Most amusing comment on MN

[NFLwidow]

I’m relatively new to Mumsnet (18 months ish). After reading some absolute pearlers today re eating out and managing to make left over toddler meals last 2 days, I’m intrigued to know what are the stand out posts you remember.

Ive read classics but I’m after one liners that made you properly laugh.

On a thread where the OP asked for suggestions of what to do with the three mangoes she’d had delivered with a fruit and veg box and the first answer was just “juggle them”, followed by the OP getting irrationally irate and rude.

"My yoni says noni!"

Omg the yoni massage thread . Best ever .

Hull dad . You live on . 😂

The one where the poster was going to call her child a whiny tinker, but what she actually said was tiny wanker. Every so often that pops into my head and gives me a laugh.

Reading with intrigue

Definitely Suzy Quattro’s Fat Nan. There were some other superlative descriptors on the same thread.

@RoyKentsChestHair

My favourite was the young man who came on and offered to help us out with our IT issues. He got his arse absolutely handed to him and my favourite post ever was along the lines of “thank fuck you’re here, I’ve just been bashing away at the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best”.

Oh Mr “Anything you Mummies want to ask me about computers? I’m a young male person”? I loved that one.

Sadly couldn’t join in as I’m a tech idiot, but it was beautiful to watch all the MN computing experts converge on him with their expertise (and their tit talk). I nearly felt sorry for him after a while, condescending little twerp.

None of your fancy stuff, just horse it in!

I remember a real ding dong going on about politics or something for pages and pages. One poster went on an epic mealy mouthed rant and just sounded so uptight and judgemental.

The poster it was aimed at just replied “I bet you’re a laugh at parties” and disappeared from the thread.

It was just beautifully timed and made me guffaw at the time. I filed that phrase away in case I needed it.

'Don't forget your flippers!' The punchline of a story about dumping a guy after he dressed up in a full wetsuit and snorkel because he thought it was funny. 🤣

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Also, a thread with a brilliant typo where the OP was talking about a disagreement with a colleague and said "I turned around and urinated in my chair"

I know I'm being thick here, but what was it supposed to be?!

Also, Suzi Quatro's fat nan and up the Oxo tower!

I think that was quite widely discussed on the thread and nobody had any idea at the time The thread was clearly bollocks but it got some very funny replies!!

The poster whose dad said fucking bennett when he got flustered. I don't know why that makes me laugh.

Fatballs.

Was it the Sistine Chapel/snapped and farted thread (iirc) where OP casually replied to someone on the thread 'Oh hi Sandra'??

"A dog just walked over him."

This was a thread about someone on a train who had an arsehole bloke get on and accuse her of being in his seat. She refused to move because her ticket stated the seat was hers. He finally went off in a huff and sat on the train floor sulking. That's when the dog walked over him 😁

The one where someone misspelt the thread title along the lines of 'help, having another kid and need a bigger cat'

@veronicagoldberg

On a thread about ridiculous pronouns, someone said "I don't know who would want to use neo-pronouns like bonk/bonks, etc." The next poster said: "Speak for bonkself", and it cracked me up. I still sometimes laugh when I think of it.

😂

I've just reread the Hugo one

Sex lube and a fish slice is a fav of mine

I think I’ve read all the comments and can’t see that anyone has mentioned the penis beaker. We all had the same questions…..does DH ever change the beaker water? What if he wakes up thirsty in the night and accidentally drinks it? How big is the beaker? Where did you buy a penis beaker? Isn’t it easier just to go to the bathroom for a quick wash? Me and DH still laugh about it

A thread from a while back about menopause, The Grump saying it was lucky she didn't have a shotgun or she'd have fired it through the ceiling at her husband.

'Your minge' of course.

Also Fat Match from the Expectation v Reality thread.

Sharon, is that you?

Not funny on its own but in the T-Rex thread for some reason it had me belly laughing

@oakleaffy on the rambling "dogs are bad" thread (still going on I think!) saying their dog had a "small bore bottom"

On the baby names thread:

"What middle name goes with Havana?"

MN reply: "ooh nana"

And then when the debate turned to working dogs being more justified than others and someone said, "but what does your dog actually do?"

oakleaffy suggested "hedge fund manager with some insider trading in sausages?"

Someone one commenting that getting rapey Harvey Weinstein into court was like trying to get a cat into a bath