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Original poster

Those with no friends - do you hide it?

202 replies

LottieTx · 05/05/2022 13:27

As above really. I don’t have any friends. I’m a nice person - quiet and a bit boring but I’m nice so I’m not really sure why I’ve never managed a friendship. I have an old school friend I see maybe 2/3 times a year and I’m close to my sibling but that’s it. No group of friends, no friends from any hobbies or work. I have a lovely DH but I’m lonely a lot. Thing is I don’t think people realise I don’t have any and I’m actually worried they’ll find out and think less of me.
Twice in the past week or so I’ve had someone say to me about another person ‘well I don’t think they’ve got any friends’ in a derogatory way. I just nodded. I felt so stupid.

I suppose my question is - if you’re like me and have no friends do people know? Do you hide it? And for those with good friend groups any tips on how to make any as an adult?

OP posts:

Tryingtohelp12 · 18/06/2023 19:46

I think making friends as an adult involves a lot of putting yourself out there -and time. It’s not like school/uni where u see people everyday and therefore build relationships quickly. It can take months for things to progress from seeing them regularly in a particular context (eg in a gym class/school run etc). There is a mum in school who I would like to be friends with (sounds lane now I say it). I’ve definitely had to put myself out there e.g inviting her for a coffee, instigating play dates , sending texts etc. she text me yesterday to thank me for an activity we did together and revealed she has anxiety and is trying to do more. Sometimes people need you to make a move! As you can see from this thread there are lots of people out there looking for connections.

Purplesmartie12 · 18/06/2023 22:43

Teaspooned · 18/06/2023 19:21

The slightly superior tone in this kind of post always puzzles me. You’re presumably an ordinary person married to another ordinary person trying (and from the heart I wish you the best in it) to do the deeply ordinary thing of having a child. Yet you both ‘passionately despise’, or ‘mildly dislike’ people, despite being people yourselves. What makes you the exception here to the ‘mild dislike’? What makes you acceptable to one another, when no one else appears to be? And it’s not that having a child ‘makes you socialise’, it’s more that as a parent you may want to model the possibility of having healthy, mutually enriching relationships, rather than regarding the entire human race with ‘mild dislike’.

Show quote history

Sometimes when people have put walls up they don't like people and do create a bubble. Judging people before getting to know then

If previous bad things have happened with socialise it creates that barrier.

Also with IVF people doubt it will happen then get angry with people who have kids naturally so you secluded yourself. It does become just you and your partner.
Getting a negative pregnancy test might of clouded there judgement

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