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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
FoxgloveSummers · 07/09/2021 19:09

@PileOfBooks

I had a friend say how lovely it was the 13 year old liked to sit with the grown ups now....if we go for an evening there she is around. I tend to suggest elsewhere.
You're lucky, my mum used to insist I stay and make polite convo with her friends as it was "rude" to go and read etc. Only now realising they probably wished I'd fuck off too!
Vinomummyinlockdown · 07/09/2021 19:50

Our friend's 13 year old daughter does this!! The dad loves it as he can show her off as he thinks she’s so inquisitive etc …. Urgh. A bit of a chat yes - then it’s adult chat time thanks!

Vixyboo · 07/09/2021 19:54

Does he have Apsergers?

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nannykatherine · 07/09/2021 20:02

The poor child ..
And how sad no one wants to listen to children !!

Mumontour85 · 07/09/2021 20:02

I will always engage with kids like this, I think that enthusiasm and chatter in kids is an absolute joy that you often don't get from adults! You'll often find me at the kids table talking about Harry Potter and puppies while the 'adults' talk politics and mortgages!

Bleachmycloths · 07/09/2021 20:11

Yep. A total PITA. Not your DS but his habit.

GreyhoundG1rl · 07/09/2021 20:23

@nannykatherine

The poor child .. And how sad no one wants to listen to children !!
Yes, that's exactly what everyone's said...
FoxgloveSummers · 07/09/2021 20:38

Weirdly this thread is making me go off adults a bit

Burgess67A · 07/09/2021 20:49

Your son sounds really sweet. Nothing wrong with improving his social skills!

Deckchair1009 · 07/09/2021 20:51

I’m on the fence. I remember meeting a 10 year old as a new first time mother and feeling amazed at his level of conversation and confidence. My DH and I have always held this as a benchmark as to how we want our kids to be. I now have a young son (who is very clever and a bookworm) but tbh he can bore the pants off me!! He’ll engage with anyone who wants to talk or listen but I draw the line and have explained that not to everybody is interested in dinosaurs or his latest book series. I think it’s brilliant that your son has the confidence to talk to adults, but it’s YOUR friends. Explain that he can chat but he must also be interested in their part of the Convo too. I have nieces/nephews/friends kids that either talk waffle and demand the stage/wouldn’t utter a monosyllable if their life depended on it/are rude/are overindulged by their parents and keep monopolising the conversation by interrupting and taking over. Personally I find it highly irritating when the kid interrupts mid conversation and the parents concentration is lost... I’d have to experience the chat with your son to gauge. If he’s got a conversation going, brilliant, if he’s droning on about Lego or something, nip it in the bud.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 07/09/2021 21:04

I sat next to the most adorable 3 year old and her dad on a long train journey recently. By the end we had collaborated on a Peppa pig colouring in project, she'd given me a selection of princess stickers and she was inviting me to her grandmas for ice cream on the beach. I thought she was wonderful and I was very happy to chat to her. She was chatty and curious but very polite.
My own kids are very shy and would never ever speak to a stranger. I find that equally rude and embarrassing sometimes and often apologised when DD failed to return greetings or answer qs when DD was small.
Nothing wrong with an extrovert chatty kid as long as they are polite and know when to wait their turn.

Scoobydoobydo · 07/09/2021 21:11

Very annoying

BastardMonkfish · 07/09/2021 21:11

Well if you're going to meet with kids there too then you expect to be interrupted all the time surely? I don't see the problem really, if it's a child friendly meet up. Discussions in parks and the like are usually PG. Not like he's joining you all at a restaurant and boring the arse off you about mine craft while you're on your third glass of wine and trying to hear about someone's tinder date.

pollymere · 07/09/2021 21:28

It's a common ASD trait as they don't get social cues. You seem more bothered by it than anyone though. Have your friends complained? It's nice when you can have a decent conversation with a child. I'd ask your friends how they feel. They need to be the adult too and end the conversations to teach him social cues...and you need to stop saying sorry.

marmaladehound · 07/09/2021 21:28

@FoxgloveSummers

Weirdly this thread is making me go off adults a bit
Yeah, me too, from some of the replies here 🙄
YourFinestPantaloons · 07/09/2021 21:29

Yes sorry but your mates are hoping your kid will go away. If I'm visiting adults I want adult company. I'm sure your son is lovely to you

roxisolerenshaw · 07/09/2021 21:29

I think it depends on the circumstances. I'm child friendly and happy to talk to children, however it can get irritating if there are constant interruptions to adult conversation. Worse is if I'm on the phone to a friend/colleague and they say that their young child wants to talk to me when I've never met their child or zoom meetings keep getting interrupted by someone's child who just wants to come and tell me about the toy they're playing with.

YourFinestPantaloons · 07/09/2021 21:31

Have to say though OP it's very refreshing that you recognise he's annoying rather than saying "isn't he darling" to your friends as they nod through gritted teeth

calvados · 07/09/2021 21:34

You need to correct this irritating habit now as nothing more annoying than a child who doesn’t know when to stop.

peppermintpat · 07/09/2021 21:36

In a word, yes he is. Just hello and a few questions about school etc then off you pop small person!

HotSauceCommittee · 07/09/2021 21:40

I like it. My son, when he was young, showed an old lady his flashing trainers in the supermarket. They had a short conversation between themselves and it was just really nice.
They learn self awareness. The same son is now in a job where he has to chat to people and get on with them. He genuinely likes talking to all sorts and they like him.
Some people just don't like to chat and your boy will learn to pick up the signals.

Fleshmechanic · 07/09/2021 22:12

It's annoying but they're a child. Try to gently teach them the art of conversation like taking their turn and listening to others. They learn from you and how you converse after all. I think you sound a bit rude. If my mum had mouthed "sorry" while I was talking as a kid I'd have stopped engaging and wanting to go anywhere with her. Your job as a parent is to encourage not to discourage.

HalzTangz · 07/09/2021 22:37

If I was having a conversation and a kid interrupted to have their own conversation I would find it annoying, and would suggest meeting up child free to avoid it happening.

Mamanyt · 07/09/2021 23:02

I have two young friends about that age who are charming and interesting...and about 15 young acquaintances who drive me nuts with it. It very much depends on your son, and on who he is talking with. Is this a two-way conversation? He lets the other person comment? If so, it's going to depend entirely on the other person. Some enjoy talking with children, some don't. BTW, I'm 68 years old, and have talked with a good many on both sides of that.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 07/09/2021 23:27

There's a time and place, if a friend came over to chat about a serious concern, last thing you need is a child interrupting. Maybe talk to him before people arrive or meet up. Friends will be polite and say they don't mind bit no adult seeks out 9 year old conversations. OK for a while but gets annoying pretty quickly.