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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
curiousemployee123 · 06/09/2021 20:26

This could be my son.....or could have been - he's getting older now and slowly learning about social cues etc but chats happily to all adults and tells them all sorts of random things.
So if I met yours, I'd probably think, he's lovely, just like my Fred (not his name obv)

WhatsTheBFD · 06/09/2021 20:26

If he was constantly interrupting an adult conversation, I’d be pissed off.

A friends DC of a similar age does this incessantly, I can’t even get 5 words out to her and he’s butting in trying to talk to me or her, and she allows it. It’s rude AF. There’s no SEN, he just thinks he should be Centre of attention at all times and she indulges him to a degree I’ve never seen a parent do before. If I meet her now it’s when our DC are at school, because I couldn’t tolerate it any longer.

Plumtree391 · 06/09/2021 20:27

Well we are not there so don't know how your son comes across but it wouldn't bother me. I like children to be confident, that should be encouraged, and it is nice when a child find an adult who really listens, and talks, to them without being patronising. Children can tell if an adult isn't really interested.

Kids - friends of my son - were always at my house talking to me and my husband, asking us things. We had some good discussions. It seemed quite normal and I presume mine did the same at theirs.

I have to say I usually got on well with adults when I was a child.

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TertiusLydgate · 06/09/2021 20:27

He sounds really annoying, sorry.

GameSetMatch · 06/09/2021 20:30

I don’t mind when children do this for one or two minutes but if it’s relentless then yes it’s annoying!

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:30

@curiousemployee123

This could be my son.....or could have been - he's getting older now and slowly learning about social cues etc but chats happily to all adults and tells them all sorts of random things. So if I met yours, I'd probably think, he's lovely, just like my Fred (not his name obv)
I'm sure they're both lovely, but why is it taking your son so long to learn social cues? (I'm assuming he's older than the boy in the op). Are you helping him with this?
MrsMaizel · 06/09/2021 20:32

You mean like Sam on Corrie ?

LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 20:34

Children can tell if an adult isn't really interested.

The OP’s DS doesn’t sound like he can tell and that’s fine, it’s for his family to teach him - but they do need to teach him, not just mouth sorry when he does it

1FootInTheRave · 06/09/2021 20:37

Supremely annoying after about 2 minutes.

Rannva · 06/09/2021 20:38

@letsleepingbabieslie

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'. Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?
Instead of mouthing 'sorry' to the adult, speak loudly and clearly to the child and tell them not to do it.

He's nine. You do still have to teach him right from wrong.

He's also too old for yammering at strangers. If a little toddler talks to me on a train I will reply and join in. By 9, 10 and older, it's annoying as they should know better.

CarrotTops · 06/09/2021 20:41

I wouldn't find this annoying no. He's 9! Depends how long it goes on for but I think a lot of replies on this thread have been overly unpleasant tbh.

If I'm meeting up with a friend and their child I would expect some child conversation to be involved. I don't really find children boring, it's quite nice to listen to someone talk eagerly about something and be reminded of things I used to also be really keen on. To be perfectly honest a lot of adult conversation is also quite dull, it's not like hearing about your holiday in majorca is particularly thrilling or engaging

Honestly I work in healthcare and I love a chatty child, I spend all day every day talking to adults about the same fucking thing, and then a chatty 9 year old comes a long and tells me about dragons or football or whatever and it spices things up a bit. You get shy children, which I understand but I really struggle with monosyllabic children. And I feel a bit sad for the child who just sits and reads in the corner. How can a child ever learn social skills if they never talk to adults?

There's definitely a balance to be had, and it is down to the parents to gently steer their child away if it gets too much. But overall I really do mind chatty children.

CarrotTops · 06/09/2021 20:42

Really don't mind!

ANameChangeAgain · 06/09/2021 20:42

I love it when children will engage in adult conversation. Not hog the floor and take over, but children genuinely joining in should be encouraged and valued. How many of us have watched neices and nephews sit in a corner at a family get together on a phone or laptop, then moaned about their lack of social skills.

Coyoacan · 06/09/2021 20:43

Conversations involve more than one person, does he listen to the other person or just think everybody has to listen to him?

If he wants to take part in adult conversations, he has to learn that he can't just butt in and turn the conversation to what he wants to talk about.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 06/09/2021 20:44

I think you know he is @letsleepingbabieslie

please hear the ppl who are telling you the truth

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:44

How can a child ever learn social skills if they never talk to adults?
I'm sure the children you encounter in the course of your work that prefer to read rather than tell you about dragons do actually talk to other adults along the way.
It's extremely odd to assume you're their one shot at it?

TartanJumper · 06/09/2021 20:46

I wouldn't find brief chat with him annoying, but I'm not one for prolonged talks with strangers, child or adult.

I'd find it annoying if you were my friend and we were meeting up, BUT what else is he supposed to do? Sit in silence and bored while you talk?

MsTSwift · 06/09/2021 20:47

A child in Dh family similar age is like this - talks non stop it’s like a stream of consciousness. I tried to interact but realised he was just monologuing you just have to sit there. Did all our heads in by the end of the weekend tbh. Sure not all only children are like this but he is an only child and I wondered if that was a factor - don’t remember my own kids or their peers being that full on at that age. We were very much “off you go and play” approach.

CarrotTops · 06/09/2021 20:48

@greyhoundG1r1 just generally. Not just at work, friends children, neices/nephews, cousins. I find it sad if we all go out to eat and there's a child who's just say reading and not allowed to join in or doesn't know how.

Aria2015 · 06/09/2021 20:48

My son is the same but he's younger (6) so he still has a cuteness factor to him but I am very aware that not everyone will find him chatting away endearing. Today in fact he struck up a conversation with a couple on holiday and I felt self conscious. It wasn't for long as they were heading off as we were arriving, but afterwards I did say to him that generally speaking, he should not chat for long with strangers and that it's ok to say a quick hello, but to not go on too long. I've started to say this afterwards I'm the hope it sinks in.

With friends, I either arrange to see them when he's not around (because it's easier) or I'll just tell him in advance that I want to have grown up chats with my friend and he's to entertain himself or play with other children (if there are some). I will then remind him and pull him up if he gets carried away with chatting and he's quite good and will generally listen and quieten down. I do find it harder to manage with strangers though as when I try and get him to stop, they (strangers) usually respond with 'oh I don't mind! It's lovely that he's so friendly' etc... which is nice but I suspect them just being polite and of course just encourages him to chat more!

Justmuddlingalong · 06/09/2021 20:48

I also find children lacking in social cues, talk at you rather than with you.

HailAdrian · 06/09/2021 20:50

Oh good, a thread to discuss how irritating we all think children are, very original. 😂

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:51

[quote CarrotTops]@greyhoundG1r1 just generally. Not just at work, friends children, neices/nephews, cousins. I find it sad if we all go out to eat and there's a child who's just say reading and not allowed to join in or doesn't know how.[/quote]
Oh, I see, sorry.
I've never encountered a child at a function not allowed to join in with the general chat, it's pretty sad if it happens.

LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 20:51

Actually it is the child’s mother that asked for opinions of her child talking to randomers

WhatsTheBFD · 06/09/2021 20:51

@HailAdrian

Oh good, a thread to discuss how irritating we all think children are, very original. 😂
Someone who hasn’t read the OP before commenting, very original.

It’s a specific behaviour that opinions are being asked on.