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Original poster

Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

238 replies

delightly · 10/12/2021 16:10

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

OP posts:
RevolvingPivot · 10/12/2021 16:41

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WeAllHaveWings · 10/12/2021 16:41

If you don't believe then he doesn't come.

Ds(17) still believes 🎅

Donotgogentle · 10/12/2021 16:41

My 8 year old ds has just said the same, I confirmed he was right. Tbh he’s not an idiot and he likes science so it’s completely fine for him to have worked it out.

I have told him he’ll be in serious trouble if he ruins it for anyone else.

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ddl1 · 10/12/2021 16:41

I honestly don't think it's usually such a big deal. Children enjoy fantasy, so let him enjoy Santa as a fantasy! Some children get very upset when they find that Santa/ the tooth fairy/ the Easter Bunny/ etc. aren't real, but I think that most continue to enjoy them as a pretence - just as you don't have to think that Cinderella or Harry Potter is real to enjoy the fairytale. I would, however, ask him not to talk about it in front of his brother, in case he upsets him.

Livebythecoast · 10/12/2021 16:41

I always said when my DD (17 now) asked me outright, I would tell her the truth. That day came walking home from school one day when she was 10. She'd obviously heard kids talking at school and asked me outright so I confirmed it, Santa, Easter bunny and tooth fairy. She asked lots of questions and I answered them honestly. I think I was more upset than her that she didn't believe anymore but I felt it was best to be honest rather than continue the lie. It's magical when they do believe but it has to end at some point sadly.

BlackMamba99 · 10/12/2021 16:43

It can be devastating for some children,some are more sensitive than others or believe more than others..some really miserable people on here. You're not a child long, magic and fun is over so fast and it's different for everyone but you either lie well or you tell them the truth in a way that suits your child. My parents made Christmas so magical for me I really believed in Santa as well as fairies,eater bunny etc and when it ended it was sad, for me losing Santa was devastating as I really thought he was real and was told in an off hand way. It's just a part of Christmas that for some kids is suddenly different and it upsets them

gannett · 10/12/2021 16:45

Congratulations on having an intelligent child with critical thinking capabilities, OP!

trumpisagit · 10/12/2021 16:46

I would have a proper conversation about yes you buy presents etc, but a lot of people like to believe (or pretend to believe) and its important not to spoil it for them.
Don't lie, or threaten no presents, or be evasive.

Lushplease · 10/12/2021 16:46

@Donotgogentle

My 8 year old ds has just said the same, I confirmed he was right. Tbh he’s not an idiot and he likes science so it’s completely fine for him to have worked it out.

I have told him he’ll be in serious trouble if he ruins it for anyone else.

What has science got to do with it?Grin
GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 10/12/2021 16:47

EIGHT is a pretty normal time to stop believing in Santa. I was delighted when my DD said she still believed at 13. I thought 'awww, how magical.' Smile

She has told me since though that she stopped believing at 9-ish.

Crushed I was, CRUSHED I tellz ya! Grin

HollowTalk · 10/12/2021 16:47

My daughter was really upset when she found out and said, "Next thing you'll tell me the Easter bunny isn't real." I never even knew she believed in the Easter bunny! She could tell from my face and bawled. It did make me wonder why we tell them these things.

santasgnome · 10/12/2021 16:47

What's all this talk about Santa not being real? My kids know he's real because they know I'm too useless to pull Christmas off the way Santa does... I'll never back down

MrsRussell · 10/12/2021 16:47

Had the conversation with the Junior Engineer last weekend.

In a very real sense, we are all Santa. The guy in the red suit is a symbol - of the idea that the magic at Christmas is made by all of us, working together, all quite independent of each other but because we all want it to be special it makes the magic happen.
It doesn't make it not magic. It's just that when you stop believing in the Santa who comes down your chimney, you start to /become/ Santa - and that's a different kind of magic altogether.

Or in other words - yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Donotgogentle · 10/12/2021 16:47

Flying reindeers!

SnekkinOnDown · 10/12/2021 16:48

I told my kids that we are all Father Christmas. That he isn't any one person but rather all of us that know he isn't real but cost to believe in him anyway to create Christmas magic. I told them they had every right to not believe and they didn't HAVE to..... but if they choose to carry on they can get lots of joy and happiness from doing nice things for other people. Doesn't matter whether it's buying a little gift, helping in the kitchen, visiting relatives or just being nice to each other. Father Christmas is a charitable state of mind and helping to make certain special for others.

My kids are 25,22,18 and 14. They all choose to believe and our Christmas are STILL wonderful. So we are absolute true believers

SmellyOldOwls · 10/12/2021 16:48

At least you know he won't go off to high school and end up being that kid who still believes in Santa 😬

fournonblondes · 10/12/2021 16:49

@delightly

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

You have a flair for drama. I thought he said something much worse.😳
GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 10/12/2021 16:50

@BlackMamba99

It can be devastating for some children,some are more sensitive than others or believe more than others..some really miserable people on here. You're not a child long, magic and fun is over so fast and it's different for everyone but you either lie well or you tell them the truth in a way that suits your child. My parents made Christmas so magical for me I really believed in Santa as well as fairies,eater bunny etc and when it ended it was sad, for me losing Santa was devastating as I really thought he was real and was told in an off hand way. It's just a part of Christmas that for some kids is suddenly different and it upsets them
100% agree with this. ^

As you say, some people are a bit miserable. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun! Smile

The ones who make me feel a bit Shock are the ones who tell their child Santa is not real when the child is just 3 or 4. WTF? Confused Why do that to a child? WHY? Confused

Mommabear20 · 10/12/2021 16:50

I don't understand why believing in Santa is seen as weird after a certain age but god is normal 🤷‍♀️ I'll encourage my kids to believe in Santa for as long as I can!

santasgnome · 10/12/2021 16:50

@HollowTalk

My daughter was really upset when she found out and said, "Next thing you'll tell me the Easter bunny isn't real." I never even knew she believed in the Easter bunny! She could tell from my face and bawled. It did make me wonder why we tell them these things.
I said about elf on the shelf to my dd and she was devastated... Santa is real and always will be
GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 10/12/2021 16:51

@santasgnome

What's all this talk about Santa not being real? My kids know he's real because they know I'm too useless to pull Christmas off the way Santa does... I'll never back down
Grin
TheCloudBotherer · 10/12/2021 16:55

Surely by that age most kids have figured out that it's not actually real and that it's just a nice story at Christmastime?
It's normal to figure it out, you don't have to change anything.

notshawrun · 10/12/2021 16:56

I am not sure dc have ever believed in it, to be honest, I always got the feeling that they were going along with it! But they are open minded about magic. One told me they were certain they had seen a witch fly past the window, there was no doubt at all, she was on a broomstick. And that a ghost visited us to warn us about covid (this was before covid). So when they said "santa isn't real is he" recently I sad he was definitely real and left it at that. I never lie to them other than about santa.

JacquelineCarlyle · 10/12/2021 16:58

I've always said I can neither confirm nor deny - it's up to them what they believe but whatever they decide to believe, they were not allowed to soil the magic for other children so had to keep their beliefs to themselves.

It's worked so far and the older two play along (15 and 14)

Babyvenusplant · 10/12/2021 16:58

@IAAP

We’ve never had the conversation she’s 14.
😮😮