Most amusing comment on MN

[NFLwidow]

I’m relatively new to Mumsnet (18 months ish). After reading some absolute pearlers today re eating out and managing to make left over toddler meals last 2 days, I’m intrigued to know what are the stand out posts you remember.

Ive read classics but I’m after one liners that made you properly laugh.

My favourite post ever was on a thread about MN acronyms and new members asking what they meant. Someone said she had been on mumsnet for ages before she realised DH did not mean Dick Head.

My favourite overall thread though is this one. I am on it under a previous username, getting called immature. It wasn't my DH farting though.

To say Dh’s farts spoiled our day out? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3220343-To-say-Dh-s-farts-spoiled-our-day-out

Does anyone remember the thread with the lady who was angry at dinosaurs?? Thought they were faked and an affront to christ or something.

I cried with laughter reading that thread.

Also, sistren chapel.

*sistene

The one about the Yorkshire covid variant that made it to classics. So many funny replies but this one properly set me off:

“Interestingly, most variants infect people through the nose or eyes. But the Yorkshire variant gets in bah gum”

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/4250948-Yorkshire-Variant

Snapped and farted

I remember a thread about animals masturbating in zoos/safari parks etc. One poster recalled being at Longleat or somewhere as a youngster. Apparently, a chimp started wanking against their windscreen resulting in their Mum shrieking "make it stop Gerald!" at their Dad 😆🤣. Definitely a classic!

“Not even my 8 and 14 year old could eat half a tin of beans…”

🙄 only on MN

"I AM Canadian" had me howling. Also "is that you UCM?"

It was such an off the cuff comment but it still gets me:

OP was asking for suggestions on middle names for Havana.

PpP : Oohnana.

Still gets me.

My favourite has to be the OP who posted about her sick DH shuffling around the house in his dressing gown of doom like a shit ghost. Laughed my head off at that one!

Who is UCM? I've seen that one mentioned a couple of times?

'I am Angela Hernandez' made me cry laughing.

Another was 'Willy, Willy Willy!!!'

I'm so sorry Alan

Thread about farting I think and the posters mum had farted on her way to an ambulance, with Alan being the paramedic

I'm laughing even just typing it

@JeffThePilot

I think my all time favourite was when a poster described the awful moment she was struck down with a bout of diarrhoea while on a date, and upon returning to the table her date said to her, “Darling, are you okay? You smell faintly of botty.”

Me and my husband still say that to each other fairly regularly.

Can't.... breathe!!!!!! That is a gem of a line!

@excelledyourself here is the UCM one:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/184802-smelly-ladygarden

There was a hilarious one about the rapids at centerparcs. I'd love to find it again. It was so funny. Lots of talk of People soup and hairy backs 😂

@h0tXberns

My favourite overall thread though is this one. I am on it under a previous username, getting called immature. It wasn't my DH farting though.

To say Dh’s farts spoiled our day out? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3220343-To-say-Dh-s-farts-spoiled-our-day-out

Just read this thread, too funny! I've not laughed like this in quite a while!

Thanks @LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

The threads that I still like to read more and again as they make me properly lol are the woman on the bus talking about her shopping that was in the "fly space" and a man had asked her to move it. No one knew what she was on about and it was hilarious. That and the woman's dh in the supermarket (could've been Asda) "doing the T rex" and she wasn't happy about it!

This is my favourite...( not me but I just c& p original)

I tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be right with you" when we were headed out to visit friends.

What actually came out of my mouth was "A wee wee, a woo woo".

I could hear myself saying it and my brain was yelling at my mouth to stop talking - but too late

I'm so sorry Alan

Thread about farting I think and the posters mum had farted on her way to an ambulance, with Alan being the paramedic

I'm laughing even just typing it

I'm pretty sure it was even funnier than that - as the paramedic's name wasn't actually Alan (or anything like it)!!

The comment about poor little Balonz, like his big sister Data before him, tearfully twirling the personalised tat souvenir racks around endlessly, at every museum, theme park or attraction gift shop - hoping beyond desperate hope that, one day, they might eventually have something on there with his name on it!

Also, in that same thread, somebody asked where OP's friend Balonz (the inspiration for baby Balonz) was from, expecting a place and culture somewhere far-flung like Turkmenistan or Guam and the answer was: Surrey

[bounces final mango off inner elbow, catches it, ta-dahhhh]

A thread on baby names where a poster had asked for names adjacent to Stormi (as in Kardashians).

Amongst the replies were Blowinahoolii and Pissingitdownii .

And an ongoing thread about 10 years ago when the OPs husband had moved out with no warning and was subsequently found to have a pregnant mistress...another poster referred to him as a 'chutney-rustling cunt badger'