Most amusing comment on MN

[NFLwidow]

I’m relatively new to Mumsnet (18 months ish). After reading some absolute pearlers today re eating out and managing to make left over toddler meals last 2 days, I’m intrigued to know what are the stand out posts you remember.

Ive read classics but I’m after one liners that made you properly laugh.

Suzi Quatro's fat nan is one I like.

Favourite was a question 'What has caused my muff to ming?' It tickled my funny bone. Answer was coconut scented toilet paper iirc.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate oh no!! Didn't realise it had gone - DH suffers my (heavy) MN use and thread retelling but never seems to really get behind it - and that is the only one he actually uses himself

Suzi Quattro's fat nan is the first time I actually laughed out loud at MN. I also laughed a lot at the woman who made coo coo noises to interrupt someone at work and couldn't see that was a bit weird.

A poster was getting rid of her dining room suite to use the room for a sitting room.

She sold the six chairs but was left with a large table that wasn't selling.

She complained that it was just sitting there like a cunt.

In a recent thread about wearing jumpsuits, somebody was concerned they might look like “an angry toddler with a full nappy”. Hilarious!

I would love to see the thread about the young lad offering IT/tech help if anyone has a link

Someone on a post right now is saying that a woman who doesn’t live with her partner is a booty call. Ah, I do love the MN weirdness of relationships not actually existing until you move in.

@MooseBeTimeForSnow

Definitely Suzy Quattro’s Fat Nan. There were some other superlative descriptors on the same thread.

My favourite comment from that thread is from the poor poster who had an unfortunate haircut. Upon entering the room, someone in her family said "Fuck me, it's Colonel Gaddafi"

@Thursa

The one where the poster was going to call her child a whiny tinker, but what she actually said was tiny wanker. Every so often that pops into my head and gives me a laugh.

Yes that's the one thing on here thats made me chuckle out loud.

On a thread last year about lunches to take to work.

Some post about badgers and eating out?....someone asked if they had the sett menu,make me howl.

I had a good laugh at 'nippy woo woo'. As if anyone would know what that actually meant.

@Rebelmcstreettuff I remember it well!

I have two 😂

One made by jesusinthecabbagevan, on a thread about people doing weird shit in the woods, made me howl 😂

And also on a thread about a bin stealer about bin stealers wife eyebrows 😂

Can anyone link to Suzie Quattros Fat Nan please? I need a laugh today.

I think that was quite widely discussed on the thread and nobody had any idea at the time grin
The thread was clearly bollocks but it got some very funny replies!!

Aaaaah, thanks, @Partyatnumber10 - not just me, then!

Bitten by a cunting seal 😂😂 that would happen to me !!

Sounds really random out of context, but the woman who was wolf-whistled at by some builders up high on scaffolding and wanted something shocking and offensive to shout back at them, to put them in their place. All she could come up with was "Willy, willy, willy!!!!"

'There are people having sex in my hedge' (can't remember how it went verbatim):
"How do you know it's people - it's most probably just foxes, isn't it?"
"Well, I've never heard a fox before asking its mating partner to stick their finger up his bum!"

@WindyKnickers

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3106919-Anyone-want-to-come-and-mourn-the-reality-vs-expectation-of-new-purchases-with-me

@FrancescaContini

On a thread about the cost of living increase: a poster complained about the increased cost of the pine nuts that she needed for her homemade wild garlic pesto. I especially enjoyed the detail about the garlic being wild.

Wild garlic is different to garlic. Wild garlic looks like leaves, it's common to be foraged this time of year

A poster said that they plucked their eyebrows ever day.

Wit says something like 'Fuck me, are you Liam Gallagher?'

Thread in pregnancy where a poster was canvassing opinion as to which chap could be the father of her baby (conceived during covid lockdowns) ....

Someone replied with Christ I haven't had that many people inside my house since last March let alone my vagina

The OP did see the funny side of the reply

😂

Oh my goodness - my pelvic floor doesn't thank any of you for this gem of a thread.

Some of the comments are brilliant and I remember some (though not all of them).

I joined under a different username just after the Angela Hernandez thread.

I honestly can't remember many of the one liners but these have been brilliantly funny of an Easter Sunday.

Everytime I read the expectations thread I am heartened to be reminded how amusing people can be.

@Absoluteunit

Really old and I can't remember what thread they were on but

Your minge!
and
Fuck off you spud cunt

Haha yes the spud cunt was something to do with badly behaved potatoes at a self checkout I think. It was so funny.

The one when someone made owl noises at a woman who criticised her yoghurt choice. Telling someone it has to be Muller light or your not doing SW properly (or something like that) was the crazy part but the one noises but derailed the whole thread for poor OP.