The most ridiculous, pointless song lyrics you've ever heard

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

I've heard it many times before, as it's very 'radio-friendly', but they recently played 'Classic' by Adrian Gurvitz again on Radio 2. It's a nice enough tune, but what on earth are those lyrics about? How would you not be ashamed to actually sing these lyrics in public?! I really hope it was meant to be ironic - but then again, that's a very easy excuse to pull out when put on the spot and challenged to justify your insane songsmithery!!

Got to write a classic
Got to write it in an attic
Babe, I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

I was a street boy
And you was my best toy
Found it easy to annoy you
But you were different from the rest
And I loved you all the wrong ways
Now listen to my say
If it changed to another way
Would the difference make it
Would it be a classic
I gotta send it right away

Expressing my words
One page at a time
Then tearing them up
'Cause they never rhyme
Alone in my room
So far from your love
Whatever I write
That's not good enough

Also, this old one by Marty Wilde - cracking jolly standalone tune, but some numpty saw fit to add appalling random lyrics from the worst tourist information office in the world!

Taking a trip up to Abergavenny
Hoping the weather is fine
If you should see a red dog running free
Well, you know he's mine

A chase in the hills up to Abergavenny
I've got to get there and fast
If you can't go
Then I promise to show you a photograph

Ah, passing the time with paradise people
Paradise people are fine by me
Sunshine forever, lovely weather
Don't you wish you could be.....

I can kind of forgive this one by Guy Marks, as I suspect it was deliberately written to make no sense whatsoever – but even so….!

Oh, your red scarf matches your eyes
You closed your cover before striking
Father had the shipfitter blues
Loving you has made me bananas

Oh, you burnt your finger that evening
While my back was turned
I asked the waiter for iodine
But I dined all alone

There must be loads of them. Not just songs with weak lyrics or cliched rhymes that don't really say anything profound - but ones that sound suspiciously like they were written by a ZX Spectrum through the medium of a chain of at least nine other foreign languages and cause you to make a face like Jimmy Nail licking vinegar off a nettle
Your nominations?!

Katie Melua song

The closest thing to crazy,
the line .....

"Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen.

@Onthedunes

Katie Melua song

The closest thing to crazy,
the line .....

"Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen.

If you're 19 that really resonates though...

I once lived in a small terraced house and the neighbour used to play this over and over and over again. I think it was his sex song.

We get it almost every night
When that moon gets so big and bright
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody here is out of sight
They don't bark and they don't bite
They keep things loose, they keep things light
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
We like our fun and we never fight
You can't dance and stay uptight
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody here is out of sight
They don't bark and they don't bite
They keep things loose, they keep things light
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's
Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's
Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's
Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

What’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?

And I do have a fondness for these terrible lyrics:

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after wards
I don't want this weekend to end

“ Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P Diddy (hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city (let's go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't comin' back”

What does P diddy feel like in the morning? Definitely not a good oral hygiene brushing teeth with a bottle of jack

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…..,,

Limp Bizkit in their track 'Rollin'' throw in a random "Chocolate Starfish" early on. Still makes me chuckle

@Craftycorvid

‘Someone left my cake out in the rain, and I don’t think I can take it, ‘cos it took so long to make it, and I’ll never have that recipe again....oh yeah!’ And the rest of ‘McArthur Park’ is equally nutty, too.

I was going to say the same! Ridiculous lyrics

I hate hate hate

Tell me why-eye
I never wanna hear you say
“I want it that way”

It’s not just the impenetrable lyrics (although wtf, what “way”?), it’s the way they sound so smug and knowing when they sing it. 😑👎

Bohemian Rhapsody, but it's still one of the greatest ever musical creations, even with its ridiculous, pointless lyrics.

I may get piled on for this but the lyrics to Blurred Lines never struck me as rapey, just really shit. I honestly heard it and thought oh they've tried to rhyme a few words that sound roughly connected. I mean fucking hell:

you wanna hug me, what rhymes with hug me?

Followed by the literary genius of rhyming pimpin' with pimpin' 3 times

Yo, listen up here's a story
About a little guy
That lives in a blue world
And all day and all night
And everything he sees is just blue
Like him inside and outside
Blue his house
With a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
I have a blue house
With a blue window
Blue is the colour of all that I wear
Blue are the streets
And all the trees are too
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue
Blue are the people here
That walk around
Blue like my corvette its in and outside
Blue are the words I say
And what I think
Blue are the feelings
That live inside me
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
I have a blue house
With a blue window
Blue is the colour of all that I wear
Blue are the streets
And all the trees are too
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue
Blue are the people here
That walk around
Blue like my corvette, its in and outside
Blue are the words I say
And what I think
Blue are the feelings
That live inside me
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
I'm blue
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba d

Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called Yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh, what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
(Ooh) turn into something beautiful
(Aah) you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh, what a thing to do
'Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh, what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
(Ooh) turn into something beautiful
(Aah) and you know
For you, I'd bleed myself dry
For you, I'd bleed myself dry

It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for-
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

@Furries

What’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?

Um, you know that has a meaning...

@BlissfullyIgnorant

Limp Bizkit in their track 'Rollin'' throw in a random "Chocolate Starfish" early on. Still makes me chuckle

If I’m remembering my 14 year old album collection correctly the song rolling is on the album chocolate starfish and the hotdog flavoured water

If I’m remembering my 14 year old album collection correctly the song rolling is on the album chocolate starfish and the hotdog flavoured water

Yes it was from that album, I had it too (same age as well) 😁 my son now loves that song.

These aren't pointless in that I do like them, but Duran Duran were quite weak lyrically.

Hungry Like The Wolf manages to be weird and comical dick wavery:

I smell like I sound
I'm on the hunt I'm after you

Rio is nursery rhyme level sophistication:

Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land
And when she shines, she really shows you all she can
Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande

Wild Boys is full of gems like:

Your telephone is ringing while you're dancing in the rain

WHAT

And The Reflex is absolute nonsense:

And watching over lucky clover
Isn't it bizarre
Everything the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark

When Don McLean was asked the meaning of the words to “American pie” he replied “ they mean I’ll never need to work again.”

Hot dog
Jumping frog
Alberquerque

Classic love it! Not sure I can spell Alberquerque...

And wants to know what the chimney on her means (is old)

Chimney = black eye

I always thought Hey Ya was about a bloke who was a commitment phobe.

Followed by the literary genius of rhyming pimpin' with pimpin' 3 times

It's not offensive, but that irritating song by Mabel:

I got a new man in my business
And he all about his business
And his name ain't none of your business

She even laughs nervously at the end of the third 'business' to acknowledge her embarrassment at having just sung that dross!

Some real shockers here!!

Ah thank you @WeAreTheHeroes thought it might be something like that. Similar to giving someone a lamping!

Feel like a room without a roof.

Rooms normally have ceilings and I don't think anyone feels like a room, and if they did why would that make them happy?

I do think pop music reflects the drugs popular at the time.

A north east expression apparently.