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Original poster

Been up all night with DD who thinks world is ending

198 replies

Iimaginethiswillbefun · 17/08/2021 07:25

Dd has ASD she has been up all night having a meltdown. She has been watching the news. Climate change, Afghanistan she wants to die. She says the world is ending and she can’t cope. How can I reassure her.

Can someone give me some guidance on ways to talk her down.

She says we need to get guns, store food and drink. She doesn’t want brother to go to university.

I am exhausted, she is exhausted. Help!

OP posts:
54321nought · 17/08/2021 07:26

This reply has been deleted

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MydogWillow · 17/08/2021 07:27

Sorry to hear your DD is so distressed. How old is she?

stripedbananas · 17/08/2021 07:30

Cup of hot cocoa and stick on Disney +

AtlasPine · 17/08/2021 07:30

Poor girl - there is so much scared stuff in the media right now, I’m not surprised she’s feeling this sense of panic.

Can you support her to have a break from social media and all news programmes and return to doing some practical activities to burn off some of her adrenaline? Swimming, a long walk, baking, decorate or at least change around her bedroom?

Original poster
Iimaginethiswillbefun · 17/08/2021 07:33

She is 16. Not staying up all night with a child who wants to die. Is not an option.

OP posts:
toolazytothinkofausername · 17/08/2021 07:33

Thank goodness she wasn't old enough to remember 9/11.

Two options:

  1. Stop watching the news, or watch happy news only (plenty of channels on YouTube offer such videos like daily dose of internet).
  1. Learn to harness fear/anger like Greta did and take action. Start growing fruit/veg in the garden. Cycle to short distances instead of driving, such as to local shops. Write to MPs ensuring they attend Copt26 and take it seriously.
RampantIvy · 17/08/2021 07:34

That wasn't very helpful was it Hmm

grafittiartist · 17/08/2021 07:35

Gosh- it's rough at the moment.
I am a naturally happy laid back person- and even I am struggling a bit.
My plan is action- nice walk, coffee out etc.
What about seeing older relatives- troubling time change, and they could give her a sense of stability if that makes sense?
Tricky times.

RampantIvy · 17/08/2021 07:35

Sorry. That was meant for @54321nought

54321nought · 17/08/2021 07:37

This reply has been deleted

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niceupthedanceagain · 17/08/2021 07:40

I feel similar tbh.
Why not think about things you could do to help? eBay some stuff and send proceeds to charity? Sign petitions etc - rather than stockpile etc

Sittinginthesand · 17/08/2021 07:40

You could tell her that there are always scary times- the things that you remember 9/11, ww2, ww1, Cold War, Chernobyl, Iraq war, Kuwait invasion, Yugoslavia… - but that these have been ok.

toolazytothinkofausername · 17/08/2021 07:41

Get your DD to start an Instagram account called Be The Change, where she documents all she does to help climate change.

The focus may help her anxiety, and when others follow and copy her actions it really will make a change Smile

  • taking a reusable coffee cup when getting a take away
  • amazing charity shop finds
  • photos of how her crops are coming along
  • recycling photos
  • picking up litter
Duetorain · 17/08/2021 07:41

Depending on age look at facts

  • Acknowledge that yes there are some very difficult things in the world but that does not mean that the world is ending
  • the news is more slanted to bad news stories because that is what people will watch/click on
www.bbc.com/future/article/20140728-why-is-all-the-news-bad
  • we hear more news then years ago,
  • That it is hard to hear these things. Sometimes the only thing we can do is think about/feel sorry for/pray (if religious).
Sometimes we can do personal things such as trying to recycle things and walk not take the car Sometimes we can join a campaign for example you could talk to her about MPs
toolazytothinkofausername · 17/08/2021 07:41

You know your DD best, and I really hope one piece of advice from this thread is able to help you both.

Sittinginthesand · 17/08/2021 07:42

And how fortunate we are to live in this country and that we have a duty not to waste our good fortune.

iwantavuvezela · 17/08/2021 07:43

Would it help to give your DD some context (history, background) - so perhaps look at an issue and show how many of these have been around for a long time - Afghanistan might be a good place to start, or that we have had SARS, Ebola etc and come through these .... it is a very difficult time at the moment, but we are not in a “new” situation, perhaps different but we have had to face many challenges. Not sure if helpful just trying to think of other ways of coming at this with your teen.

Nimora · 17/08/2021 07:44

Your poor DD. I was like this at her age, but with the threat of nuclear war. What helped me was to use the energy in my fear and direct it in activism. Can you help her think through things she can do to feel she's making a difference? Like a PP suggested - growing veg, recycling everything, raising money, writing emails, helping girls & women close to home, etc.

Vanishun · 17/08/2021 07:44

I'm sorry. I think I'd have been the same that age. I'm autistic too.

I am flabbergasted by people saying you should have just sent her to bed - they've obviously never seen someone in a long meltdown. Or dealt with someone saying they're about to kill themselves with conviction. i've dealt with both and you can't just walk away easily.

I agree with the posts helping her start to prepare: talk about how to plan and tackle things as much as you can. She could also learn self defence, cooking, UK prepping lite stuff. That's helped me.

Jourdain11 · 17/08/2021 07:44

@Sittinginthesand

You could tell her that there are always scary times- the things that you remember 9/11, ww2, ww1, Cold War, Chernobyl, Iraq war, Kuwait invasion, Yugoslavia… - but that these have been ok.
OP is unlikely to actually remember WW1 to be fair!!

9/11 was freaky. I remember that day well.

Catnuzzle · 17/08/2021 07:45

@54321nought I'm taking a wild guess you have absolutely zero experience of a child with ASD.

@Iimaginethiswillbefun, I would suggest acknowledging her fears. It is bloody scary what's going on right now. What does she want to do to help the situation? Even small contributions will hopefully help her to cope and feel useful and more in control. Flowers

Memom · 17/08/2021 07:46

I feel for you, our daughter (also ASD) gets like this when seeing the news. One thing that worked was looking at BBC local I think it's called and looking at local good news stories. The newsround page has sections. We just talked through the balance of good and bad and how bad news seems to sell more. It didn't take away the doom aspect but it did help calm her a little.

Extraslice · 17/08/2021 07:47

Oh bless her. The news is really tough-going at the moment.
Turn it off today. Maybe time off her phone if she is looking at it on there? I am sure you’ve already done this, but talk about positive things in the world. Start a gratitude journal and get her to think of/write down 3 things before bed. Also I don’t know if you have seen this or whether it would be up her street, but I immediately thought of The Happy Newspaper
thehappynewspaper.com/?v=79cba1185463

cricketmum84 · 17/08/2021 07:47

@54321nought

don't stay up all night with her
This is the singular least helpful response I have ever seen.
EmpathyBypass · 17/08/2021 07:47

@54321nought

don't stay up all night with her

Blimey, aren't you brimming full of compassion?

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