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Original poster

Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

238 replies

delightly · 10/12/2021 16:10

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/12/2021 22:57

Are you easily boggled?

bellamountain · 11/12/2021 23:01

I think it only really dawned on me that Santa isn't real when I had my own kids and had to do the 'Santa visit' myself!

Toooldforthisshit49 · 11/12/2021 23:09

I remember when my eldest was 9 she came home from school and asked if Santa was real as older kids had said he wasn't. I could tell she didn't want me to say it was true so I told her that yes he was real but only came until you were 9 then mummies and daddies bought you presents as Santa had to get for all the new babies and younger children, she was delighted and loved to tell her younger brother that Santa would still come to him as he was only 6.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds 8 year olds
Notenoughchocolateomg · 11/12/2021 23:28

My son is 9 and still believes. He's quite mature for his ago but also quite innocent. I do think this is his last year believing. I was 8 when I was told santa wasn't real by my mum. I WAS devastated. I was not ready at all.

justasking111 · 11/12/2021 23:33

Five year old told at school. Just asked if he thought daddy would spend that much money (he's a known tightwad 😀). he agreed and believed for a few more years. All three have never admitted it openly just incase 😂

xmaswiththeinlaws · 12/12/2021 00:04

I asked my 12 year old if he wanted the elves out this year and he said he did. One fell out of the bag as I got them out of the room. He said "you lied to me!" I asked him if he'd preferred me to have been honest about it and he replied "actually no, it was fun"

ponkydonkey · 12/12/2021 00:23

I just do the very exaggerated " what how can you say that? every one believes" with a wry smile and a wink

It's not about truth it's about the magic

Teen still goes along with it 😀😀

CalamityCat · 12/12/2021 02:13

Haven't had the conversation with just turned 11yo dd although I suspect she knows. Santa only brings the stockings in our house, which is how it was for me growing up too. DSis and I used to still get them when back from Uni although Mum gave up waiting for us to go to bed before her and left them outside the bedroom doors so we just "ignored" them until we got up in the morning Xmas Wink😂

CelestiaNoctis · 12/12/2021 02:24

Nah man, keep the lie. I'm never admitting it. Also tell him to not say stuff like that around younger kids cos it upsets them and if he wants to talk about it again then wait until the other kid is not around.

Greygreenblue · 12/12/2021 04:02

If I had an 8 year old who was not questioning Santa I would be worried. By then someone at school will have spilled the beans. And they’re good little sleuths - at 4 my daughter noticed Nana and Santa used the same wrapping paper (i said i guess santa shops at Aldi too…).
My kids are now 5 and 7 and their 8 year old cousin recently announced he is not real. I then heard my kids going through a long list of why Santa couldn’t possibly be real… then decide he must be magic. They want to believe, but I don’t think it will come as a shock to them when they do decide to listen to their cousins/friends/logic

MeanderingGently · 12/12/2021 04:45

Bloody bonkers, all this lying to kids. My children always knew Santa wasn't real, right from the start....I promised myself I wouldn't lie to them, and never did.

However, Christmas was always magical, we still talked in terms of "Santa's presents" (which arrived on the bed in the night, as opposed to relatives' presents which went under the tree) and my children loved Christmas as their most special time. It just meant that, as the years went by, there was no "conversation" to be had, nor a massive, devastating (!) disappointment on their behalf. I have never understood why parents do this to their kids...

Tabbacus · 12/12/2021 06:55

@MeanderingGently

Bloody bonkers, all this lying to kids. My children always knew Santa wasn't real, right from the start....I promised myself I wouldn't lie to them, and never did.

However, Christmas was always magical, we still talked in terms of "Santa's presents" (which arrived on the bed in the night, as opposed to relatives' presents which went under the tree) and my children loved Christmas as their most special time. It just meant that, as the years went by, there was no "conversation" to be had, nor a massive, devastating (!) disappointment on their behalf. I have never understood why parents do this to their kids...

I've never met anyone who was devastated when they found out, or feel betrayed by being lied to. Personally I don't see why parents don't, each to their own.
DilyteGelyte · 12/12/2021 08:28

Congratulations, your son is not stupid.

Novasmummy · 12/12/2021 08:38

Yes my 8 year olds been doing the same. I said to somebody in her ear shot that "I just love all the Christmas magic" and she said "well you shouldn't there's no such thing as magic." We have already had a heavy line of enquiry regarding the tooth fairy, so I think the jig is probably up

TimeToStop · 12/12/2021 09:26

@bellamountain

I think it only really dawned on me that Santa isn't real when I had my own kids and had to do the 'Santa visit' myself!
Seriously? HOW?
landing223 · 12/12/2021 11:16

On Christmas Eve me and my daughter out out a little glass inf sherry and a mince pie for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and when she goes to bed I rearrange the loose (false) coals on the fire and put some on the floor and I sprinkle ‘Reindeer Dust’ (oats and sprinkle stuff you can buy). We love doing this for Santa and his Reindeer. We will still be doing it this year. My daughter is almost 22 years old. She is at University. She has a boyfriend. We have never had the conversation about Santa.

I hope she still believes 🤣🤣😂😂. We will carry on regardless

Negligee · 12/12/2021 13:06

@bellamountain

I think it only really dawned on me that Santa isn't real when I had my own kids and had to do the 'Santa visit' myself!
What?
FauxPsychic · 12/12/2021 13:36

With all the hanging onto "the magic of Christmas" sales pitch they do, it seems parents need (their version of) magic more than their kids do.

Each to their own but everyone has their own magical Christmas. Santa/Father Christmas is a non-factor or a tiny part of it and it goes unnoticed if you do other "magical" things.

Dare to step out of the box and see different ways of life.

clarehhh · 12/12/2021 19:05

Usually 7/8 just get him to join in for younger one mine loved that.

Createausernametoday · 12/12/2021 20:29

“Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...”

What’s that? I’m voting labour🤣🤣

Createausernametoday · 12/12/2021 21:21

Totally agree telling them at an early age. What’s the point in all the lies and deceit? I’ve just told my 8 month DD that Santa I’d made up and tbh she didn’t seem in the slightest bit upset. I’m glad we’ve had the chat

Yuledo · 12/12/2021 23:05

I've never met anyone who was devastated when they found out, or feel betrayed by being lied to.

My son was upset at the time as he felt a bit of a fool for believing it and he actually said that if we’d lied about that, what else had we lied about.
However
Now he’s an adult he is really grateful that we did the magic of Christmas for him. He wouldn’t have changed it all for the world, as he has such good memories.

Negligee · 13/12/2021 00:35

@FauxPsychic

With all the hanging onto "the magic of Christmas" sales pitch they do, it seems parents need (their version of) magic more than their kids do.

Each to their own but everyone has their own magical Christmas. Santa/Father Christmas is a non-factor or a tiny part of it and it goes unnoticed if you do other "magical" things.

Dare to step out of the box and see different ways of life.

That’s always what leaps out of these threads for me — it’s got nothing to do with the children themselves, it’s to do with ideas of ‘innocence’ and ‘magic’ projected on them by adults acting out their own needs who might need to consider why they require their children to perform a specific version of childhood for them.

The posters on this thread who proclaim proudly that their adult children still ‘believe’ and consider it some kind of victory that they’ve glossed over the Santa Claus issue sound quite mad to me.

stinkycheeseman · 13/12/2021 01:03

My son said 'there is no Father Christmas, my dad goes out and buys it all'
Shock his dad coughs up a bit, but over the year I stash ideas and choose his presents. It's more believable some random elf comes down his chimney then it's his dad orchestrates it all

Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco · 13/12/2021 01:38

My son asked me if Santa was real or if it was just me and I said “I can tell you the truth if you’re sure you really want to know, but bear in mind once you know you can’t unknow the answer!” He decided he didn’t really want to know for sure either way for another couple of years!