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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
ttcissoboring · 07/09/2021 23:28

Very annoying. Kids should butt out of adult conversations IMO unless they're invited into it.

LittleOverWhelmed · 07/09/2021 23:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Bertiebiscuit · 08/09/2021 00:08

Yes he sounds quite annoying - it sounds as though he hadn't learned how to behave around adults so you need to talk to him about this and teach him to be more respectful to adults, if he does this to all adults he will p*ss people off massively

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GreyhoundG1rl · 08/09/2021 00:12

@LittleOverWhelmed

No, honestly, I live listening to other people’s children. Maybe not for hours, day after day, but a conversation every so often is charming.
But other people's children are just literally other people; they're all different. A blanket statement about children doesn't work, any more than a blanket statement about people.
ShepherdessBoink · 08/09/2021 00:19

It depends on him. Some children are interesting, others should be kept away from adults.

MummyMayo1988 · 08/09/2021 09:23

My DS (11) is the exact same. He has always been soo articulate. Thoughts and ideas pop into his head and he just has to get them out.
I do on occasion find it soo annoying - sometimes he doesn't even take a breath between sentences and he can go on for half an hour!
When it comes to (adult) family/friends we always set boundaries. He knows not to interrupted conversation. When I can see he's going to go on for a bit; I try to distract him with something else.
Like everything with children - boundaries are the key!

readingismycardio · 08/09/2021 09:41

I'd be happy to listen for a very short while - say 10-15 minutes, but no more, especially when I'm trying to catch up with a friend

coffeeisthebest · 08/09/2021 09:49

Do you find him annoying OP? That's probably the question you need to ask yourself. Your post reads like you do. You might want to spend some time thinking about that.

coffeeisthebest · 08/09/2021 09:51

Also it is hideously mean that you are mouthing 'sorry' to the other person. Have you ever thought about how that might make him feel?

Chillyjellytotty · 08/09/2021 10:59

I think it depends, a 5 min chat is fine, my ds has a friend who talks to me for what feels like hours about online games. I try and hide but they find me 😅 and just chat crap. I would much prefer to hear about books/what they are learning at school/food.

Summerfun54321 · 08/09/2021 11:59

This whole situation would go away if you arranged quality child free time with your friends without your DS around. Expecting him to be seen and not heard is pretty sad.

msgreen · 08/09/2021 13:19

Its a balance ,He needs to learn not to interrupt but also
needs to be heard.
We have a friend who's son did this ,only child he was allowed to speak
for hours at big meals everyone was expected to sit and listen .
The parents would sit in awe ,he's a lovely guy now 18 still does it
but he hasn't learnt social cues its made him a little odd.
We also have an only child Now 19 who has always favoured adult conversation ,but thankful has learnt the art of conversation !
its a learnt skill ,help him learn .......

Mandy8888 · 08/09/2021 13:26

it's good that he talks but I would set rules so I get time with my friend and to be sure they consider if somebody wants to listen

Backwaterjunction · 08/09/2021 14:40

Yes annoying, to be honest no now likes talking to other peoples kids

pinkstripeycat · 08/09/2021 15:01

It’s rude. At 9 he should know that when adults are chatting he should stay quiet and read his book or do whatever he’s brought with him.
My DS is older but is also overly chatty. He’d never dare to interrupt adult conversation. If we’re alone I do sometimes as him when he’s finished telling me about his interest would he like to to tell him about mine. He very quickly says “No thanks!” and makes a sharp exit.
My DN (10) on the other hand is a knowledged by his mother so subsequently interrupts adult conversation with his chatter. It is rude of her and him

Joysutty · 08/09/2021 15:02

Dont know whether I am able to comment/criticize as mine grown up now + have no grandchildren, but that as long as the child is not rude + after few minutes you could excuse yourself saying we have to get along to go somewhere else or if happens in a friends house, then ask child to go off into another space ie. the garden then you can continue with adult conversation but who knows this child may grow up to be brainy as I always read upon things from an early age if wanted to know anything useful whereas nowadays its ask "google" who knows it all and we dont read as much as we used to.

starlight13 · 08/09/2021 23:45

It's annoying. Is he an only child? It sounds as if he needs to spend more time in the company of children.

JBlow · 08/09/2021 23:53

I would be so impressed. Not all but many of the children I come across barely make eye contact, let alone strike up a mature conversation.

Mary1Mary · 09/09/2021 21:59

The problem is he can be slow to get the hint when I suggest other things to do. Eventually I will be explicit and say 'Adults only now' but I'm trying not to make him feel awkward/embarassed as he's actually not very self-confident in general

The problem here is not his talking but his lack of understanding about different visitors. He is assuming your friend has come to see him also and he's probably treating your friend like she's his friend. And she's not. Tell him this clearly. You have your own separate friends, just like he does. He's not to intrude into your time with your friends again.

Explain to him that all visitors are different.Some people like family probably come round to see everyone. His friend comes to see him. Not you. And your friend comes to see you, not him.

Kids who do this think every visitor is there to see them and the result is guest hogging.He is old enough to understand that your friend is not there to see him. You need to explain this to him clearly Don't passively hint when he does this. Say right, me and so and so are having some grown up time so off you go.

CrisPbacon · 11/09/2021 12:35

Oh this was my eldest (of 4) I cannot understand why he was like that and the others weren't but there's no change as an adult, he loves the sound of his own voice!
Yes it was embarrassing
Yes some people found it charming; til they'd met him a couple of times
Yes I used to have to explain to him in front of people that we wanted an adult conversation that he was not part of; sounds cruel but tbh he wasn't slightly embarrassed or put off.
Yes I signed him up for stage school and he never looked back
Hes a nice bloke as a nearly 40 year old now but OMG it's a wonder I never throttled him fir monopolising every conversation and often in such a charming way that it was very hard to get him to STFU

liveforsummer · 11/09/2021 12:40

Yes it sounds annoying. I bribe dd to go off and play. She isn't a huge talker but often just hangs around and friends DD's are as you describe. Friend knows it's extremely annoying. Food bribes are usually used.

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