Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

[letsleepingbabieslie]

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

Hard to say, sorry. Some kids are very annoying and come across as lacking in social skills. Others seem charming. What happens if you tell him you want to talk to the other adult without being interrupted?

Yes. I find it totally irritating.
No. I don't think you're overreacting.

I will smile and listen to a little bit of child chatter but if I'm there to see a friend I don't want to sit and listen to their child talking- so yes, for me it would be annoying. And more so if you just mouthed that you are sorry and didn't redirect them.
My group of friends are all pretty similar so we'll smile and do kid chat for 5 mins then encourage them to go play or do something else.

Does he have a conversation or just hit them with a stream of his own chat? He shouldn’t be interrupting you and hogging the floor when you’re trying to have a conversation and catch up with a friend no, but if he can learn to chat properly and take social cues when talking to adults then it could be a good skill rather than annoying.

Bloody annoying.

Other people’s children rarely have anything to say that might interest me.

Yes I find it annoying.

I have a couple of friends I avoid seeing when they will have their child with them.

Do you stop him at any point? I'm going to be honest, it would drive me mad if I was stuck on a train and somebody's child was talking at me for ages.

How long do you let him monopolise your friend's visit for?

I don’t want to say it & it feels mean but I also find other people kids chat really annoying! If it’s a bit then it’s fine but if I’m meeting you for a catch up I do want to catch up with you & have a good chat! Xo

I mean, he needs to learn there’s a time and a place.

It's fine as long as you move him on and allow adults to just talk to each other

Yes, yes it is.

I'd be happy to listen for a bit.

No you're not overreacting, that sounds extremely annoying. Why is he there when you're trying to catch up with a friend? Can't you ask him to leave you in peace for a bit?

I wouldn’t find this annoying but I like children. I wouldn’t be able to ignore and disregard the child to chat with their parent.

I think if I wanted a specifically adult catch up with a friend I wouldn’t take the boy with me, however.

It’s sweet for a while but gets annoying if it goes on too long. You’ll be able to tell this from the facial expression of the recipient. Mouthing ‘sorry’ is no use to man nor beast.

If he interrupts whilst others are having a conversation then yes annoying and rude. He needs to be taught not to do that

If it's part of a conversation, rather than just talking at you, then I think that is OK.

Annoying. It’s very dull talking to other people’s children.

My friend's 9y/o is like this. I honestly don't mind, he's a very sweet boy and he likes to tell me about the science books he's reading and his ant farm (he knows I did a science degree many moons ago so obviously must love all this stuff, haha). My friend does rein him in after a few mins "Right DS, mum and Bluey are just gonna chat for a bit, you can read your book/listen to your music/go back to playing". If a strangers child did it, I would happily engage with them a few mins but I would get annoyed if mum didnt intervene after a bit.

I don't mind when random kids start a little chat with me at the park or whatever (where I am with my own kids). That's really sweet. But when I want to see a friend and can't get a word in edgeways, it isn't ideal, but he's only 9. Wouldn't annoy me that much. I'd probably arrange more child free activities though or a mix of the two, or activities where the kids go off on their own.

If it’s for a few minutes I don’t mind at all, but if I’m seeing a friend and their child just talks non stop at me I wouldn’t find it that enjoyable. I wouldn’t worry too much about strangers if for short periods. If it happens a lot with friends do you stop them/distract them or get them doing something else?

I think if it’s got to the point that you’re mouthing ‘sorry’, then you know it’s too much.

I was like your DS when I was a kid and I’ve no doubt I was bloody annoying. My parents put up fairly firm boundaries though and it was always clear when it was time for adult conversation.

I think it is a matter of scale.

Children’s opinions are, to me, quite interesting (depending on the child). They often bring a naive and unbiased view to things.

I also think it is really important that they feel their opinions are valued.

BUT…

They must also realise that when their parent tells them that the adults need to talk for a while, that is the point they need to stop talking.

Yes very annoying!

Depends how long we are talking. I'd be quite happy to chat / listen to a friend's child for a few 5min intervals but wouldn't want a full on long discussion. I'd also be happy to play a game or do an activity as long as it wasn't ages.

How is he with other kids? Does he have many friends or does he spend lots of time in the company of adults?