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Original poster

To think 'keeping a house' is a sodding full time job?

283 replies

2022herewego · 18/01/2022 15:49

I work part time and have two DC under three, a dog and a cat.

I find looking after the house so difficult - the cooking (I try to cook from scratch 95% of the time as don't really like the taste of oven meals), cleaning, meal planning, shopping, laundry, general DIY, decluttering (have to do this regularly or we just have no space) keeping the garden looking just about okay and life admin all really gets on top of me and I feel like I'm totally drowning in it sometimes.

I know most of us have to work, sort childcare and run a house - so does everyone else find it 'all consuming' and never-ending or am I doing something wrong? I do try some hacks like batch cooking and the TOMM method but even so, I really struggle to keep on top of it all.

How does everyone else manage?

OP posts:
modgepodge · 18/01/2022 15:52

Agree. Feel like I’m drowning in mess constantly.

SalsaLove · 18/01/2022 15:55

I think a lot of women realise that there will be years, when their children are younger, that they can’t do everything. Certainly not without help. Be at peace with it.

GTAlogic · 18/01/2022 15:56

I share it with dh. He does almost all of the laundry and the food shopping and most of the cooking.

We have cheap and easy meals such as pizza, pasta and pesto, jacket spuds with cheese and beans, sausage or pie and mash with veg... the sort of thing that you can just chuck in and leave.

We don't clean every single day apart from just wiping the surfaces down and running around the house with the Hoover.

The garden is just grass and a few bushes so only needs cutting once a month.

We don't seem to have much life admin at all so it just gets done when it comes up.

FinallyFluid · 18/01/2022 15:57

I am retired and have a cleaner for two hours a week, an ironer, and someone to walk the dog.

Even still I could spend the whole day mooching around doing stuff, buggered if I know how I managed when I was full time or even when I went down to twenty hours.

You have my genuine sympathy.

tunnocksreturns2019 · 18/01/2022 15:58

Yes I think it’s really hard and I have to work hard to keep on top of it. I need to lower my standards probably (widowed parent, working, eldest has additional needs also).

GoodnightGrandma · 18/01/2022 15:59

Agree. You start at one end, get to the other, then need to start again. It’s never ending.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 18/01/2022 15:59

I have two DC under three, a dog and a cat

That’ll be your problem, then.

And yes, cut corners. All of the corners.

Ridiculousradish · 18/01/2022 16:00

I'm a single Mum with a 12 year old. I work on my feet 5 days a week, and am bloody knackered by the time I get home. The last thing I want to do is sort my house. I think the secret is less stuff. I'm working towards that as am so fed up with the clutter. I want the kind of house where you don't have to tidy for a day before someone comes over!

DarkCorner · 18/01/2022 16:04

I agree, it does feel like there's a lot to be done. I really need to declutter at the moment, I think being very organised and clutter free would help. I have a cleaner, just 2 hours a week but helps a lot. With the garden, I just have very low standards! Find some simple meals you all like and eat the same meal twice in a row where possible. Basically just have lower standards especially with tiny kids. It gets easier when they're in school on your days off and you actually get some focused time to get things done.

TheUsualChaos · 18/01/2022 16:07

Nope you're not missing anything, it's constant.
I think the cooking is one way where you could save time though. We batch cook but also have easier meals on the busiest days when we're both working that are just bung it in the oven from freezer, breaded chicken and oven chips etc. Life is too busy.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 18/01/2022 16:08

It will be hard with a job, two small children, a dog and a cat.

I don't think there's much you can do except cut corners, hire in help where possible and accept that it won't be perfect for a few years.

makingmiracles · 18/01/2022 16:09

Yep. I support people in an independent living setting and so I’m doing housework, laundry etc all day as well as supporting the person I’m with and shopping with/for them. Then I come home and in reality I don’t want to do it all again but with 5 of us in the house that’s what I have to do. By the time I’ve done baths and bed for the kids and finished clearing up and have a bath myself it’s 9.30pm then not long after it’s time for bed. It’s like Groundhog Day.

Bluebluemoon39 · 18/01/2022 16:15

YANBU.

It gets easier when the dc get older (and you leave their rooms as a tip bc tidying it every day gets you nowhere) and also as you get older and your standards just drop generally 😂.

Daily: I make the beds, give the bathrooms a quick wipe down and squirt of bleach and sweep/mop the kitchen and hall.

Bedding is change once a week/fortnight.
Things like dusting/hoovering maybe once every few weeks (I don't have carpet downstairs)
Windows/giving bathrooms a proper clean/properly dusting everywhere etc I only do about once every 6-8 weeks.

Concentrate on your children while they're young - I wish I'd just sacked off all the cleaning and played with them more when they were little, honestly OP - it goes so fast 😢

Laney39 · 18/01/2022 16:15

Just this month I've started cleaning and properly organising 1 or 2 rooms a week. Obviously still wiping kitchen, bathroom etc but properly concentrating on 1 room. It's really helped rather than me half arse trying to do it all!!

Exhausteddog · 18/01/2022 16:24

Urgh I feel you OP. I have older tween/teens and 2 cats and work ft and it still seems never ending. I swear everyone else in the house is mess blind. I'm constantly picking up other people's socks, sports kit, sweet wrappers, mugs, shoes etc (not the cats', to be fair to them) and trying to fit in cleaning before or after work,feeling annoyed with myself that the house isn't clean and tidy. DH cooks a few times a week but creates additional work by leaving the kitchen in a mess. I think he believes this is a 50-50 share of choresConfused

Caspianberg · 18/01/2022 16:27

Try having same meal over two days. Saves less cooking and prep time. Ie Bolognese with pasta day 1, leftover Bolognese either frozen or eaten day 2 with baked potatoes

FindingMeno · 18/01/2022 16:28

I don't manage. Just winging it really Smile

Farrandau · 18/01/2022 16:30

@JellyBabiesSaveLives

I have two DC under three, a dog and a cat

That’ll be your problem, then.

And yes, cut corners. All of the corners.

Yes, exactly. The house isn’t the issue.
krustykittens · 18/01/2022 16:31

My house only stays regularly clean and tidy now that kids are teenagers. We also have three dogs, a car, five ponies and four pet sheep! But they help with everything and between the three of us, it all gets done. My eldest painted the stairs last summer as she wanted to have a party and didn't like that they looked scruffy! When they are little, there is a lot you just have to let go. A messy house that is clean enough not to trigger an SS visit, a garden that is just grass, clean clothes, good food and kids and pets that get plenty of time and attention is a fantastic job as far as I am concerned.

MamaSquealus · 18/01/2022 16:33

Literally posted this in Housekeeping last week, after feeling like I was losing the plot! After the many helpful replies, it just comes down to "you can only do what you can do"...which is gutting, because I really thought everyone else knew something I didn't.

In the end I decided to hire a cleaner, get the garden sorted professionally, and try to simplify wherever I could...cooking takes up a hell of a lot of my time, and we don't have a dishwasher, so I decided to simplify meals (especially while I'm dieting haha)...tbf, it's all helped a great deal! Also, everyone says to lower standards...I'm struggling with this, but I really do think it's necessary tbh.

Good luck OP, you're not the only one that feels this way!

violetbunny · 18/01/2022 16:34

How much of it are you doing? Do you have a partner to share the load with, and are they doing their fair share? Just because you work part time doesn't automatically mean 100% of this stuff should fall to you, you should both have equal leisure time outside of work (whether that be domestic work, or working outside the home).

Tempusfudgeit · 18/01/2022 16:40

On having several small children, I was told: 'Lower your standards. Have you done that? Good, now lower them again.'

clarepetal · 18/01/2022 16:40

I have just got a cleaner.

Gasfire · 18/01/2022 16:41

I have friends who will clean after their kids go to bed, stopping at 10pm or so.

I accept that by Friday, my house will look like a shit tip. I will then rant a bit and we will give it a once over. Everyone puts their own clothes away and keeps own rooms tidy and hoovered. Beds once a week. Occasionally I will have a glorious blowout and stomp about the house, picking things up and shouting:"what's this doing here? Get. Rid. " "why have you got mouldy food in your drawers?"

Then I will ban food in rooms, until I forget again.

Cameleongirl · 18/01/2022 16:43

I thought it would get easier when my children were older…well, there was a sweet spot from 5-12, but now they’re a pair of messy teens.😂 I love them dearly, but I won’t miss DD’s stuff when she goes to university, she can make a room messy in minutes.