Come and play my made-up game

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

I will ask for advice, and you have to answer using only a quote from somewhere else on Mumsnet. Then you can ask for the next piece of advice. (best to quote the advice question you're answering in case there's cross-posting)

Okay, first question: What should I wear to my cousin's wedding?

*How can I get rid of my husband's annoying friend?

Get a big bag of monkey nuts and welcome them into the family. We have squiddly and diddly plus their 2 teenage squirrels to provide for now. They make me smile numerous times a day.

What are your best money saving tips?

How can I get rid of my husband's annoying friend?

Get a big bag of monkey nuts and welcome them into the family. We have squiddly and diddly plus their 2 teenage squirrels to provide for now. They make me smile numerous times a day.

What are your best money saving tips?

What are your best money saving tips?
Jelly Tots. Always second fiddle to fruit pastilles but they are far better.

What kind thing has someone done for you today?

What are your best money saving tips?

'I use fisherman's beds. They can be doubled as chairs during the day.
Very comfy.'

Why doesn't my DM seem to like my kids?

Why doesn't my DM seem to like my kids?

We have these but we put them away when we have guests as FIL thinks it makes the place look untidy

What do you always buy in your weekly shop?

What do you always buy in your weekly shop?

'250,000 £1 lottery scratch cards'

What is the best thing about your job?

What is the best thing about your job?

I almost never wear trousers.

What life skill should be taught in schools?

What life skill should be taught in schools?

'smoke weed while breastfeeding'

What was the biggest problem with your last holiday?

What was the biggest problem with your last holiday?

Difficult to choose just one…

I have to go with Philip Schofield.

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What's your motto in life?

What's your motto in life?

It's "knob", not "nob", you absolute KNOBS

What does your child do at nursery / preschool / creche?

What does your child do at nursery / preschool / creche?

Book group
Gardening
Trolling online message forums

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My manager is coming round for dinner - how can I make the dinner party go smoothly?

My manager is coming round for dinner - how can I make the dinner party go smoothly?

• tie a balloon on a piece of string round each persons ankle. Put on Xmas music. When the music stops you have to try to protect your balloon whilst trying to jump on other peoples to burst them! Last left with their balloon wins.

How can I increase my savings?

@FatJan

My manager is coming round for dinner - how can I make the dinner party go smoothly?

• tie a balloon on a piece of string round each persons ankle. Put on Xmas music. When the music stops you have to try to protect your balloon whilst trying to jump on other peoples to burst them! Last left with their balloon wins.

How can I increase my savings?

Genius!

How can I increase my savings?

'Bailiffs. Oh and a loan shark.'

What's the biggest dieting mistake people make?

What's the biggest dieting mistake people make?
Pork scratchings
Chorizo
Pancetta

How can I make my dull living room more interesting?

How can I make my dull living room more interesting?

spray coloured silly string/let balloons out of a box/fire confetti everywhere.

What was the reason for the last argument you had?

What was the reason for the last argument you had?

'A man knocked at the door and demanded that I show him my tits for an official survey. It turned out to be a scam. I felt so stupid.'

My neighbour is always gossiping. Is there anything I can do about it?

My neighbor is always gossiping. Is there anything I can do about it?

Hot wax is best in my opinion.

What should I plant in my garden to make it look more appealing from the street?

What should I plant in my garden to make it look more appealing from the street?

cultivate a money tree

Or

used condoms in the garden along with lots of rubbish and broken glass

What's the best job you've ever had?

What's the best job you've ever had?

“I had one in the past. Handy for collecting rain and spiders.”

Any good plans for the long weekend?

Any good plans for the long weekend?

thought of overthrowing the monarchy and becoming the first UK president

What's made you happy recently?

What's made you happy recently?

"The house two doors down was ablaze and one of the occupants had climbed onto next door’s roof to escape."

What's the best way to spend bank holiday Monday?

What's the best way to spend bank holiday Monday?

self hibernating in the garden

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What was your favourite game when you were a child?

What was your favourite game when you were a child?

'sprinkle the charcoal with baking powder, fill the pan with a little water (maybe an inch), bring to the boil and let sit over night. then scrub and repeat as long as neccessary'

What was your last fight with your mother about?

What was your last fight with your mother about?

She chewed the seats, the seat belt and the steering wheel. Cost me £1000

What is the best present you've ever received?