To think 'keeping a house' is a sodding full time job?

[2022herewego]

I work part time and have two DC under three, a dog and a cat.

I find looking after the house so difficult - the cooking (I try to cook from scratch 95% of the time as don't really like the taste of oven meals), cleaning, meal planning, shopping, laundry, general DIY, decluttering (have to do this regularly or we just have no space) keeping the garden looking just about okay and life admin all really gets on top of me and I feel like I'm totally drowning in it sometimes.

I know most of us have to work, sort childcare and run a house - so does everyone else find it 'all consuming' and never-ending or am I doing something wrong? I do try some hacks like batch cooking and the TOMM method but even so, I really struggle to keep on top of it all.

How does everyone else manage?

3 kids under 5
Don’t work
Cleaner 2 hours every other week.
I am forever cleaning, organising, decluttering, tidying, it looks… very average. & we have no garden or pets!
If I worked part time I just don’t know how id manage.

I'm a single parent work pt and in college. My children are 13 and 10.. I do about 90 minutes housework for the week. Each room gets 15 mins blitz once a week. Clean the kitchen after dinner everyday..takes 5 minutes.. clean the shower sink and toilet after a shower takes 5 minutes. There are weeks I'm so exhausted the 15 minutes for each room doesn't get done but because I generally keep on top of things it's not noticeable. As many others have said lower your standards.. you don't need a show house just a reasonably clean one 😃 I haven't ironed for about 13 years! You definitely need to have easy mid week meals I only cook from scratch at weekends but you don't have to have processed ready meals either. My children have to do their fair share too!

I have two kids under three- I remember how hard it was.
Putting a cat and a dog in the mix is increasing your burden.
Animals need a lot of work, dogs need walking, and the bring a lot of dirt into the house, increasing grime on the floors skirting boards.
Dont't understimate the impact of animals.

Honestly don't be a slave to the house.

I am a full-time uni student, have a 17 yr old and an 8 yr old, our own business which takes about 4 hours a week, 2 ponies which take probably 3 hours a day, a dog, and various other small animals at home plus a massive allotment that we have chickens on.

We eat properly but some nights it will be omelette, chips and salad. Or baked potatoes or a stir fry. I hoover every other day downstairs, and once a week upstairs. Bathrooms get done once a week, bedrooms dusted once a fortnight, downstairs once a week. Wash on once or twice every day. Big jobs like pulling furniture out might be once a month, ditto windows and skirting boards etc. Do little and often, keep it tidy day to day and have a fettle on a rainy sunday morning etc.

Housework is like a sponge, it absorbs whatever you put in it and sucks up your time. Ive had periods in my life when Ive had much more time than now, spent much more time doing housework and it's never really looked any different 🙃

I work full time as a primary school teacher. Kids are 13 and 16. Was part time up until
a year ago. It does get easier as kids get older although I still do the bulk of the work as they are so busy with school/clubs etc etc. Bulk cooking and freezing is a big one plus an online shop. Only iron what's essential. I'm fortunate to have a cleaner - it's my treat to myself!! But it's still constant & I'm always knackered - but reading your posts I feel less alone!

I'm in the same boat, work 3 days, 2 kids under 3 and 2 cats. I get a cleaner in once a month to do a top to bottom clean and my husband and I keep on top of the rest. I do more but I work a lot less hours. I do laundry every afternoon whilst my youngest naps and my oldest watches TV. I sweep downstairs a bit most days and wipe surfaces and tidy most days. My husband usually does bathtime which gives me time to run the hoover around or do another job. Life admin usually gets done Infront of the TV in the evening. It's hard and busy. My top tips are much less stuff. I'm ruthless. As soon as the my youngest has outgrown something I sell it or donate it. I regularly declutter and avoid getting new stuff where possible. The cleaner once a month is all we can afford but she's amazing and the house never gets awful because just as it's looking bad I know she's coming and it's fine again.

To add, I used to have a 'housework day' once a week. Spent all fucking day doing housework. Like 6 hours. Bigger house now, more bedrooms, an extra kid. Takes me 2 hours to get it to the same standard. Fuck knows what I was doing before.

Yes it is. Four kids and a dog and my house stays tidy for approximately ten minutes. I don't work but I feel like I never stop.

I would never clean during the week - only clear up the kitchen and occasionally wipe
Up the pubes from the floor

Lower standards and then lower them again. Aim for hygienic, but nothing more. I really like visiting my friends who have messy houses. The ones with tidy houses make me feel crap & like I can't invite them back. So by doing v little housework you're performing a kindness.

Bathroom floor I should add

Agree. I have to say I hate it. Im day 2 of my maternity leave waiting for baby and I feel like I'm doing more than ever just because being in the house and not at work creates more stuff ?

If you need to declutter that often, you have way too much stuff.

As far as I can see, there’s a sweet spot between retirement and decrepitude when your house stays tidy unless you let grand children in.

The most stretched I have ever been was working part time with young school aged children. (I even had a cleaner). I only worked part-time so everything could be perfect.

Suited and booted by 7.45am. Both DC taken to school by 8.55. At work by 9.15 - worked like stink. Finished at 2.30, dashed home and put in laundry, hung the wet stuff, unloaded the dishy, etc, at school gate by 3.35. Snacks and activities until 6ish or play dates. Helped with reading/homework, cooked tea/supper somewhere amongst it all, baths, bed, winding down, tidying up, everything ready for the morning.

Went full-time after 2 years, increased the cleaner's hours, switched to supermarket home delivery, got an au-pair -who did the children's laundry, tidied their rooms, cooked their tea, dealt with after school stuff although I often picked up in the way home. It was significantly easier not to come home until 6ish! Didn't make any more money for a few years but quality of life was better.

@IDidntKnowItWasAParty

I feel exactly like you OP. Wake up, get DC ready for, and to, school; start work, rarely any lunch break per se, finish work (hopefully) and DC home, then homework, dinner, bedtime routine, then make our dinner, then basic chores (sweep, dishes (no dishwasher), laundry, tidying, preparing for morning) - then bed, and it starts all over again. Weekend if mostly entertaining DC, running to DC clubs, parties etc and trying to clean the house. But when is there actually time to look after the house properly? and life admin like finances and all that?? I've not found it in my life yet. So I'm constantly behind in everything, house is just hygeinic but a cluttered messy disorganised shit tip. No way can we afford a cleaner unfortunately. Then you get the grandparents guilt tripping because you dont ring them often enough and they cannot understand why you are so busy arghhhh

This is me!! I am part-time but have my 3yo on my days “off” so can manage things like laundry and running to the post office but not cleaning, decluttering or anything that requires more than ten minutes’ concentration, and making phone calls is impossible. I’m just hoping that once they’re all at school I will manage to tackle the massive build-up on my non-working days!

I feel that the same. My house was decent before the baby... I have too much stuff but could manage it. Not now. I look at families having nice lunches at the weekend, days our, holidays... And I think, when do they do the housework?

I’m winging it too. Only one room at a time is ever tidy. It’s draining but I’m don’t stress about it as much. It’s annoying but no one cares if they walk in to your house and see a plate full of dishes, the same way that the world won’t end if they get done the next day.

I suppose its only all consuming if you let it. My house is clean and tidy. I have a cleaner for a couple of hours once a week which keeps on top of general cleanliness. I still get round to grimy tasks once in a blue moon. Having a cleaner forces us to tidy up.

We are constantly on at our 11yo to tidy up.

WFH has made all the difference to meal prep and laundry. Today I took out the precooked minced lamb, carrots and mash and assembled shepherd's pie at lunchtime, stuck it in the oven as I went to collect the dc at 5pm. That's tea for tomorrow too.

I made loads of effort at the weekend which sees us through til Wednesday. Thursday I will wing it from the freezer: chilli and rice this week. Friday is easy baked potatoes as we have 3 different activities for the dc that all run into each other.

I cook elaborate meals at the weekend and on my one day off. When cooking I try and do several things. Yesterday I made a soup which is nice for lunch and some gets frozen.

Laundry gets done during the day time. Its 10mins to put a load out and then we are constantly folding and putting away dry laundry.

I have no time for DIY or sorting out my life admin. It gets done when it has to be done. I send myself emails to remind me at the start of my work day. Today I paid scout camp. Home life encroaching on work is fine because I often work late as well.

Garden is dh's job. He does very little. We need to do more.

I work for myself and choose my own hours. I have three school age children.

Today I gave myself the 'day off'. Sure I didn't do any paid work (I'm working all day tomorrow), but I spent the entire day just doing housework and life stuff.

Morning chaos getting 3 x kids ready for school.

School run.

Got home, changed bedding on all four beds (inc bunk beds, so mega faff).

Emptied dishwasher and refilled it.

Emptied dryer, put another wash on, put dry laundry away.

Swept kitchen floor and ran hoover round living room.

Drove to supermarket and did the weekly shop.

Popped into Ikea near supermarket for some bedroom storage (this was the highlight of my day, I love Ikea!).

Came home and unpacked everything and put it away.

Made myself some late lunch, sat down with a cup of tea and ate it while I cancelled a holiday and rebooked a different one.

Then it was time for the school run again.

I used to do all that and work full time and I honestly don't know how the fuck I ever managed it.

I don't even work (have two with sen and finding it hard to find work around school and their needs) and find it hard keeping on top of the house at the minute. Usually like to be organised and I am pretty house proud but finding it overwhelming. Dp works long hours too so I'm just bloody exhausted.

I can't clean in the evenings as I find my kids are more full on by the evenings as need more care and attention.

I try and get up by 5:30am to clean before they get up but I'm struggling to get up at the minute.

You'd think I would have time to clean when they are at school, often I do but last week was a full week of appointments, phone calls, waiting for phone calls and other stress.

I admire working mums. I can't keep on too being a sahp/carer at the minute. I'm still fatigued from having covid which isn't helping.

Feel the same. Four dc between 1 and 10, and a dog. Endless clutter. Endless mess. Mud on sofa. Glitter everywhere. Teddies on every surface. It’s tiring. I just do a quick tidy round, make beds and hoover sitting room, wipe down kitchen. Weekly cleaner does rest.
I do think to myself that this stuff isn’t important… but a messy house is depressing. So the endless battle, internal and external, continues

Got two small DC (6 months and 3yo) and a cat and I seriously struggle. We have a cleaner once a week and the house looks gloriously clean for about an hour then the 3 yo comes back home and it’s like the cleaner was never here.

I don’t mind the mess so much but the judgmental comments I overheard from MiL once does my head in.

You need low standards.

I work full time and we scrape by on the 'housekeeping'. Basically I have a cleaner for 2 hours a week who hoovers/mops through the downstairs, cleans the bath and loo, wipes down the sides in the kitchen and plumps up the sofa cushions. That seems to be about it.

And that's about all that gets done. I cook from scratch, we have a dishwasher and I throw laundry in/tumble dry as and when required.

Low standards.

@megletthesecond

Yanbu. My house is even messier now I have teens. It's not like I can tidy up when they're asleep anymore.

I just want them to go to uni in 4/6 years so I can tidy up properly again.

Why aren't THEY tidying up? OP yes it IS never ending but also social media makes it seem that everyone else has it easy. There's lots of ways to simplify. Meal planning/shopping for example just make the same things on a biweekly rota. Sorted