Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

@PrincessAnnaOfArundale

I learned that I’m ok. Actually I’m more than ok... I’m fucking hilarious. I went from hating myself and apologising for even entering a room, feeling sorry for even daring to take up space on this earth- to absolutely loving myself. I don’t know what changed. I can still be socially awkward but inside I love that my intentions are good. I never mean to harm or hurt anything. I learned way too late that I’m a good person. I’m enough. I wish younger me had known that.

I love this!!!

Hurraaaaaaaaaah that you got there and can now enjoy it.

I'm like that unless I wake up at 3am. Then I review everything I ever did and said that was wrong, and feel ashamed that I ever trod the Earth.

I find people just talk and talk but dont like you to interact on what they say. It's just a one way conversation, its tiresome. I now just say really but turn off. I have a friend who just wont shut up so I've started to distance myself. I realised she is overpowering and selfish. eg... I was quite ill, she said she preferred me that way because I did what ever she suggested without query, nice! If a friend is crap get her out of your life.

@Dragonfire282

Those saying that you're also interviewing the employers aren't wrong in some circumstances but it's a very privileged position to be in. A lot of people are desperate for employment or a change in employment and would take the job no matter what.

Yes agreed. Otherwise no one would ever work for shitty employers. It is good advice for those already in an okay job looking for another one. Not for anyone unemployed though. And if you are not in the UK you have zero understanding of how harsh things are here. You have to tell the job centre about every job application and interview. If there are not enough you get your benefit cut for months at a time. And the same if you turn down a job.

Your emotions are valid. If you want to cry then cry. If you feel angry then voice how you feel and why. If I felt upset, scared or annoyed as a child I was always told to pull myself together and get on with it. I think my parents just didn't like to see me upset. It took a long time to realise I got over things much quicker by allowing myself to experience and understand my emotions.

@beachtosunset @groovergirl basically I went all through school with an interest in a creative field but studied something very practical and mainstream that I wasn't good at or interested in.

After uni I spoke to people in the field who said I'd basically have to do my degree over because people in my dream profession went to art school instead. So I gave up the idea and plodded along in jobs that seemed like 'proper jobs' to me but I could never really get the hang of - office cubicle, Microsoft Excel, all the stuff you think of as a grown-up job. But I hated them and wasn't good at them and would subconsciously sabotage them - I think in a way to prove to myself and the people around me (my parents) that I COULDN'T do these mainstream jobs, so I would have an excuse to try something else, even though I didn't know how to go about it.

Anyway about 4 years in I met someone working in a similar field to what I was interested in (art/design). And they were doing well, and had a good income, and it started me thinking again - it wasn't a crazy idea to do something more creative and artistic, and it didn't mean I didn't have a real job or wouldn't be able to support myself (all things I believed/was told), and I was starting to see that I would never progress beyond entry-level at the jobs I was doing, anyway.

But I still didn't know how to get my foot in the door.

So one day I was reading an article from an industry magazine for the arts/my dream field, and came across an interview from one of the top people in the field on how they got started. And apparently they'd gone on this 9-month course that was well-known and highly-regarded in the industry but you'd never hear of it otherwise.

I looked it up and it was very cheap to go, so I applied and went up to interview and miraculously got a place.

By then I had a 6-month-old baby but I put her in daycare next to the train station (the course was in another town so I had a 3-hour commute).

The course involved developing our work, putting a website together, and then touring round companies in the hopes of getting an apprenticeship.

I got an apprenticeship before the course was over, as most of us did, and got hired off the back of that, and have been working in my chosen field ever since!

*PrincessAnnaOfArundale

I learned that I’m ok. Actually I’m more than ok... I’m fucking hilarious. I went from hating myself and apologising for even entering a room, feeling sorry for even daring to take up space on this earth- to absolutely loving myself. I don’t know what changed. I can still be socially awkward but inside I love that my intentions are good. I never mean to harm or hurt anything. I learned way too late that I’m a good person. I’m enough. I wish younger me had known that.*

This is lovely I really needed to hear this today, thank you! I'm not there yet but working on it!

How to use a flask properly and that window and door handles require yearly maintenance, there should be a manual on this stuff!

@georgarina that is fanatasic i could have written the first part myself. Totally resonates. Thank you.

Well done, @georgarina! You took note of the little signs along the way and they led you to your perfect career. There's a lesson for us all.

@Merrymermaid7

How to use a flask properly and that window and door handles require yearly maintenance, there should be a manual on this stuff!

Really I’ve never maintained a door handle or window handle - what do you need to do?

I'm like that unless I wake up at 3am. Then I review everything I ever did and said that was wrong, and feel ashamed that I ever trod the Earth.

I still cringe or feel sad about things I did or said decades ago. But think of other people you know well or have spent time with and run through the really embarrssing, thoughtless things they've said (other than about you) and, if you are like me, there are none. We think people bear grudges or dislike us for what we did or said but we aren't that important to them, they will have no memory of it. So put these recriminations behind you.

@Merrymermaid7

How to use a flask properly and that window and door handles require yearly maintenance, there should be a manual on this stuff!

What is this yearly maintenance of door and window handles? I am fifty seven and have opened doors and windows all my life with no maintenance beyond the odd screw tightening every few years.

What is this yearly maintenance of door and window handles? I am fifty seven and have opened doors and windows all my life with no maintenance beyond the odd screw tightening every few years

Also in my 50s and ditto.

Also, is there more than one way to use a flask? We need more..

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

What is this yearly maintenance of door and window handles? I am fifty seven and have opened doors and windows all my life with no maintenance beyond the odd screw tightening every few years

Also in my 50s and ditto.

Also, is there more than one way to use a flask? We need more..

Possibly it's that so many people have door handles fitted badly that the through bar (depending on the style) bends more or the fittings become stiff?

It's notable that daily cleaning/wiping has taken the coating off many of our internal door and window handles.

It's notable that daily cleaning/wiping has taken the coating off many of our internal door and window handle

Damage through daily cleaning (of anything) is unlikely to be an issue chez Eyelesbarrow 😉

I'm happy to go through life with my current flask knowledge and also my current level of door and window handle maintenance. Not convinced I'll be on my death bed thinking if only I'd have realised the maintenance of window and door handles and the correct use of flasks.

"Why are you banging on about having the interview at home - they don't interview me at their home"

They interview you at THEIR BASE, usually their office, or the company HQ, not at a place chosen by you for your convenience. Do you see what I'm getting at? They are interviewing you, it's all at their convenience, their place, their choice of time (even if you can re-arrange to an extent), their questions 90% of the time.

"I have only ever been interviewed by two people, usually one, and I've never had to pass a test."

I do office work. There are usually 2 or 3 people, the potential new boss and one or two others, for example HR person, bigger boss or the person you'll be taking over from. I am always only 1. I am always at a disadvantage.

" I've never had to pass a test"

Lucky you. I've had to take a test for most interviews. Some cheeky fuckers even asked me to do a test at application stage, which I refused, but if I was out of work I would have been obliged to do it.

" I am interviewing them in the same way they are interviewing me, and I can ask them any questions I feel are necessary."

Who asks most of the questions at your interview?

I don't have a chip on my shoulder. I just don't like bullshit.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

It's notable that daily cleaning/wiping has taken the coating off many of our internal door and window handle

Damage through daily cleaning (of anything) is unlikely to be an issue chez Eyelesbarrow 😉

Riffing off your Christie namesake, are you too busy digging really good trenches for kidney beans and sweet peas?

Put it this way, you've not also managed to damage the coating on your kettle handle/lid nor the panel of the microwave. [rolls own eyes in embarrassment]

I've damaged lots of stuff enthusiastically cleaning.

How to use a flask:

1. Prepare your flask by filling with hot water.
2. Tip water away.
3. Add your coffee/soup whatever.
4. For cold drinks, replace the hot water with iced water in stage one.

I'm not sure how it could be done any differently? 🤷‍♀️

😂 at the flask mystery. Maybe the original flask hack poster didn't use a flask previously? Bought coffee instead of taking it? Or didn't warm it first? Will we ever know...

are you too busy digging really good trenches for kidney beans and sweet peas

I like a sweet pea, but most of my leisure time is devoted to checking sarcophagi for corpses.

But you don't have to warm a flask first? I just put my hot coffee in and it stays hot for hours!

@Nokl

But you don't have to warm a flask first? I just put my hot coffee in and it stays hot for hours!

You don't have to but it's nice, like serving food on warm plates. (I only warm food flasks, for drinks there seems little point as you're essentially exchanging one hot liquid for another)

I find modern metal flasks are too efficient and the drink to hot to drink anyway. The flask doesn't need warming anymore, but it's true the old tartan style thermos did.