I shouldn't admit this... but I wish I had a rich husband!

[Dreamofriches]

Im exhausted about worrying about money 24/7. Exhausted feeling I have no time. Wondering if it will ever get better, and how! Exhausted of pretending to everyone there isn't serious money worries.

I would just love to be like my friends and family who don't have any money worries, have multiple holidays too look forward to, can give their kids amazing education and activities and are planning house renovations because their husbands have become very successful. What a dream! Even just one year of living like this would be bliss.

I know how anti-feminist this is, I know its up to me to be my own rich husband but its hard when you need also have other responsibilities.
I just want to dream a bit of a life where we are having conversations about which country to visit, not how we have to cut back even more.

Im not sure the point of this post, I just want to vent and can't admit this in real life as I know how awful I sound.

Why don't you wish you earned more yourself? Do you earn anything at the moment?

I would never want to be reliant on a partner, surely that would be even more stressful. My DH does have a good job, he could earn more but stays with his current employer because they are flexible and within cycling distance.

I wish MY DH was rich. I don't want another husband, just for DH to be rich. But then he wishes I was born wealthy too

We both work and are looking for better paid opportunities but so far nothing is coming back and we don't have the lifestyle we need without worrying about finances yet.

🤣🤣🤣

I’m sure OPs husband wishes he had a rich wife

I will add I also think that having choice of working is a real luxury.

Even with no need for the money you may want to work- but your current job full of bad bosses/ clients/ conditions etc and you have rich partner (or lottery win/ trust fund!) you can afford to walk away and not feel trapped.

Personally, I think it was a bit easier when a lot of my friends/ family of my age also felt like me- but as the years pass they've all been able to give up stressful and unpleasant jobs. They are so lucky to free!

I guess I have no one is real life I know in my position who gets it anymore. Maybe its just the exhaustion talking.

I’m sure your DH also wishes he had a rich wife too.

If someone was rich why do you think they would go for you?

I read an article recently about how females grow up expecting someone to financially bail them out and many women subconsciously don’t worry about their careers because they think their future DH will pick up the slack financially.
Whereas males grow up expecting a female who is physically attractive and tend to focus more on their careers knowing that the more money they have the more attractive their DW will be.

And it said that in both cases this rarely happens and people try and date out of their league, whether financially or physically.
And they end up being unhappy or single forever because anyone who is in a different category than you is less likely to go for you.

Basically if you want a rich husband you need to be rich yourself.
If you want a gorgeous husband you need to be gorgeous yourself.

I'm not a high earner but my wage is one some would consider to be good. But I'm a single mother and having significantly less coming in than the majority of two income families means I can't give my DC the life some children have. I work hard, full time. Having sole responsibility for keeping a roof over our heads is hard. I can't help but envy those who have money for the extras I can't afford.

YANBU OP and it’s refreshing that many have agreed and accepted many feel this way. Nobody wants to struggle.

We have an incredibly privileged life and I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful constantly worrying about having enough money for food and fuel must be.

I would love to have more money but to rely on a spouse to provide me that - no way! It would make me feel on edge, like the plug could be pulled at any point.

I imagine that of us on here are super-thankful to be able to have roofs over and not depend on food banks. It's alarming how many families are living in poverty in the UK.

On a far more whimsical note, I hear you OP. I am sick of worrying about money all the time. Our situation is compounded by the fact the majority of our friends are very high earners - think second homes, serious six figure salaries, multiple foreign holidays a year. Once again, I know we are 'okay' compared to so many who are making the choice between food and heat, for example, but I'm sick of worrying too and it seems compounded by so many around us.

I don’t think that this is unreasonable at all OP, however, not all that glitters is gold.

My sister is married to a rich man and while they have 3 holidays a year, a lovely 5 bedroom house, 3 children who couldn’t be more perfect if they tried, it’s not all that it’s cracked out to be.

There are many times that she has messaged or called me expressing her distain in regards to the fact that her husband is very rarely around. He works a full time job, sometimes finishing and getting home very late, rarely seeing the little ones, thus leaving everything up to her to deal with.

Time to herself is rare if not non-existent.

She does her best of course because she is a strong woman; much stronger than I! Lol. But it is still a struggle being a full time SAHM and shouldn’t be misconstrued for what most would deem a ‘perfect life’.

Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even I only know what my sister tells me.

In light of this, I’m doing my best to be happy and content with my lot and stop looking at my sister’s situation and constantly comparing.

I'd love to be rich myself - who wouldn't? I don't really mind if it's from me or DH!

A few of my friends have chosen low paid careers they enjoy because they have a high earning DH, so that is a real privilege. But then at the same time it's a bit of a risk to be v dependent on someone.

It's useful if one of you is v well paid and career driven and then the other less so, when you have DC.

My DH is a social worker so works v long hours for a not amazing wage. I worry about him burning out as he's so stressed. So I'd love for him to either have a less stressful job or earn more (so we could afford to make life less stressful eg cleaner, nice holidays).

*disdain

I didn’t meet my dh until my late twenties, when I had some financial experience. Some of the qualities I found very attractive then were his drive, ambition and work ethic.

In my early teens and early twenties I liked the artistic dreamer types who wanted to discuss philosophy. The experience of working hard, vying for promotions, budgeting etc changed my point of view and priorities.

I wouldn’t say I was specifically looking for a rich man (he wasn’t one), but I was definitely trying to avoid anyone that I would have to support.

How do you live like that and not hate him! Sounds awful

Rich husbands can be tight with money, crap fathers, financially abusive.
I had a rich OH who was only interested in himself- I got into debt just to keep up with paying my share of restaurants, holidays etc.
I have a friend with a mega wealthy husband, and although she has bottomless credit cards puts up with a lot of abusive shit from him. She feels trapped.

I would rather be rich myself than beholden to a wealthy man.

I never wish for a rich husband. I wish for my own financial independence without having to do the tiresome hard graft of working for it (hullo Lottery!)

Relying on a rich husband? Nah. There's no satisfaction in knowing you have so much more to lose from the end of the relationship than they do. There's no satisfaction for me in such inequality.

Financially independent, non-working single mum! That's my dream

I wish I had a rich husband so I could stay home all day and spend tons of money and do as I pleased and not work. Or go on these holidays and have big houses etc that a lot of my friends have because of a rich husband.

As it is, I know we will never be rich so I am making steps to further my education and get a job that pays marginally better but will be much more rewarding personally than my previous job was. I've accepted the fact riches are not going to feature in my life.

I had the opportunity back in the day to marry a multi-millionaire, when multi-millionaires were not as common as they are today.
He was very kind and liked me a great deal — dare I say was in love with me.
He was 20 years older than me, so I felt we had little in common — not school, not music, not friends, not anything really.
He also thought it appropriate to make comments and “improvements” on my choice of clothing, my opinions, my judgement and even sometimes my family.
I am not stupid, I was never inappropriate and this was never called for. It grated.
Although the prospect of an easy life was attractive, the prospect of a life with this man was just not sustainable.
I broke off the relationship and I’ve never, ever regretted it.

I can totally relate to wanting to be rich but I can't think of anything worse than having your financial health depend on your husband.

You would never ever feel totally comfortable. Everything that you think of as yours would be contingent on you behaving well, being nice to him, being a good housekeeper, being attractive, producing enough kids, being good enough in bed, whatever the milestone might be.

Someone will tip up in a minute to say its all "family money" etc etc. And it is in the sense that you could have some protection in the event he ran off with his assistant. But you would always feel that your money was conditional. I'm a single mum and have never been able to rely on anyone else's money and to be honest I now think that this is a blessing. Everything I've made is mine (and my daughter's) and I don't have to worry about it being taken away because I'm not deemed to be a good enough wife.

Honestly I can't think of anything worse.

In our house I am the main earner. It was not planned that way we both did the same course at Uni. Just when work came along my DH did not like it very much. Before DC he would often leave each job after say six months having fallen out with people. He unilaterally become a stay at home Dad. Okay it suited me, but he never went back to work. Arguing that it was for him to decide which job he would do and not just "take any old job". He did not work again until our youngest was 16 and then only for another year. He fell out again with his employers and left. No discussion again, this is apparently solely his decision to take. Lately (he is in his early 50s now), I have heard him describe his work status as retired. I would never encourage my daughter to put up with this. For me earn your own money do your own thing and equally do not tolerate someone who is not interested in pulling their weight in a relationship.

Nah, I’d hate to be relying on a man for my money. I earn more than my DP…maybe he wishes he had a richer partner though!

I get wishing to win the lottery but wishing your husband was rich so he had to work hard and have all of the stress that comes with it, whilst you have none - is just odd to me.

Yes, it’s brilliant tbh. Growing up every day was stressful and tense around money. It coloured everything.
Life now is so relaxing and pleasant.
You sound like an absolute hero keeping the whole show on the road and no doubt you are a stronger and wiser human being than me.
Hope things ease up soon.