and he just gets to use that lovely new car whenever he fancies. If I want a meal out, I have to pay for all 5 of us as he never has any money. That’s one example of many. Our marriage is far from equal, financially. And yes I’m considering my position at the moment, but if we divorced, he’d reap half of my pension, the house that I’ve paid for, and so on. And no he didn’t contribute by being a SAHM dad or anything, he just insisted he needed to do low paid, stress free work. And due to his age he’ll retire 8 years earlier than me, and I’ll have to keep on slogging keep him fed and watered.

I often wonder if men in high earning positions feel like this but don’t say anything.

You can choose not to give him any money? Make him do the housework? Don’t let him use the car? If I were you I wouldn’t be so generous.

As unpopular as it is - yes, a lot of men do feel like this. MN only gets the ‘unappreciated SAHM’ story but a lot more women are happy to take it easy while husbands work. Especially if said husband is higher earning. It then becomes a constant treadmill.

MountainDewer · 07/05/2022 02:55

Also @Mykittensmittens I’d be seeing a solicitor if I were you. I’m sure there’s a way to plan things so he doesn’t get 50/50. Maybe takes a few years. But better than being saddled with him for life

MountainDewer · 07/05/2022 02:56

And my DP calls my gloves kittens mittens… ASIP is a great shown

MountainDewer · 07/05/2022 03:03

Also adding I agree with the general sentiment. Life is so much better with more money.
You can’t predict the future obviously. Health, job none of it is guaranteed but I deliberately chose a higher earning DP.

Im also a high earner and didn’t fancy paying for everything AND childcare. As it stands we are both in a position to drop days, flex when it suits us.

Cameleongirl · 07/05/2022 03:05

Onwards22 · 06/05/2022 19:16

They were doing it because they wanted to have a dig. Like the poster who told her that nobody rich would even consider her.

@Iamthewombat If you’re referring to my post then there are many people who would not want to be with someone who doesn’t share the same work ethic as them.
Why do you find that so hard to believe?

Can you imagine a man coming on here saying he’s fed up of being broke and wants a rich wife to take care of him.

My post was actually referring to the research article I read which concluded that it’s very rare for someone with certain characteristics to go with someone with the complete opposite characteristics - we have Disney to blame for a lot of it where nearly every one showed a poor, desperate female who was rescued by a rich prince and lived happily ever after.

I pity you if you can’t see anything wrong with OPs dream of having a rich husband (who she’d be completely dependent on) rather than becoming rich herself (which she can share with her DH, DCs, wider family etc if she chose to).

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic.
The grass isn’t always greener.

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic.

That's a different issue though, @Onwards22 . Workaholics put their careers before other spectators of their lives, that’s the problem for potential partners. It’s not really about money, it’s about priorities. One of my friends is married to a workaholic-yes, he’s highly respected in his field and earns a lot, but work comes before everything. But I know wealthier people who don’t always put work first

Adeleskirts · 07/05/2022 06:55

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 06/05/2022 23:36

I have a friend who has a rich husband, she has a big house, nice holidays and the kids are in private schools.

But he's an arsehole and she's now in a situation where she couldn't easily leave him.

She has paid a high price for her rich husband.

I would like to be rich, but I want my own money!

I don’t understand the point of this? Skint men can be arseholes too. And average ones, Plenty women have married a skint or average earning arsehole and they don’t leave either.

being an arsehole is not correlated to how much money you have.

id get the point of only wealthy men can be arseholes. But this really isn’t the case. And many women are arseholes too.,,

ChocolateHippo · 07/05/2022 07:12

Yes, arsehole-ness is not correlated to salary. The good thing about marrying or at least having children with someone who is well-paid (not necessarily rich but employed (not self-employed) with a decent salary) is that they're on the hook for a decent amount of child maintenance if the relationship breaks up and they refuse to have the children 50/50. The amount many men have to pay is woefully low.

Mummadeze · 07/05/2022 07:13

I sometimes wish I had a partner who would take more responsibility for things and want to look after me a bit more. My fantasies are more about sharing that mental load. It gets exhausting being the person who has to think about every bit of life admin. But I earn quite well luckily and have always been the breadwinner. I still do the lottery and hope for more though. I love working but the older I get, the more exhausting it is becoming. Early retirement would be the dream.

CornishGem1975 · 07/05/2022 07:22

I hear you.

And I don't want to be the rich one either. I work hard and earn more than my DH but I don't want to work I want a rich husband to work hard and pay all the bills and take me on swanky holidays and let me live a lazy life of luxury. Next lifetime I am totally doing it differently.

Perfectlystill · 07/05/2022 07:23

TabithaTittlemouse · 06/05/2022 14:47

I would rather be ‘rich’ off of my own hard work than that of a husband.

What happens if rich husband dies or leaves you?

Classic MN

SoggyPaper · 07/05/2022 07:26

its easier to dream of becoming instantly rich yourself. If only because then you don’t have to worry about whether the (rich) husband is an arsehole. You can’t always tell in advance. 🤣

Life would definitely be easier as a single mother with loads of money (to buy in help) than with a pain in the arse co-parent.

VintageGibbon · 07/05/2022 07:34

I live in a wealthy area filled with women who have rich husbands. They do yoga and volunteering work. And keel in shock when the rich husbands out of the blue demand a divorce because they are shipping in a new model. I know kids who've been pulled out of their private schools because daddy decided they weren't as worth funding as his new car/girlfriend. I know several women who have been broken by the experience.

Earn your own money.