Why is it women?

[julieca]

I have known so many women who restrict where and when they drive because of anxiety. They won't drive at night, in the rain, in cities, places they don't know, etc, etc. And sadly it is always women, not men.

I know for some there will be issues such as astigmatism that means driving at night is not safe. But men can also suffer from these issues. Yet I rarely meet a man who restricts where and when he drives, unless he is very elderly.

So why is it always women who are anxious about driving?

@julieca

I have known so many women who restrict where and when they drive because of anxiety. They won't drive at night, in the rain, in cities, places they don't know, etc, etc. And sadly it is always women, not men.

I know for some there will be issues such as astigmatism that means driving at night is not safe. But men can also suffer from these issues. Yet I rarely meet a man who restricts where and when he drives, unless he is very elderly.

So why is it always women who are anxious about driving?

My eyesight at night is pretty shit and I driving in the dark where I can because it makes me feel unsafe. I have family members with the same thing but that's a safety issue. I think women are generally more nervous drivers, probably not helped by the stereotyping from men about women being bad drivers. In my experience they are usually better drivers from being extra cautious!

I've failed three times, because I'm a shit driver. I have an astigmatism but it's very weak my husband's friend has a huge lazy eye but drives fine. My husband is one of the only people I feel safe driving with, including my aunty who took one of those police said extra training things... my husband always insists on driving because he's anxious being a passenger. It not always women

Oh my I never knew this about astigmatism I blamed myself as having bad driving . Off to research ! Thanks OP

Why is it almost always assumed that when comparing differences between men and women, that what men do is the gold standard?

Maybe if more men questioned their ability and altered their behaviour accordingly there would be less fatal car crashes.

@thelegohooverer

Why is it almost always assumed that when comparing differences between men and women, that what men do is the gold standard?

Maybe if more men questioned their ability and altered their behaviour accordingly there would be less fatal car crashes.

I think men as a group do actually have more driving ability, as in they can drive better if they deliberately try to drive as if they're taking their test. The problem is that far too many drive like they're in the latest Fast and Furious film.

I've spent over 15,000 hours driving a truck and my observations are that things like dangerous impatient overtakes are mostly men, whilst taking three hours to reverse into a parking space the length of the titanic is mostly women.

@eightwheelgirl your observations. Not fact.
But then I remember you and sexist comments from other threads.

I don't know anyone like this, male or female.

I think maybe women are just more realistic and willing to say they won't drive in certain circumstances, whereas men make other excuses (because not wanting to drive is 'unmanly') or drive even when they shouldn't because of pride and stubbornness.

You say 'you have to keep doing things' I say if the thing is dangerous (either inherently or sufficiently far outside your skill level to make it so) you bloody well don't and in fact the best and only reasonable thing to do is say no.
I wonder how many fewer people would die on the roads if more people were willing to admit that actually no they can't handle their car adequately in a storm/at high speeds/while under the weather etc and the right thing to do is not drive.

Driving doesn't give me anxiety, I just HATE it. It's so stressful and such a faff. Don't even get me started on finding parking .

I live abroad in a big city, so I haven't really needed to drive for ages, but DH is now hassling me to get my US license, but again it's so stressful and such a time suck.

[quote Lifewith]@eightwheelgirl your observations. Not fact.
But then I remember you and sexist comments from other threads.[/quote]
Well, it is a fact that men consistently outperform us on spatial awareness tests. When you add the fact that a lot more men than women are into cars and motorsport, I think it's hard to deny that men have superior driving skills in general.

People don't generally get killed by rear ending somebody at the lights. It's boy racers ragging their Fiests STs down A-roads at 90mph which gets people killed. Women don't do this as much so don't get killed as often.

If we're better drivers where are all the female Formula One champions? Or is that also the patriarchy keeping them down.

I do the vast majority of driving. I'm much better than my husband who has never liked driving and isn't confident. He also has appalling spatial awareness, an appalling sense of direction and a complete inability to read maps.

He is the only man I know like this however. I have never met any other man who preferred to be driven (except for my father when he was in his 80s) which was a bit different.

On the glare point, I have been really struggling with bright headlights over the last couple of years. A month ago I bought some new glasses that I use exclusively for night time driving. They are normal glasses for short sightedness (I wear varifocals during the day), and they have special anti glare coating. They have made a huge difference and I cannot recommend them highly enough.

I don’t get anxious about driving at all.

However I think women in general are told “you can’t” by society about driving, and it sticks.

I'm in my 50s and a very confident driver. I don't find it in the least bit stressful. It took me three goes to pass my test, but after that there was no stopping me. My third instructor, who got me through my test, was just brilliant and taught me driving confidence as much as anything else. I have no problem driving in the dark, I think because a lot of my early driving lessons were on winter evenings so I got used to it.

@thelegohooverer

Why is it almost always assumed that when comparing differences between men and women, that what men do is the gold standard?

Maybe if more men questioned their ability and altered their behaviour accordingly there would be less fatal car crashes.

This has a lot to do with it. Also, ever notice that where someone does something idiotic on the road or bad parking, if its a male driver it's about the individual driver, but if it's a woman it's about "women drivers". You can certainly see this in comments on YouTube or on news sites.

It seems, generally women individually need to be gold standard drivers to be accepted as as a good driver where men as general are held as gold standard (certainly thier own head) just by being good drivers - and sometimes not even good ones.

Got to say, drives me potty how my Dh also assumes he's driving when we're together. No question about it, I'm pretty sure he's the keys in hand early so I can't get them.

Age may be a factor. I won’t drive on unlit country roads at night any more, because my night vision is not what it was. Very busy motorways or other busy roads with good markings, cats’ eyes, etc., no problem.

I dont drive - i am very short sighted and even with glasses i couldnt pass the vision test of reading a numberplate. I also get flashing lights etc and i just feel like driving would be a terrible idea.

I do have anxiety which i take medication for not about driving though.

When people ask why i dont drive i say anxiety because people dont stick their noses in then.

If i try to explain about my eyesight i get “cant you have laser eye surgery” (no im not suitable) or “ you just need better glasses to pass the test and the lights etc wont matter once youve passed”.

I dont lug myself around on trains and buses with 6 children for fun its because i would be putting people at risk by driving.

I think women are more likely to take that choice.

@eightwheelgirl you can't just say something is fact without actual facts.
And saying a woman takes 3 hours to reverse park is not fact, it's a stupid sexist opinion. Your opinion, which is def not fact.
But then you love these kind of threads men vs women so I'm not engaging anymore.

If this is a thing, it’s a UK thing. Im not in the UK and I don’t know of a single person, male or female, who carries on like a pork chop like some of the posters here over “anxiety“ about driving. You just get your license when you are about 18 then start driving everywhere, end of story. No one is has anxiety about it. Probably helps that public transport is shit anywhere outside a major city cbd so you do have to drive if you want to go anywhere at all.

*I think men as a group do actually have more driving ability, as in they can drive better if they deliberately try to drive as if they're taking their test. The problem is that far too many drive like they're in the latest Fast and Furious film."

"I've spent over 15,000 hours driving a truck and my observations are that things like dangerous impatient overtakes are mostly men, whilst taking three hours to reverse into a parking space the length of the titanic is mostly women.*

What fuckery is this? Women are more careful therefore men are better drivers? What a load of old wank.

I'm not sure your "observations" from your truck driving trump other people's observations from their not truck driving. Nor facts.

@AvocadoTrees

If this is a thing, it’s a UK thing. Im not in the UK and I don’t know of a single person, male or female, who carries on like a pork chop like some of the posters here over “anxiety“ about driving. You just get your license when you are about 18 then start driving everywhere, end of story. No one is has anxiety about it. Probably helps that public transport is shit anywhere outside a major city cbd so you do have to drive if you want to go anywhere at all.

@AvocadoTrees I think a lot of people are nervous (although not all) when doing things for the first time like motorway driving. But the more you do, the easier it is. If public transport is hit where you live, people will quickly get used to driving in all sorts of conditions. I do think in the UK some people avoid too easily anything that makes them anxious.

@BlondeDogLady if the ring road your mother doesn't drive on is the Coventry one, then I don't blame her. That road is about the worst one I've driven on, and I've driven and towed abroad, in Paris, too!

This isn't something I am familiar with in real life. The only times I have known people not drive at night is when they have got really elderly (mid 70s onwards) and cataracts have affected their night vision.

Both my Mum and MIL still drive in their mid 80s. Not long distances, but certainly local, and at night.

Among my group of female friends - all early 50s - everyone drives, at night, in bad weather etc.

I love driving, and my only concern I ever had - getting lost- was taken away with the coming of satnavs. The last few years I have been on the uni trail with my 2 DCs and have driven all over the place on motorways, to cities I have never been to. I usually do most of the family driving too, because I am an appalling passenger. DH is fine with me doing the driving, and would never dream of telling me what to do! I can also park pretty well. The only time DH and I really share driving is when we go abroad, as you don't get much of an opportunity to see the scenery if you do all the driving.

What fuckery is this? Women are more careful therefore men are better drivers? What a load of old wank.

I'm not sure your "observations" from your truck driving trump other people's observations from their not truck driving. Nor facts.

Driving ability and how carefully you drive are two different things. Lewis Hamilton has bags of driving ability yet would be more dangerous than the average driver if he decided to tear around like a boy racer.

@eightwheelgirl you can't just say something is fact without actual facts.

Well, in actual fact, it’s well known that men generally have better spatial awareness. It is a fact.

Diamond Car Insurance studied more than 400,000 accident claims over the last five years to pinpoint the different types of collisions that male and female drivers are involved in.

Diamond, which specialises in insurance for women, found that in general women drivers tend to be involved in low-impact collisions.

They are more likely than men to hit parked cars, to collide with a moving vehicle in a car park, to reverse into another car, to hit a wall and to have an accident when driving out of a minor road.

Men are more often caught up in ‘destructive’ crashes at speed.

^www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2271025/Men-big-crashes--women-hit-parked-cars-Insurance-firm-reveals-types-accidents-sex-involved-in.html^

Pretty much what I said. That men tend to drive faster and engage in risky behaviour and pushing the vehicle to its limits, whilst women tend to be worse at basic manoeuvres like parking etc.