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Original poster

Help me explain why I can't leave DD at home

199 replies

shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:09

I'm taking DS to an activity. The original plan was for me to take him on his own, but DP was working until the small hours and has only had 5 hours sleep so far, so I want to let DP catch up with his sleep as he looked shattered before he even started last night, instead of waking him to look after DD.

DD wants to stay home and play computer. DS doesn't want her to come. I'm saying that she can't stay home as DP is asleep. They're asking what difference it is from when DD gets up at 6am and plays computer while we're all asleep.

Instinctively it feels different but I'm struggling to explain it!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 10/08/2021 10:30

I think at 8 that's fine. If there's a problem she can wake him up, but if she's playing on the computer it seems unlikely she'd need to.

JSL52 · 10/08/2021 10:30

Depends on how mature she is.
I'd leave her a packed lunch so she doesn't mess around in the kitchen.
Also he won't be asleep all day will he ? Couple of hours to catch up.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 10/08/2021 10:30

she is 8 so you are struggling to explain it because you are being totally unreasonable.

a responsible adult is home. she can stay home. end of story

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Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:30

@NailsNeedDoing

Is your DP their Dad?

If he is, you tell him he needs to wake up and deal with his child and if he doesn’t like it he should have managed his work time better.

If he isn’t, you just tell your dd and ds that they have to go together, they are children, they don’t get a choice, and you don’t owe them an explanation other than ‘it’s not possible for you to stay at home today because there is no one to look after you’.

DP had to do the work last night, he's not at fault here.
OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/08/2021 10:30

Is DP not their father? So you don't expect him to be as responsive / aware?

What time should you be leaving?

BillyIsMyBunny · 10/08/2021 10:31

I don’t see the difference between her being awake with sleeping adults in the house at 6am and now? If he’s already had 5 hours sleep he only needs a couple more to have had a reasonable number of hours sleep, settle her with computer and snack and set DP an alarm for midday and I don’t see the problem?

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:31

@JSL52

Depends on how mature she is. I'd leave her a packed lunch so she doesn't mess around in the kitchen. Also he won't be asleep all day will he ? Couple of hours to catch up.
He'll likely be asleep till I wake him up, so the whole time we're out.

He's had trouble sleeping recently anyway and was absolutely shattered yesterday, even before he started work. Hence my reasoning that he needs a lie in today.

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 10/08/2021 10:31

If she isn't a sensible 8 year old then take her with you.

If she is a sensible 8 year old so is likely to just sit on her behind playing on the computer leave her. Make sure she has some food and drink next to her. She isn't being left unattended. Just make sure she knows an adult is upstairs, and leave a note next to your sleeping DP so he knows that she is in the house.

Bythemillpond · 10/08/2021 10:32

But what happen if you are both asleep

Do you get someone in to watch the children.
I don’t really see an issue. There is an adult in the house and if dd is playing computer games I am presuming then she is at least 8 or 9.

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:32

@SleepingStandingUp

Is DP not their father? So you don't expect him to be as responsive / aware?

What time should you be leaving?

DP is their father but a heavier sleeper than me.
OP posts:
Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:32

I should be leaving in 20 minutes.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2021 10:33

How long will you be out for?

bloodywhitecat · 10/08/2021 10:33

I don't see the problem, your DP has had 5 hours sleep so surely he can nap for a couple of hours while she stays home and plays?

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:33

@BillyIsMyBunny

I don’t see the difference between her being awake with sleeping adults in the house at 6am and now? If he’s already had 5 hours sleep he only needs a couple more to have had a reasonable number of hours sleep, settle her with computer and snack and set DP an alarm for midday and I don’t see the problem?
If he wasn't shattered before he started I'd agree. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep yesterday, before he started work.
OP posts:
Shitfuckcommaetc · 10/08/2021 10:33

She'll be fine, just go

SleepingStandingUp · 10/08/2021 10:33

@shesellsseacats

The computer is downstairs (it's a desktop so I can't move it) and DP is upstairs.

He wouldn't hear if she had an accident and called out for help, for example.

Would you when she gets up in the morning? Can you agree she plays in her room?

he should have managed his work time better i can't believe a pp thinks someone should finish WORK early so their kid can choose whether to stay at home or go out.

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:34

@ineedaholidaynow

How long will you be out for?
maybe 2 hours.
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 10/08/2021 10:34

It's the same as them being both up but your DP having a huge nap on the sofa the minute you go out the door.

LizziesTwin · 10/08/2021 10:34

I’d worry about her getting lonely, not accidents. She’s quite young to entertain herself for hours.

ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2021 10:34

Is she on the internet when you leave her on her own on the computer?

Bells3032 · 10/08/2021 10:34

honestly as long as there is an adult in the house who would wake up to a fire alarm etc i don't see how its any different to her being up early whilst you're still asleep.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/08/2021 10:34

Ultimately OP you might have to go with "because I don't want you here woth just Daddy when he needs to sleep. Get your coat on and get in the car".

AlwaysLatte · 10/08/2021 10:35

Well he's already had five hours so she'll be ok age 8 for a couple of hours surely, then he's still had a decent amount of sleep.

Original poster
shesellsseacats · 10/08/2021 10:35

Would you when she gets up in the morning? Can you agree she plays in her room?

Yes, I'm a light sleeper.

I like that you're thinking around the issue but the second we're out the door she'll be downstairs on that machine!

OP posts:
Nurseynoodles · 10/08/2021 10:36

DH sleeps with the door open and DD knows to be relatively quiet and call for him if in trouble.

Packed lunch so she doesn’t attempt any cooking unsupervised.