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Original poster

Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

238 replies

delightly · 10/12/2021 16:10

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 10/12/2021 18:23

Wow I'd be impressed he is so clever to figure all that out!

birdglasspen2 · 10/12/2021 18:26

Now I understand when people say lying about Santa is damaging...it is if when the magic wears off and your child asks you "Is he real?" and you say "Yes" and force them to believe ....bizarre thing to do!?? Kids can enjoy Christmas with out all the fakery and pretence... honest they can!

Salome61 · 10/12/2021 18:27

I think my daughter was seven when she asked me when I was reading her bed time story, I said of course he's real.

When I went downstairs I asked my husband to dress as Santa (we had the suit for a party) and pose as though he was going back up the chimney, I took a photo of him with our old instant camera.

When I showed her in the morning she cried - and said he had 'evil' eyes! My husband never really got over it.

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BonesInTheOcean · 10/12/2021 18:29

@JingleJingleAllTheWay

I would tell him he's right but that he has to keep it magical for his younger sibling. It is devastating but they don't believe forever. Sad
devastating really??
Lucyinthesky07 · 10/12/2021 18:34

My eldest never did believe.
He never had that level of understanding (very severely autistic and non verbal).
He's a young adult now, and still has no idea about the magic of Christmas.
I'm so thankful to have experienced it with my younger children, but of all the things my eldest missed out on, I think that was one of the ones that broke me the most. It still does to be honest.

Pixiedust1234 · 10/12/2021 18:40

My first born told me that Santa didn't exist when she was 8 so I told her that only believers get presents from him so she shouldn't get upset if her little sister got presents and she didn't.....at 26 years of age she still believes in Santa!! Grin

GinPin2 · 10/12/2021 18:41

@CharityDingle , Thank you Smile

SantasGoodLittleGirl · 10/12/2021 18:42

I hope you have congratulated your son for seeing through the bullshit and calling it. Sound man. Now he can keep playing the game until his brother reaches similar conclusions.

@Lucyinthesky07 Get him on the Santa tracker! Santa!

balboacoffee · 10/12/2021 18:44

My 10 year old I think knows it's not really but is to scared to admit it incase she doesn't get presents and a lot of my parents friends with kids the same age have all said the exact same thing. But this will definitely be the last Christmas she believes.

speakout · 10/12/2021 18:51

The magic never dies.
A slow transition from fantasy to myth, no real defining moment of non existance, more an easy transition from fantasical being to exciting archetype.

AlternativePerspective · 10/12/2021 18:52

What do you mean he isn’t real? Says who? Grin

I don’t think we ever did the Easter bunny and DS didn’t want to part with his teeth so that took care of the tooth fairy.

Elf on the shelf wasn’t a think when mine was little thank Christ but I would never have allowed that one to take hold, and neither would I have felt obliged to tel him to preserve the magic or whatever as it’s nothing more than a marketing ploy born of instagram about 5 minutes ago and is total bollocks. Not in any way comparable to Santa.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/12/2021 18:54

I would neither confirm nor deny. I tend to say things like "do you think?" Or "people believe different things".

While I am certain my 10yo know perfectly well that santa isn't real, on christmas eve she will want to believe it might be true, so I leave space for that.

Negligee · 10/12/2021 18:58

@PoleFairy

More stunned about how many people are saying "santa" in this thread! Its Father Christmas surely?
Not in Ireland.
dottiedodah · 10/12/2021 18:58

At 8 he is about the age where they question things .He would be unusual at that age to believe wholeheartedly ! Santa is a lovely thing to believe in for little ones ,however at Junior School the other children would be also wondering I should think! Just tell him to keep the secret from his younger sibling for a bit longer

Ballbagisnotmyname · 10/12/2021 18:59

I’ve had the same conversation with my 10yr old dd this evening! She twigged last year but I had to come clean this year!

pencilsontheceiling · 10/12/2021 19:03

I don not believe for one minute that 15 and 17 year olds still believe 😂🙈 my six year old is constantly telling why he can't be real!!

Burntcandle · 10/12/2021 19:04

Someone who has a lot of experience with kids told me when I asked them how they dealt with it that.....they told their kids that 'Santa would bring them presents as long as they believed in him'
Not technically a lie - once they don't belive in Santa, presents come from their parents instead.

Most kids will realise at some point between 8 and 14. My eldest is 9 and he's already questioning

maddiemookins16mum · 10/12/2021 19:05

Of course he knows the ‘truth’ but he’ll always believe in the ‘magic’.

Picklypickles · 10/12/2021 19:06

I've also been caught out today, my 7yr old son was snooping around in my things and has found my stash of baby teeth. I tried saying they were my spare teeth but I don't think they believed me! My 10yr old daughter asked me if I'm also Santa, I will never admit to it!

speakout · 10/12/2021 19:07

Not in Ireland.

Not in Scotland either.
Always Santa, or Santa Claus.

HailAdrian · 10/12/2021 19:11

I'm relieved my 10yo no longer believes tbh we aren't exactly rich and I wouldn't want him thinking santa was less generous with him than other kids.

bubblesbubbles11 · 10/12/2021 19:11

i never had that conversation with my two - i just sensed they knew and i changed the conversation to "do you want Christmas presents from Santa because you won't get any if you don't believe in him"
My oldest is 13 and she says she still "believes" in Santa with a twinkle in her eye. What is wrong with that?

MushMonster · 10/12/2021 19:12

Say the truth!
You managed 8 years, and 5 for your little one! That is amazing.
Just say, yes it is true, parents and family organises everything, and we love to see you so excited!
Maybe ask him to keep it from your 5 year old, and help making it magical for them. Though your little one may not believe now.

SmellyOldOwls · 10/12/2021 19:13

@PoleFairy

More stunned about how many people are saying "santa" in this thread! Its Father Christmas surely?
Stunned, that not every poster on mumsnet is English Shock
ButteredOwl · 10/12/2021 19:14

'Father Christmas only brings presents to children who believe'

I still say the above to my kids who are 15 and 23. And yes, of course they still believe ...