I shouldn't admit this... but I wish I had a rich husband!

[Dreamofriches]

Im exhausted about worrying about money 24/7. Exhausted feeling I have no time. Wondering if it will ever get better, and how! Exhausted of pretending to everyone there isn't serious money worries.

I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations because their husbands have become very successful. What a dream! Even just one year of living like this would be bliss.

I know how anti-feminist this is, I know its up to me to be my own rich husband but its hard when you need also have other responsibilities.
I just want to dream a bit of a life where we are having conversations about which country to visit, not how we have to cut back even more.

Im not sure the point of this post, I just want to vent and can't admit this in real life as I know how awful I sound.

Rich husbands can also be attentive, loving and kind. Just putting it out there!

Becoming an investment banker isn’t the only way to make money. And even if it was, why is it only realistic that she can marry an investment banker and not be one?

@Louise0701

No, she thought she loved him when she married him. He didn't show his true colours until she was pregnant. He just did not treat her with any respect.

no, they were reacting to her sexist post. It’s all more within her control to make more money herself than it is to get a rich person to marry her.

Yes, of course they can, but the was implying that her life would be wonderful if her husband was rich. It might be, but it might well not be.

I don't think your dream is wrong OP. To the people saying why not you be the rich one, I like daydreaming about both outcomes. The ones where I land the 6 figure salary job and get to go home and tell DP that our worries are over, let's go house shopping, me doing important and difficult work and obviously smashing it (it's my dream, after all!). But also, it's fun sometimes to imagine staying at home, getting involved in charities, hobbies, lots of quality time with DC, lots of nice holidays in which I've not gone one eye on the phone thinking about work.

The best of both would be both high earners, work part time, split childcare and still earn a mint I guess - never going to be us!

@Iamthewombat

one or two posters were having a dig. The majority were just pointing out that seeking to yoke your financial wellbeing to someone else’s whim is like gambling.

Good for you @MyCatIsAJerk ! Self-respect and a sense of decorum trumps any amount of money this man may have had. Kudos to you 💐

I’d rather I was rich myself.

I didn't marry for money, I married for love and to create a stable secure unit for my family.
When we met I outearned my h. Then I had 3 dc and worked pt. I carried all the stress, h went to work and cooked tea most nights. I felt lucky as he wasn't abusive or so I thought.
He remained employed full time, now earning a large amount and putting in his pension all the time.

We've now separated and he's laughing. High income, pension pots filling, dc see him once a week at best. He didn't seem bothered about money when we met but he is, it's totally changed him and I don't like who he became.
I'm not struggling but feel shafted. Emotionally and financially.

I am a high earner and I wish I had a rich husband! Earn close to six figures myself but husband’s earnings were decimated during Covid and have yet to even close to recover. So whilst we are very lucky that my earnings have gone up, financially we are earning no more than when I was the very low earner.

It’s depressing that I earn so much and still Live pay check to pay check, barely scraping by. There’s been many times the last few months that I’ve privately wish DH had stayed in IT, not left to set up his own business ten years ago. It’s odd because it was exactly the right thing for him to do ten years ago. It’s just now I wish he was also a high earner.

They were doing it because they wanted to have a dig. Like the poster who told her that nobody rich would even consider her.

@Iamthewombat If you’re referring to my post then there are many people who would not want to be with someone who doesn’t share the same work ethic as them.
Why do you find that so hard to believe?

Can you imagine a man coming on here saying he’s fed up of being broke and wants a rich wife to take care of him.

My post was actually referring to the research article I read which concluded that it’s very rare for someone with certain characteristics to go with someone with the complete opposite characteristics - we have Disney to blame for a lot of it where nearly every one showed a poor, desperate female who was rescued by a rich prince and lived happily ever after.

I pity you if you can’t see anything wrong with OPs dream of having a rich husband (who she’d be completely dependent on) rather than becoming rich herself (which she can share with her DH, DCs, wider family etc if she chose to).

I read an interview with Steven off dragons den (who’s apparently lovely in RL) who said he struggles to find a gf as he’s a workaholic.
The grass isn’t always greener.

I could have written this to be honest we seem to have friends with bottomless pits of money 💰

The problem is when you have kids more often than not the mother ends up taking more responsibility and wants to do the raising

DH rarely spends any money which is quite good, if you can't find a rich husband I recommend one who dithers about buying stuff for so long he never buys anything 😁

I agree @Onwards22 rich people tend to marry each other. The Disney trope of cinders getting rescued by Prince Charming is pretty unlikely.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Everyone wants different things.
My husband and I were both training in professional careers when we met, we both lived in house shares and while not poor we weren't rich enough at all.
Now he comfortably earns six figures and it's given me the freedom to take time off work and for my work in around my life.
On the flip side if he'd taken the maternity leaves and had to work around the kids I'd be on six figures. Now I never will be because he is never going to be the one to do the school run or pick sick kids up unless it suits him. He's worked very hard to get to this point in his career and finds it necessary to be all in. He feels a lot of pressure to be a good provider but it has required my sacrifice too not just his hard work.

my husband earns shed loads but won’t share any of it - I struggle to pay for everything expected of me to keep house going and kids happy. Sucks

I had to quit my career to become a FT carer to my disabled son.

We struggled on one wage and so dh accepted a 'big' job with a big wage.

He now works long hours, travels and is generally quite stressed most of the time.

I would rather have less money and more time with him.

You are married.
See a,lawyer
Why do you accept this

A financial safety net makes life easier in terms of choices and removing money worries but it doesn’t always make other aspects better. My family life was better when my husband and I were both at middle manager level. He’s earning well as a senior leader but it might be at the expense of our marriage if something doesn’t change.

I’d rather be rich myself but if not, a rich husband would be fine

That sounds horrendous

I’ve ended up with a rich DH by accident (he was penniless and in debt when we met, he moved into my flat and I paid for our wedding and house deposit). It is rather good , there’s still the usual shite life throws at you but finding the money for things isn’t one of them.

As much as I love my job I wish I had made different choices when I was younger so I could match my DH in earnings ........

@Dreamofriches it's all about the choices we make in life