6 year old DS weeping non stop for up to an hour

[Eastie77Returns]

I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong. DS (6) is bright, generally a happy lovely boy. However he frequently - I would say 2/3 times a week - dissolves into tears, cries uncontrollably for anything up to an hour and refuses point blank to communicate and say what is wrong. This has been going on for a while and my patience is now really wearing thin.

He is currently in the kitchen with DP and has been crying for about 45 mins but will not speak. In fairness I suppose there was a ‘trigger’ this evening. DP picked him up from the childminder and DS then fell asleep soon after arriving home. DP then woke him up when dinner was ready and he has been crying since so I get that he may be tired. However he is not a toddler and is capable of speaking and instead is just hysterically crying. It’s so wearing. He must be exhausted (we tried to put him back to bed) and I’m just pissed off now. I was out with DD at Brownies and if I was here I would have kept him awake to eat dinner but DP parents differently so here we are…

Anyway, there are plenty of other times when tiredness is not a factor and we get the same behaviour. Sometimes after crying for an hour he will suddenly stop and reveal what’s wrong. It’s usually something like his fork fell on the floor, I gave him the wrong coloured socks.

Thank you if you’ve got this far. Does anyone with an older child recognise this behaviour? Fully expect this with a toddler but I find it frustrating with a 6 year old! He has never behaved like this with his CM or at school (both describe him as an angel)

@diddl

He doesn't have to go to football to get exercise though.

He could go for a bike ride/walk/inliner with his family.

Or have a kick about/play ball games in the garden/park.

Also just playing through the week, running round the playground etc.

“Barksmum12
I’m pretty sure you are more likely to drown if you are a swimming than non swimmer.”

When I was 5 I had just learnt to swim under water. I was doing this with my eyes open when I saw my younger baby sister of about 1 had just fallen in the pool and was sinking to the bottom. I was able to swim right up to her grab her and push her to the top all in an instant because of my new found skill.

Knowing how to swim is good.
But you are right that swimmers should take care.

@Eastie77Returns he sounds like a lovely boy and hopefully the changes you are going to make will help

How about a weekly chart so he can see what’s happening everyday.
A weighted blanket for when he feels overwhelmed.
A worry monster to pop any worries in.

I'm autistic and to me it sounds like a familiar reaction to overwhelm

@Barksmum12

I’m pretty sure you are more likely to drown if you are a swimming than non swimmer.

Your swimming argument make no sense, he’s struggling on a weekly basis now- do you not think that is causing issues?

You are projecting your own experiences and this is clouding your current issues.

Why is a swimmer more likely to drown? Is this because over confident swimmers take more risks? Be that as it may, if a swimmer and non-swimmer fall into a body of water who is more likely to survive?

I’m really puzzled by the number of people who think it’s a waste of time or unnecessary for a 6 year old to learn a life saving skill.

As for the football, he loves going and looks forward to it every week. I don’t think cancelling his 90 minute kickabout on a Saturday afternoon is necessary. PP’s have suggested going for a walk in the park or cycling instead - what is the difference between those activities and playing football?

I now understand he needs more down time after school but I don’t think this should translate into stopping two activities he really enjoys.

"PP’s have suggested going for a walk in the park or cycling instead - what is the difference between those activities and playing football?"

That you could do it as a family?

Swimming is useful but surely it can wait if he's too tired?

eastie77

I agree that it's good to do swimming & footie for fitness, social side of things, safety aspect of swimming. It's a nice change from school too.

It's the school day that is too long & it sounds like you're addressing this.

It's really positive you have listened & made changes. It's hard being a parent & doing the right thing.

I’m really puzzled by the number of people who think it’s a waste of time or unnecessary for a 6 year old to learn a life saving skill.

I think people are just trying to say that he's six years old and that if he's exhausted, it won't do any harm to cancel swimming lessons for a ew months until he's a bit older and maybe a bit more settled.

I know you had a bad experience around water but don't let that cloud your judgement. You can still take him to the pool yourself if you want him used to the water - he doesn't need formal lessons to learn the basics.

That way, if he's exhausted you can skip swimming that day/week and you don't feel like you're wasting money or letting anyone down.

The other option is to switch lessons to the weekend - that way he's not being rushed to the pool after a full day at school and several hours at the childminders as well.

I think the Christmas term is incredibly tiring, when mine were that age it was a case of feeding them the moment we got in, then a little bit of low key play, bath and bed. I did find keeping lights low worked really well at calming things, sometimes used to have a bath by candlelight which dialled down the noise and stress.
My crowning moment of parenting was having all 3 (under 8 years old) in bed and asleep by 4.30! Only managed it once but it was at the end of a week with colds etc. They all slept all night and were humans again the following day.

This term also suffers from the time change -making everyone stay up an hour later, and spend more time under electric lights when already tired.