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Original poster

DH and his little girl - question

370 replies

FireflyLon · 29/10/2021 13:54

So my DH asked me a question today and I really didn't know what the right answer is. We are expecting a little girl 🥰 and he asked me when he has to take her to a public toilet will he take her to the men's or women's. I said women but I was thinking I've actually never seen that. What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Tillysfad · 29/10/2021 13:55

This is very tricky. I had a friend who became widowed sadly and finding places to change was a nightmare. But no he can't go into the women's.

Tillysfad · 29/10/2021 13:56

Sometimes disabled toilet have changing facilities. That's a sensitive subject though as they are primarily for parents with disabilities, or should be.

YogaLovingMum · 29/10/2021 13:57

A ma just doesn’t go into the ladies room because he has a daughter. What about all the women in there?

I’d suggest to see what Aston there is for baby change facilities and use that. If he needs to help her and there’s no baby change situation, only men or women’s, then he goes into a stall in the men’s room with her.

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Spunout · 29/10/2021 13:58

I would expect a cubicle in mens,but understand that'd be awkward because of urinals.I wouldn't have a problem if a man knocked and popped his head in womens to ask if it's ok to come in first.

Pumpkinsondisplay · 29/10/2021 13:58

Literally just read an article about a man who knocks and announces his entrance as he takes his dd into the ladies!

Ca55andraMortmain · 29/10/2021 13:59

It's really hard for dads. My DH takes our daughters into the men's toilets when yes on his own with them but there isn't always a changing table available and the floors are sometimes not the cleanest so even though he would obviously use a mat, it's still off putting to change your baby there. Once he asked the staff what he should do and they cleared the women's toilet for 5 mins so he could change dd. He felt horrible about it though - places don't make it easy for fathers! I agree that he can't take her into the women's while there are people in there though.

redastherose · 29/10/2021 13:59

He takes he into the men's in the cubicle until she is old enough to be able to go into the ladies alone while he stands outside the door.

Original poster
FireflyLon · 29/10/2021 14:02

This is really interesting. I too wouldn't have an issue a man knocking and enter with a baby. Also we are sharing parental leave so he will have to do that many times. But I was also thinking when she's older let's say 4 or 5, does he still take her to the men's? I rather not

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 29/10/2021 14:02

He absolutely cannot go into the women's bathroom. Use the family one if possible, or the baby change and then the men's as a last resort.

Soontobe60 · 29/10/2021 14:02

If you mean when she’s in nappies and needs changing, surely all baby changing facilities are now unisex? My dh didn’t take our dd into the mens toilet at all - if she needed to go when she was younger, he’d use the disabled toilet.

Sexnotgender · 29/10/2021 14:05

If she’s still a baby he goes wherever the baby change is.

If she’s out of nappies then men’s cubicle.

As she gets older then women’s on her own and he stands outside the main door.

It’s not appropriate for him to go into the women’s bathroom regardless of whether he has a child.

If he had a son I assume he wouldn’t have asked this question?

TheSpottedZebra · 29/10/2021 14:09

Where do you think mothers take their sons, OP?

SavoyCabbage · 29/10/2021 14:09

The mens! He goes into the mens toilets always as he is a man.

Viviennemary · 29/10/2021 14:10

It would need to be the mens. I've never seen an adult male in the womens toilets.

Original poster
FireflyLon · 29/10/2021 14:11

@sexnotgender if we had a son this question wouldn't be a problem he would go to the men's. So if he has a girl to the women's.
I also think there are some cultural differences. When I was a child and my dad took me to swimming lessons we would go in the ladies changing room (this was in Switzerland)

My point is if we want men to be more involved in raising children why don't we make it easier for them?

I respect all your views I just struggle to see an issue with a man entering a women's toilet with his daughter.

OP posts:
Bushkin · 29/10/2021 14:11

Once she’s older it would be disabled/family toilet then if not available men’s until she’s old enough to use ladies alone

mbosnz · 29/10/2021 14:12

When they were little, we used the parent's room - both male and female are welcome in there, although apparently a few breastfeeding Mum's could get a bit antsy about a man - but there were cubicles with curtains so their privacy was protected.

When they were older, quite often I'd be approached by a Dad, and asked if I'd mind sorting their little girl out in the women's, and DH did the same thing with other Mums, and that worked pretty well as a system.

QuillBill · 29/10/2021 14:12

But I was also thinking when she's older let's say 4 or 5, does he still take her to the men's? I rather not

You rather not what?

Are you suggesting that there is something uncomfortable about your (yet to be born) four or five year old daughter going into the men's toilets so to combat this your husband should go into the women's toilets?

If this is not why you don't want her in the mens then why is it?

WTF475878237NC · 29/10/2021 14:12

My partner takes our baby into the disabled unless there's a cubicle in the men's with a baby change. It isn't OK for an adult penis to come into the women's.

20viona · 29/10/2021 14:13

Men's!

PineappleSituation · 29/10/2021 14:13

If you were having a baby boy instead, would you be planning to take him into the men's toilet?

Men should not be going into the women's toilets.

autumnkate · 29/10/2021 14:13

I know it probably sounds awful, OP, but he has to take her into the men’s. It isn’t really a big deal in practice, I promise

Original poster
FireflyLon · 29/10/2021 14:13

@TheSpottedZebra now that is a very good question. I've taken my nephew many times to the men's.and women's. To be completely honest whatever was faster or cleaner 🙄

OP posts:
DuploSubmarine · 29/10/2021 14:13

My dh took dd to the men's until old enough to go into the women's on her own.

If there's a baby change with loo or family area as there are in some places now, he obviously would choose to do that. But he cannot go into the women's, so there wasn't really another option.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/10/2021 14:14

My point is if we want men to be more involved in raising children why don't we make it easier for them?

The way we do that is to put facilities into the mens loos to enable baby change etc (if they are in the womens).

Most places now gave family changing - a room large enough for a buggy, with a change table and a toilet and sink.

Some places have changing tables in both the mens and womens so he would use the loo that matches his sex.

The baby doesnt have any requirements to be in a female toilet. It can be anywhere. So the adult uses the toilet appropriate to their sex.

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