Been up all night with DD who thinks world is ending

[Iimaginethiswillbefun]

Dd has ASD she has been up all night having a meltdown. She has been watching the news. Climate change, Afghanistan she wants to die. She says the world is ending and she can’t cope. How can I reassure her.

Can someone give me some guidance on ways to talk her down.

She says we need to get guns, store food and drink. She doesn’t want brother to go to university.

I am exhausted, she is exhausted. Help!

Also, get the calm app and get her to do some relaxation sessions before bed and listen to sleep stories. I have a great blue tooth sleep mask with speakers built in which helps me drift off to sleep when I am anxious.

I went through something similar with my son years ago, with the news, it was when the Brisbane floods happened, I feel your pain, only thing that calm my son down was tucked in bed with me and watching his favorite cheerful and happy shows, none stop and then off to doctor for a referral to see a asd psychologist and if they advice maybe medication, it's took a couple of years for him to feel normal again, poor love x

Watch out for the internet - I'm sure there's loads of American survivalist stuff on there to suck her in.

I just told my kids that the world and biological organisms including ourselves adapt. Look at history, dinosaurs roamed the earth and the climate changed and biological organisms adapted, then we had woolly mammoths and saber tooth tigers, then it warmed up and the ice melted and here we are and so it will go on. The advantage we have now is knowledge of science so even if we fuck it up so much then we will just colonise Mars in a some sort of big bubble until we have fucked that up and then will move on in technology again prob to other planets. Sure, lots of thinks we know now may eventually become extinct but there will be new things as things adapt and evolve to suit changed environments.

Re Afghanistan, yes it’s incredibly shit. While it seems unfair, as essentially a toss of the dice in the luck of where you are born, just reinforce she is safe in the UK and why that is.

Maybe shift her off the news onto things she enjoys. It is hard, I have one with ASD plus a whole heap of other stuff. They are an adult and do not do news or any crime shows on tv where people are hurt by other people. They over empathise and can’t cope so all of that is out. They watch lots of other stuff though and have many other interests which connects them to others with the same interests which they talk about. They have a highly respected professional job, but are just not the person you would talk about current affairs with.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

She needs some professional support for her anxiety. Please call your GP for starters.

Hahhhahaaa

I first took my DS to the GP about his anxiety aged 8 - he's now 13 - yet to see CAMHS. GP no help whatsoever, CAMHS turned us away at first, despite agreeing that he had anxiety, but they could only see children who had already attempted suicide due to lack of staff/appointments.
Thankfully he was accepted onto their pathway the second time we were referred but has been on the waiting list for TWO YEARS.

There is no immediate help from the NHS for children and teens with anxiety.

There's an amazing book called Human Kind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman which shows that the idea that all humans are inherently selfish and awful is the biggest misconception of all time - all evidence actually points to the contrary. And he shows how a big part of why we believe this is because we are constantly only shown the bad stuff in the news, even though the bad stuff is the exception not the rule. It's really easy and entertaining to read and I've found it so so helpful in countering anxiety about the state of our world. If she's a reader maybe you could get her a copy, or you could get an audiobook version?
Good luck xx www.waterstones.com/book/humankind/rutger-bregman/9781408898956

My anxiety used to be like that.

My Dad really helped me by explaining the facts, making sure I didn't listen to any news and told me he would tell me if there was something I needed to know.

Tough love doesn't work.

@Vanishun

I'm sorry. I think I'd have been the same that age. I'm autistic too.

I am flabbergasted by people saying you should have just sent her to bed - they've obviously never seen someone in a long meltdown. Or dealt with someone saying they're about to kill themselves with conviction. i've dealt with both and you can't just walk away easily.

I agree with the posts helping her start to prepare: talk about how to plan and tackle things as much as you can. She could also learn self defence, cooking, UK prepping lite stuff. That's helped me.

Agree. Some of those responses were absolutely ridiculous.

HI @Iimaginethiswillbefun

Can you have a cut off time for when the news has to go off?

Explain that with the news they look for the worst possible stories from around the world of 8 billion people and show that. The look for positive news stories and share them with her.

The focus on the positive things in your family, your immediate community, her school etc. Over balance the negative with more positive.

Good luck.

Clueless the suggestions about looking at history were with regards Afghanistan. I don't think anyone on here was suggesting the same re climate change

I found my older relatives to be a really useful source too starrynight.

To the person who said don't stay up all night. Wow. Let's hope you never have to look after anyone, not even a pet.

These kids have had hell for nearly two years now. We should be proud of them for handling this bombardment of shite they have endured.

I really hope your daughter feels better today. Keep up the good work you are a lovely mother.

@JaninesEyePatch That’s been my experience too

Disney and cocoa ffs! Really?

Some of the advice given is not appropriate for an autistic person. Referring back to other conflict only emphasises that many thousands of people will lose their lives, and many more will lose their liberty and have their way of living changed forever. If she's anything like me, she's probably more concerned about others than she is herself. Many of us on the autistic spectrum care very strongly for oppressed groups and others facing hardship.

It's very easy to get overwhelmed with the state of the world at the moment, and once she's past the initial catastrophising, many of her concerns are not unreasonable. The sad fact is that we have very little power to change them. But what we can do is look after ourselves, as without that we can't look after others. That definitely means restricting news/ Twitter etc, it's so easy to fall down a big hole of everything that's going on. And it can mean getting some fresh air, watching crappy TV, eating treat foods. Does she like crafting? I'm currently doing an embroidery "refugees welcome" sign. It's not going to change anything, but it gives me a positive focus and a tangible outcome.

@54321nought

Ahhh, you're the one who thought mental health problems weren't real.
Despite being a teacher.
Despite having experience with dyslexia.

Oh dear.

Not the brightest are you....

@ mswales
I just ordered that book, Human Kind, thanks very much for the recommendation, it looks really good, thank you.

Wouldn’t it help to give her the sense that she doing something?

Make a list of environmentally friendly decisions you will now start doing, write a letter to your MP asking for what they plan to do.
But some food and meds so she feels safer.

You cannot avoid the news, so you’ll need to work with her.

@54321nought

don't stay up all night with her

Aren't you a charmer. I hope you never find yourself in the same position.

Sorry, haven't rtft.
Does she have any issues with intrusive thoughts? This is a tricky situation as so many grim things are actually happening at the moment.
My DD is slightly younger but vulnerable to catastrophic thinking. We avoid watching the news too much!
We spend quite a lot of time off line doing simple things. Maybe try and get some of her focus onto more grounded thoughts and activities.
We've found CAHMS to be very helpful and have not experienced long waiting times. I think it varies enormously according to where you live.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

stop watching the news

You can't and it is a ridiculous suggestion.

Very few people still 'watch the news' it is something you can not get away from, it's on Twitter home page, Insta stories and Tik Tok, feeds on fb and notifications on phones, on front pages and on the radio. People talk about it, and the op daughter is 16. Pretending it isn't happening isn't an option

@JaninesEyePatch I work in the system so know how it goes. It differs vastly by area. I was asking what support op’s dd has in place so I can assist further. For example if she has an EHCP, there will often be routes to go down. Or an existing support worker assigned to her.

Decades of experience yet you think it's okay to leave a distressed children with ASD to be up all night on her own in meltdown. Glad you don't care for my child with ASD.

I can imagine how tired you are OP. I agree with previous posts, explain to your daughter about the news being the way it is so more people watch/click on it. Explain we have lived through hard times and the world hasn't ended before.

Maybe find ways she can help the causes she is passionate about by raising awareness. Does she have any activities she finds calming. For my son he likes watching as move in the wind, or blowing on things if ita not windy to see how they travel. If she likes art maybe she could get her feelings down on paper.

Sending unmumsnetty hugs.

Disney and cocoa ffs! Really?

Actually self care is really important when we're overwhelmed. That will be different for different people, but for me it would be putting on comforting clothes, eating chocolate and watching completely non thought provoking tv - basically removing any sensory (over)stimulation.

I would though recommend finding VERY GOOD private therapy if you can afford it. Can be life changing with waiting times as they are.