There is half a carrot in my husbands toilet

[HoneyDragon]

and I don’t why and no one is confessing to putting it there.

The likely culprits all have alibis thus far….

Dh has pointed out he doesn’t like carrots
Dd never goes in there because “ew boys”
The dog hasn’t got the mental capacity to open the fridge door, salad drawer, shut the fridge, not eat the carrot and take it upstairs to put in the toilet.
Ds is at work so yet to respond but that seems like more effort than he’d be willing to invest.

I am perplexed.

Do vegetables spontaneously erupt from ubends? I thought that was just reserved for venomous critters and alligators.

Top half or bottom half? Pun not intended

There’s no way it was the dog - a lab would DEFINITELY have eaten it!! Do you have horses?…just figuring out why someone might have a carrot in their pocket….

Frosty the snowman was my first thought ⛄️

@HoneyDragon

It looks like one that was already broken in the bag iyswim? Nice smooth end.

Oh god this is confirmation Sex thing.

Dh has pointed out he doesn’t like carrots

a-HA!

We have your culprit bang to rights OP. Hoist by his own carrot.

His mitigating circumstance is in fact a cunningly crafted double bluff. He - & only he - disliked the humble carrot vehemently enough to commit foul murder.

Motive - check.
Opportunity - assuming he access to the veg rack & his own bog - check
Means - partial strangulation (the carrot struggled, guv), drowning, & here's the savage twist: the absolute monster compounded his crime by contemptuously shitting on & attempting to flush the corpse - check.

He would have got away with it, without those meddling mumsnet PP's!
Or more robust plumbing arrangements.

No mean to bring my life into this but my neighbour feeds dogs carrot as a snack maybe the dog didn’t eat the other half and put it in your husbands toilet I haven’t seen any new news

@ActonBell

Husband went for a walk and took a carrot with him in case he came upon the friendly neighbourhood pony. Forgot about it, then it dropped out of his pocket when he went to the loo?

@ActonBell nice try, but you a clearly The Accomplice.

You're not throwing us off the scent so easily ... CARROT MURDERER!

Nurse freind told me all sorts of foreign objects get shoved up rectums & fannys. Apples, cucumbers, carrots, pepper mills, air freshener aerosols (50% extra free).

@MissConductUS your cat has multiple litter trays?

I once worked in a place where several new potatoes mysteriously appeared in the toilet (along with, bizarrely, some electrical wiring).

All we need now is some roast chicken and gravy, and we've got the makings of 1) a weird whodunnit movie and 2) a nice meal.

@SheWoreYellow

You did it and this thread is an elaborate cover.

Now this is more like it @SheWoreYellow. Proper investigative mindset, that.

I may need to pull back from my own theory now. Hold on, I'll release DH from the clanking dungeon while you investigate further. Would you like a go on my deerstalker?

@CherryRipe1

Nurse freind told me all sorts of foreign objects get shoved up rectums & fannys. Apples, cucumbers, carrots, pepper mills, air freshener aerosols (50% extra free).

True. We always kept an anal speculum handy. Saturday nights were the worst.

@HoneyDragon

Dh wouldn’t pick a carrot. He has a deep distrust of vegetables that aren’t green, regardless of shape. Plus it’s pretty much unsullied. And the fact that he was quite convinced I’ve totally lost the plot and am trying to gaslight him into believing their are carrots in his loo.

My money would always be on the Labrador. It has her mo all over it but I don’t know where she’d find a carrot.

Come on now.

A Lab is capable of finding food anywhere.
The plot thickens ...

amy I agree with your rat hypothesis I’m afraid.

Homemade butt plug?

[quote Piglet89]@MissConductUS your cat has multiple litter trays?[/quote]
I have two cats. It used to be three sharing the two litter trays, but sadly one passed. One is in the unused shower stall and the other sits under the sink. We usually refer to it as the "cat bathroom".

The extra shower came in very handy last year when we had to have the shower in the master bath retiled last summer.

@Lonelymum21

Separate bedroom and toilet for your dh? My god woman, you're living the dream.

She's not though because it sounds like he's shagging Kevin!

@KingVoid

What MI5 why would they want a phone that’s just well strange

It was just a guess. Perhaps they've lost it, or returned it to the wrong customer. What do they say when you ask them.

@MintyGreenDream

Zombie snowman entered the house in the night and then melted?

Perfect.

Absolves everyone.

Or ... are you another DH accomplice, @MintyGreenDream?

I have considered the Labrador defence, but am holding out for DH, because it's a clear-cut Crime of Passion.
He hates carrots ... & a carrot just happens to die on his watch?

I really hope you get to the bottom of this

@Whitefire

One of my university lecturers many moons ago was a radiographer, he used to show us the x-rays.

This time though, you need to blame the dog, however in terms of ghosties what is the house built on????

Ancient, hallowed allotment lands.

@HoneyDragon

It was the dog.

She's still holding the 'blue' grudge & trying to cause disharmony between you & DH.

You know I'm right!

Else DH doesn't like to 'eat' carrots, but.. you know, needs must....big bed all to himself....

I would like to know if your husband also cleans this exclusive toilet

(I hate cleaning manky boy toilets)

@Sprinkles32

I really hope you get to the bottom of this

Could you dh have been involved in vegetable related shenanigans with the aforementioned carrot?

Surely you'd put it in the bin afterwards? Couldn't a carrot block the U-bend?