Dealt with a guy serving me in a shop who made me feel like shit, and later realised he was a wannabe PUA

[parchedjanuary]

I'm actually so angry about what happened in the shop that I currently am incapable of explaining it here!!!

Arghhhh!!!

I will try and write a more coherent post tomorrow.

Basically, a local shop that sells very specific items. I went in last week. The guy that owns the shop served me. He was very helpful.

I went in again a few days ago. A new employee was working and the owner wasn't there. The new guy was incredibly rude, didn't help me at all, but equally told me how pretty he thought I was, asked me way to many personal questions, which I was so shocked about I stupidly answered. Did constant negging followed by weirdo complements. Then being really nice and friendly. But equally unhelpful. I felt terrible, couldn't wait to get out, kept thinking wtf???

I got home and remembered the thread on MN about women being approached by men/boys practicing their PUA (pick up artist) game.... and looking into it a bit more, I think this might have been what he was practicing.

I'm still so angry I can't even express what happened!!!

I do intend to go back in to the shop and hopefully see the owner and tell him what his employee is up to when left alone.

Sorry this post makes no sense at all. I'm just so sad and angry about it!!!

I will attempt another post with a better explanation when I'm a bit more calm

'That would be a risky strategy for the man in my case, as they are risking having their bollocks'

Oh sorry misread!

You've never actually done this though?

In all honesty I've told my DDs when walking to/from school.

No one should be approaching them when there are loads of other people about.
Anyone (man) who comes up and starts convo or asks question is already behaving iffy whatever they say.

I've given them a good response, then GTFO.

IME across the board, whether fighting brother once he passed puberty (unspoken agreement first fight when he puberty was the last), male friends done for whatever reason we cooked up, random men in clubs etc doing that random pick up carry type stuff, dodgy/aggressive men.

Every time they were just overwhelming much stronger, also faster, they have really strong hands and good reach etc.

Physically assaulting a bloke unless you're a women's cage fight champ or similar is frankly imo incredibly dangerous.

Also IME as someone who starts blunt or quickly gets there.
I've been.
Shoved across pub.
Yelled in my face at to 'take it outside'.
Have had pints poured over my head more than once.
Received a tirade of verbal abuse, more than once when on street they've followed me yelling the whole time.
Been threatened with violence.
Probably more can't remember!

I've also been punched in the face by a drunk man just walked up punched me at bus stop.
Ummm.

Yeah I wouldn't do it and I'm one for doing the polite careful extract self thing.

Have to say the blunt approach has never resulted in violence or threats though

Well it has for me, so I guess you have just been extremely lucky, or have only been approached by physically cowardly men. It is definitely not good blanket advice, men do not appreciate being publicly humiliated by a woman, IME.

ChangeChangey

Too right. Always a poster who says easy just physically assault him!*

Totally appalling advice.

I’m sorry this happened OP it sounds icky and horrible.

My first boyfriend used to do this (30 years ago so way before that stupid book came out, I think it was just his horrible misogynistic unconfident personality) when I was 17.

It still makes me really sad/angry, if I ever think about it, that I let him destroy my confidence about myself. It took YEARS (decades) to undo, and we were only in a very casual relationship for about 3 months!!

Honestly this thread has reminded me how godawful it was and how moronic these men are

Hope you’re ok