There is half a carrot in my husbands toilet

[HoneyDragon]

and I don’t why and no one is confessing to putting it there.

The likely culprits all have alibis thus far….

Dh has pointed out he doesn’t like carrots
Dd never goes in there because “ew boys”
The dog hasn’t got the mental capacity to open the fridge door, salad drawer, shut the fridge, not eat the carrot and take it upstairs to put in the toilet.
Ds is at work so yet to respond but that seems like more effort than he’d be willing to invest.

I am perplexed.

Do vegetables spontaneously erupt from ubends? I thought that was just reserved for venomous critters and alligators.

@bestcattoyintheworld

A long time ago, when I was a student nurse, we had a chap admitted onto the ward who had to go to theatre to have an 8 inch carrot removed from his rectum. Theatre sent it back with him, it was in a plastic bag.

Could you dh have been involved in vegetable related shenanigans with the aforementioned carrot?

That was my first thought too! The Internet has ruined me =))

Where’s the other half?

Many moons ago working in A and E, some bloke shoved a tomato sauce bottle up hi arse. A and E joked, saying it came out as brown sauce.

My mind went straight to vegesexual shenanigans too. Is it the thick end, or the thin end?

Dh wouldn’t pick a carrot. He has a deep distrust of vegetables that aren’t green, regardless of shape. Plus it’s pretty much unsullied. And the fact that he was quite convinced I’ve totally lost the plot and am trying to gaslight him into believing their are carrots in his loo.

My money would always be on the Labrador. It has her mo all over it but I don’t know where she’d find a carrot.

Is it nearly cut? Or… gnawed-looking? 🐀

Honey my lab nicks potatoes, both labs love eating whole carrots.

It looks like one that was already broken in the bag iyswim? Nice smooth end.

@HoneyDragon

It looks like one that was already broken in the bag iyswim? Nice smooth end.

Nice smooth end? Dear God. Enough OP. Too many euphemisms hurt my brain!

Unquestionably the dog. Your DH would know if he'd produced a carrot, and would have disposed of the evidence!

Why were you in his bathroom? Do you clean his toilet?

It’s bin day, I was emptying all the bins in the house. The toilet seat was up. You couldn’t miss it.

Your husband has his own toilet? Why did I not think of this?

Kevin the carrot's Ausie relative coming for Xmas?

Maybe Bugs Bunny has gone aquatic and is living just around the U-bend?

Zombie snowman entered the house in the night and then melted?

Oh dear, I was going to do a roast dinner tomorrow night, may reconsider that now ...

Apparently rats can get into houses via U-bends, maybe a cute little rat (I love rats) was looking for somewhere to store the nice piece of carrot he'd found, realised he'd got into a human house and retreated in a panic, leaving the carrot behind.

Totally missing the point of the thread but SO jealous of the separate bedroom/bathroom thing going on in your relationship. This truly is the way to marital bliss.

I know it’s no fun (and I speak as someone who thought there was a person living in the loft. There wasn’t… ) but carrot was dropped en route to fridge / bin / kitchen surface.

Greedy lab found the carrot. Carried it about. Put it in loo for shits, giggles and safe keeping.

@HoneyDragon

It’s a new build. So ghosts unlikely. Ds works at a leisure centre so does come home with dubious stuff in his pockets but not carrots.

According to Hollywood, new builds have ghosts too. All you need in a native American graveyard (cf. the movie Poltergeist)

@Whatwouldscullydo

There is one other explanation

I wonder if it’s what I’m thinking 🤔

My dog eats carrots, they come out looking the same as they went in...

A dc carelessly drops carrot, dog picks it up and drops in loo.

One of my university lecturers many moons ago was a radiographer, he used to show us the x-rays.

This time though, you need to blame the dog, however in terms of ghosties what is the house built on????

@HoneyDragon

It’s bin day, I was emptying all the bins in the house. The toilet seat was up. You couldn’t miss it.

There you are then. The dog found a carrot in someone's rubbish, nicked it, and deposited in H's loo.