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Original poster

Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

238 replies

delightly · 10/12/2021 16:10

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

OP posts:
JingleJingleAllTheWay · 10/12/2021 16:12

I would tell him he's right but that he has to keep it magical for his younger sibling.
It is devastating but they don't believe forever. Sad

Wendied2021 · 10/12/2021 16:12

He's 8. Its time. He's not daft.

He needs to understand that his role now is not to spoil it for his younger sibling.

Comedycook · 10/12/2021 16:14

When my Ds was ten...he came home and told me he realised it was me and Santa wasn't real and said "go on mum, you can tell me, I know he's not real". So I basically said yes he was right, it was me. He looked horrified and told me he was just bluffing and he had still believed until I admitted it!

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IAAP · 10/12/2021 16:15

We’ve never had the conversation she’s 14.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 10/12/2021 16:16

It is devastating but they don't believe forever

"Devastating"? Confused

Lushplease · 10/12/2021 16:18

My dc are 10&12 and I'm still evasive if anything's mentioned about Santa not being real.
DS - "I know it's you Mum. Santa is in no way real".
Me- Oh, are you sure? ( Change subject).

I've never confirmed anything and it has kept a little spark of magic imo.

Panacotta · 10/12/2021 16:18

I just say, with a very calm, straight face: "well you can believe whatever you like, but I know he's real" And shrug. "Up to you... you might not get any presents from him if you don't believe he exists..."

orangechairs · 10/12/2021 16:19

We've never said Santa is real.... we tell the kids it's magical.

User12398712 · 10/12/2021 16:20

I hope he didn't literally dissect the easter bunny! Shock

Wrensrobinsandsparrows · 10/12/2021 16:20

@Panacotta

I just say, with a very calm, straight face: "well you can believe whatever you like, but I know he's real" And shrug. "Up to you... you might not get any presents from him if you don't believe he exists..."
I don’t get punishing children for a totally normal realisation process.
Theworldisquiethere · 10/12/2021 16:23

My 9yo is starting to suspect Santa’s not real. My response is ‘Santa doesn’t come to people who say he’s not real!’ Said in a very lighthearted way, I can’t bring myself to confirm in case he’s bluffing like a PP said but he does know that he’ll be getting a stocking full of presents anyway given that ‘Santa’ still comes to me and my siblings, all adults, just conveniently leaves the presents at my mums house for her to give us!

toastofthetown · 10/12/2021 16:23

He’s eight, it’s not surprising he’s figured out it’s impossible a man at the North Pole manufactures presents for every child and distributes them in a single night aided by flying reindeer.

If you are worried about upsetting him by confirming it, then why not something more non committal like “oh that’s an interesting thought”, “what do you think?”

PamDenick · 10/12/2021 16:23

I stand by my ‘I believe in the magic if Christmas’…
It’s a bit smug but it helps them join in with the conspiracy…

Shallwegoforawalk · 10/12/2021 16:25

Devastating? Oh get a grip HmmHmmHmm it's a perfectly normal part of them growing up.

SoupDragon · 10/12/2021 16:27

When they question it, it is time to come clean. Don't "insult" him by telling him he's wrong. My older two had to pretend in order to keep it alive for DD - they enjoyed it!

ThePlantsitter · 10/12/2021 16:28

@PamDenick

I stand by my ‘I believe in the magic if Christmas’… It’s a bit smug but it helps them join in with the conspiracy…
Yep. I actually made 10 yo dd cry a bit (in a good way) by telling her this. I think the actual magic of christmas - a bunch of people conspiring to make kids have a lovely wondrous time - is actually nicer than the fakery itself.
Whataday21 · 10/12/2021 16:29

It's a relief, surely. Saves a fortune on teeth etc.

RuthsRedDress · 10/12/2021 16:30

A friend of mine has a 15 year old she's still lying to, tells her if you don't believe then you won't get 😂

Who knows what her 15 year old thinks, it's crazy to me that people aren't just a bit more honest when their kids grow up.

Warblerinwinter · 10/12/2021 16:31

@Lushplease

My dc are 10&12 and I'm still evasive if anything's mentioned about Santa not being real. DS - "I know it's you Mum. Santa is in no way real". Me- Oh, are you sure? ( Change subject).

I've never confirmed anything and it has kept a little spark of magic imo.

My dc are 28 and 25…I told them when they were about 7-8 respectively and asked, that if they didn’t say they believed in Santa there would be no Christmas stocking. If they have Christmas with me, I hold out there stockings just in front and wait for those magic words 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 My eldest found out by coming into my study during my annual PTA duty of replying to all the school kids dear Santa letters. I also told him that if he didn’t believe he could jolly well sit down at hte desk and help forge Santa’s signature then 🤷🏼‍♀️
ANameChangeAgain · 10/12/2021 16:32

My two are teens, so of course they've known for years. I always used to tell them that if they said, (particularly in front of the younger sibling) that they didn't believe he wouldn't come. Now they are older they just enjoy rolling their eyes and playing along.

nottoday3000 · 10/12/2021 16:33

Wait... what? I know him!!!!!!

SoupDragon · 10/12/2021 16:35

@ANameChangeAgain

My two are teens, so of course they've known for years. I always used to tell them that if they said, (particularly in front of the younger sibling) that they didn't believe he wouldn't come. Now they are older they just enjoy rolling their eyes and playing along.
Yeah, mine are like that and two of them are in their 20s now 😂 I still make them put their childhood sacks out in front of the fireplace on Christmas Eve.
GreenClock · 10/12/2021 16:36

I wouldn’t try to continue the charade now that he’s guessed, but I’d speak to him about not spoiling it for his younger sibling for the next few years.

I understand the sadness OP. It feels like a milestone.

ohreallynotreally · 10/12/2021 16:37

My daughter stopped believing when she was 5…she then proceeded to tell me that she had told her younger brother who was 3 ! she didn’t want me to worry about him believing in someone that wasn’t real! 🙄

WatchMyLips · 10/12/2021 16:40

@ohreallynotreally

My daughter stopped believing when she was 5…she then proceeded to tell me that she had told her younger brother who was 3 ! she didn’t want me to worry about him believing in someone that wasn’t real! 🙄
Aw, that's really quite sweet
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