Help me explain why I can't leave DD at home

[shesellsseacats]

I'm taking DS to an activity. The original plan was for me to take him on his own, but DP was working until the small hours and has only had 5 hours sleep so far, so I want to let DP catch up with his sleep as he looked shattered before he even started last night, instead of waking him to look after DD.

DD wants to stay home and play computer. DS doesn't want her to come. I'm saying that she can't stay home as DP is asleep. They're asking what difference it is from when DD gets up at 6am and plays computer while we're all asleep.

Instinctively it feels different but I'm struggling to explain it!

How old are they?

Ages?

How old are they?

How old is DD?

Depends how old and if your DH would mind being woken up.

I'm not seeing the difference to be honest, unless DD is extremely young.

Presumably if there are any problems she can wake DP.

presuming she's small she plays in DH's bedroom.

How old is she?
My DD is 10 and if her DF is asleep after working nights and I have to go to work then I take her to a family member to be looked after.
I worry about her falling downstairs or choking on sweets.
Her DF thinks I'm mad.

Salient information missing from the OP here…

‘Daddy needs the house to himself for a bit.’

Completely age dependent.

How old??
I’d leave any child old enough to go to their father and wake them in an emergency.
With strict instructions about things they are and are not allowed to do.
I know I could trust mine to do this from about 6 onwards maybe even younger actually.

Is your DP their Dad?

If he is, you tell him he needs to wake up and deal with his child and if he doesn’t like it he should have managed his work time better.

If he isn’t, you just tell your dd and ds that they have to go together, they are children, they don’t get a choice, and you don’t owe them an explanation other than ‘it’s not possible for you to stay at home today because there is no one to look after you’.

what's the point of posting all of that without including children's ages?

are they 3 & 5?
no you can't leave them alone

are they 46 & 38?
ummmm

are they 11& 13?
maybe

If she's 11 or over, this is fine
If she's 7 or under, this is not fine.
If she's in the middle, I'd take a judgement.

@Noshowwithoutpunch

How old is she? My DD is 10 and if her DF is asleep after working nights and I have to go to work then I take her to a family member to be looked after. I worry about her falling downstairs or choking on sweets. Her DF thinks I'm mad.

You worry about a 10 yr old falling down stairs or choking on a sweet?

Really not OK, and stifling for your daughter. I genuinely suggest counseling.

If she is old enough to get up at 6am and play on the computer while you sleep she old enough to wake her dad up if necessarily.

If she can go and wake him in an emergency then it’s fine to leave her. You’re struggling to articulate it because there is no (good) reason not to leave her.

They're asking what difference it is from when DD gets up at 6am and plays computer while we're all asleep

I don't see that there is a difference. I think it's fine. It's not like she's home alone. And presumably had the ability to wake someone up if it's urgent. Which is unlikely to be.

Apologies, I thought I'd put her age!

DD is 8.

She’s ten! She’ll be fine. I thought you were talking about a toddler.

The computer is downstairs (it's a desktop so I can't move it) and DP is upstairs.

He wouldn't hear if she had an accident and called out for help, for example.

Oh I thought you said she was 10.

8 is fine also.

@Galassia

She’s ten! She’ll be fine. I thought you were talking about a toddler.

No, she's 8.

I would think she’d be fine.