Why is children's behaviour worse these days?

[salviapages]

I recently retrained as a primary teacher, did placements in a few schools then worked as a supply teacher so seen a wide range and I've been shocked at the behaviour. Nothing like how I remember kids in my class at primary being.

Every teacher I've spoken to about this says behaviour has gotten worse over the years and I've seen mumsnetters say the same, including in the current thread about teachers leaving the profession.

So - why is this? Have we changed how we raise children? Have schools changed? Why the rise in bad behaviour?

Covid has not helped. Also parents not being able to say no to their children. Entitled parents and entitled children. They say they want their children to be free and make their own choices etc.......

Also look at how some parents behave and that is what the children see and how they will behave.

Parents don't say no and mean it.

Gentle parenting has a lot to answer for.

Children don’t fear their parents these days like they did many years ago.

Many parents give in to their children for an easy life

Child-rearing has changed

Parents always seem far too busy to have time for their children. They let them get away with stuff, just for a quiet life. There are no repercussions for bad behaviour.

I think partially down to a change in society that forces both parents into work, which adds extra stress to family life and less focus on parenting. If both parents don’t work this is extra financial stress.

And a greater sense of entitlement- kids know their rights these days and teachers are limited on how they are able to discipline children (which I do agree with even though it no doubt leads to poorer behaviour). Society has got a lot ‘softer’.

I find it quite a sweeping statement. Most parents are good people and we are really all trying.

Parenting has changed and there has been a societal shift in perception of teachers.

Technology has had an adverse impact on development.

Inclusion has also had an impact on behavioural standards. Previously children with clear additional needs would have been sent to special schools if not institutions.

The softy softy parenting approach.
Sometimes a child needs to be told. ' no that's naughty' that's no acceptable.
Or whatever.

Not oh sweetie please don't do that that

@Itshothothot

Gentle parenting has a lot to answer for.

Children don’t fear their parents these days like they did many years ago.

Many parents give in to their children for an easy life

Should children fear their parents?

The trend in recent years for parents to be seen as their child’s friend.

The internet parenting their child when parents are busy.

The fear of a pedophile on every street corner prompting parents to restrict their child’s freedom to go outside and learn to be independent.

Many children driven to school and driven everywhere so don’t have a sense of community as they don’t walk around their locality.

Educators restricted in how they can control children.

Parents not believing that little Johnny or Jill can misbehave as they are as good as gold, so won’t listen when the school says they have behaved badly.

Just some reasons I have pondered on.

Most children are just as well behaved as ever. The thing with bad behaviour is it only takes a tiny shift in the overall number behaving badly to have a big impact.

@WhereHasSpringSprungTo

The softy softy parenting approach. Sometimes a child needs to be told. ' no that's naughty' that's no acceptable. Or whatever.

Not oh sweetie please don't do that that

At last. A person who sees things my way (and yes I do have kids - 4 of them)

Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants.

Socrates

‘‘Twas ever this.

Or thus. Bloody autocorrect 😂

I can believe children used to be scared of their parents
People used to smack them

Parents rarely bring up their children these days - nurseries and childminders do this and they have to go by the book. The 'look' a parent can give, they simply can't.

I find this really interesting... I agree I think "gentle parenting" can lead to poor behaviour. Big difference between being afraid of your parents and understanding firm boundaries.

So much entitlement….entitled parents raising entitled children

@AppleKatie

Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants.

Socrates

‘‘Twas ever this.

Oh don't - the OP has done something so generous by giving people with such empty lives a wonderful opportunity to blather on about 'their day' and how superior their own parenting is to all current parenting. It's mean to ruin that for them!

Lack of discipline

@AppleKatie

Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants.

Socrates

‘‘Twas ever this.

Agree. I remember my mum and teacher having this conversation in the 1970s. It’s been an ongoing conversation on mn for the last 15 yrs.

Any youngest ds is 13 - his cohort are much better behaved than his eldest brothers so can’t all be downhill.
Maybe as a supply teacher op is getting the worst behaviour .

Huge range of reasons.
Some I experienced while a teacher : Drug use/ dealing by parents. The children were an after-thought, dragged along in the parent/s lifestyle. Sometimes the kids were used in the dealing. Some arrived Monday morning with pupils like saucers after they’d inhaled weed all weekend via passive smoking.
Chaotic homes. I don’t mean just messy, untidy. Chaos in nobody had a quiet space, always yelling, screaming, everything was spur of the moment so the kids often didn’t know if they’d have clothes, shoes to wear or even get to school until they arrived. Their MO was to yell first. Swear, shout at the teacher/TA/ playground assistant first because in their heads, they were going to get yelled at anyway.
Indulgent parents who never want to say no to their child,
Parents scared to upset their child. I’ve had more than one parent say they’d be scared their child wouldn’t love them if they told them off.
Parents trying too hard, parents not trying enough.
The majority are doing their best, want their kids to be happy, want their lives to be peaceful, undramatic.
I found the very loud, sweary, spitting kids I could calm down, relate to, get them working well most of the time.
The ones I worried about were the unusually, spookily quiet ones who seemed shut down. Much harder to reach.

IME it's the closure of special schools and the misunderstood and poorly executed idea of inclusion.

You have pupils who are in MS school who cannot for their own reasons cope. Many don't even have the support they need to at least attempt to manage it.

Behaviour is a form of communication and most of these pupils are communicating something.

In my experience teenage behaviour is a lot better now than in my youth! Not as much heavy drinking and casual sex.