Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

[delightly]

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

tell him that it doesn't matter who Santa is as thy love giving presents and it all about giving and making happiness...so what is his problem?

Why is it tinged with sadness and a sign of lost innocence? How is it sad that my 6 year old is sitting with me under a blanket, cuddling his tatty hedgehog stuffed animal and actively asking for cuddles and kisses and drinking hot chocolate and giving me and Ddog tons of cuddles and talking about tomorrows advent calendar whilst not believing in Santa? He still a lovely sweet little boy - full of wide eyed wonder at all sorts from coral reefs, solar systems, craters and tectonic plates - and loves nothing more than endless snuggles. Why does believing in Santa have to be synonymous with innocence to the extent that disbelief is a devastation?

I wouldn’t tell him. He doesn’t need to know just before Xmas. He wants you to confirm Santa is real, he doesn’t want you to confirm Santa isn’t real. Just be evasive and say he can believe what he wants to believe but Santa might only come to those who believe.

Tell him he's now in on The Secret and he will still get presents from FC anyway. His job is to keep the magical secret and continue to make it special for younger kids.

OP you may have been devastated - but does your child seem devastated? If he doesn’t - and is fairly scientific and casual about it - then HE himself as a child isn’t devastated is he? Sounds like a cool kid - he’s figured something out and worked something out with logic and is possibly not distraught about it?

Deny, deny, deny.

Mine are 27 and 24 and I've never admitted to the truth. They know, I know, we've both known for years, but you know what? if you don't believe then Santa doesn't come, your choice.

Mine, like a PP above, just roll their eyes and go with it. Obviously he DOES exist because they still get stockings, and glitter dust and gold coins sprinkled around the living room.

I mean, I wouldn't do that would I?

DS is 9 and has always been a mini-cynic, partly because he has always been at very multicultural schools where lots of his classmates didn’t do Christmas, so he knew Santa Claus was in no way universal — this is the first year he has explicitly not believed in SC, but absolutely no loss of magic here. He’s been dancing around being hysterically excited since Halloween, singing carols, opening his advent calendar is a ritual every morning, we’ve watched every Christmas film ever made, the personally-designed cards came home from school this week (reindeer apparently farting holly?), and we all went to choose our Christmas tree today.

I get a bit impatient with parental breast-beating about ‘loss of innocence’ and no magic. You don’t need to literally believe in Santa for it to be magic.

Some child said something about Santa in my yr 2 class ( 6-7 yr olds ) many moons ago.

I just replied that I always got a stocking.

Their little faces showed such relief and joy.

Don't know if they still believe, they must be about 50 now !

It was my very first class!!!

[quote Elderflower14]@ancientgran That's made my afternoon....😂 😂 😂 😂[/quote]
It wasn't helped by the fact I had a home delivery and my GP insisted on saying he was one of his because he delivered him. Very confusing for a 4 year old but the doctor's wife seemed comfortable when we bumped into them one day and doctor introduced as, "This is mrs Ancient and one of my children."

@Angliski

I’ve never understood why we lie to our kids about this stuff.

I am such a grinch!

I agree! And the numerous posts on mumsnet about kids asking santa for really expensive toys that they can't afford just makes me want to do it even less

@GinPin2

Some child said something about Santa in my yr 2 class ( 6-7 yr olds ) many moons ago.

I just replied that I always got a stocking.

Their little faces showed such relief and joy.

Don't know if they still believe, they must be about 50 now !

It was my very first class!!!

That is so lovely!

My mother had a narcissistic hissy fit when I (age 5) told my grandmother on Christmas Day that Santa Claus had given me a lot of presents...5 minutes later I knew there was no Santa Claus and they'd all come from my parents. I started school the next month (we lived in Australia, school year starts late January) and told all my classmates...

We were not a popular family at my primary school...

Have you let your son read the most reprinted editorial in English (according to Wikipedia)? It is on the subject of the existence of Santa..

Yes Virginia There is a Santa Claus

@Onatree

I have a 6 year old who isn’t under any illusion that a magical man delivers his presents and is perfectly excited about Christmas. I have a nearly 2 year old who will follow in her brothers footsteps and we shall all continue to have wonderful magical holidays.

The OP befuddles me. How is this “devastating”?

OK, well for families that do do santa, it's because they enjoy it and while you may not find it adds to the magical atmosphere, for some families, it does. Children not believing in santa any more is a fun phase ending and some people, in a spirit of hyperbole, describe that as devastating when they really mean they feel a wistful sadness about a special time passing.

I say to my younger one that Santa is a story some of the children at school believe.
Last year I told my 10 year old and we joke about it now how I used to get scared I would be caught bringing the pressies down!
It's silly really Christmas isn't about a make believe stranger who comes into your home whilst you are asleep and I personally dont like it when I hear parents say youll go on the naughty list or santa wont bring you presents if your naughty.
And when they question it rightly so and parents go on to lie, they may be reluctant to ask questions or whether they can trust.
I know it's all ment as a lovely cristmassy tradition but it's really not it's a disguise for having to buy lots of gifts and basically lie to your children. Don't you think if you buy your little one a nice gift you should get the credit for it!
Tell them the truth and you did the Santa thing because you felt it would be a nice thing to do at the time but no he's not real he's a make believe charactor lots of little children may believe in.
The magic isn't about Santa it's about spending quality time with your loved ones not about things
Merry Christmas! :)

It shows he's clever. DD rumbled Father Christmas aged 6, it's a logical step from understanding that magic and miracles aren't real (I wonder if children brought up religious believe for longer..?). Keep him excited by including him on maintaining the mystery for his little brother.

I think mine loved it just as much when they were co-opted into the secret and could keep it going for the younger ones. They still do for their v much younger cousins.

I don’t get being devastated though.

At that age they're testing you a bit. I agree keep shrugging your shoulders and saying nothing and still make the magic happen ;)

Just have a chat with him about not saying it in front of younger children. My just turned nine year old doesn't believe but she still wrote a Santa list and is still all excited for Christmas. Christmas is so
much more than Santa. Even as teens we'd often go to visit Santa for a bit of fun with our parents for the annual family photo and then out for a meal afterwards. The magic and fun doesn't get automatically cut off when children stop believing. I honestly think people take the Santa thing way too seriously nowadays

More stunned about how many people are saying "santa" in this thread! Its Father Christmas surely?

Some of us are very declassé forriners.

I think most 8 year olds don’t believe, and those that ‘do’ are doing so for their parent’s benefit. It’s totally normal op! Christmas is still brilliant 😄

It’s Santa where I come from.

As I understand it, Santa / Santa Claus / Santy is Scottish/Irish and Father Christmas is English.

So no, it’s not “Father Christmas” surely

My line had always been ‘you think I have time to do that!’

Mine is 10 and I'm wishing this conversation would come.
He seems to still believe in it I even heard him talking to his friends about the elf the other week and was dying on the inside thinking they would rip the piss out of him.
Unless he's just going along with it?