We've gone on holiday by mistake

[couchparsnip]

I feel like Withnail and I..
It's pouring with rain and we're staying on a farm in a really shoddy barn conversion. The bedroom door doesn't fit the frame so it doesn't shut.
There's no lock on the bathroom door.
The bathroom is accessed through a kid's bedroom so we have to creep through to go in the night and then wake up a grumpy teen to shower in the morning.
Shower goes intermittently cold.
Oven doesn't work and we like to cook.
The double bed was pushed against the wall so we moved it to get access both sides - and the skirting board fell off!
The TV is a wall mounted one but it's not mounted, just resting against the wall.
No bedside table, nowhere to hang clothes and nowhere to eat except on trays(which we had to buy) or an outside patio (see previous grumble about the weather).
There are several electrical violations we can spot - not least the outdoor patio light is powered by an ordinary plug set up outside and getting wetter by the second!
When I mentioned some of this to the owner he said the bathroom door lock was off because someone's kid was 'acoustic' and they had to come off.
We're chalking it up to experience and reporting to the company we booked through.

Anyone had worse. Make me feel better!

Trying to attach a photo of what made DS fall about laughing. There are similar notes all around.

We need more pics! Where about are you?

Oh gosh that sounds dreadful! We're there prior reviews or pictures? Any indication it would be this bad?

Poor you!

It sounds awful but I don't understand why it's a mistake.
Hopefully you're in a nice place generally and can do some fun things.
Perhaps the oven not working is a blessing if the electrics are so bad.

I mean most of that could be overlooked but all together it’s a bit annoying. I’d be upset most that the oven doesn’t work, what has he said about that?

@Debetswell

It sounds awful but I don't understand why it's a mistake. Hopefully you're in a nice place generally and can do some fun things. Perhaps the oven not working is a blessing if the electrics are so bad.

It's a famous line from a film! Withnail & I, it's an absolute classic, do watch it.

Do you have anything nice planned OP?
You have my total sympathy, we had an absolute nightmare with Ibis a few days ago.

You need to ask The Farmer! But not if you are from london.

Fuck the wellingtons and sink a few large gins, bound to make you feel better.

Nightmare! Just a thought, have you tried setting the time on the oven? the last holiday cottage we were in, the oven wouldn't turn on until the time was set.

Was it expensive @couchparsnip

How’s the fuel and wood situation?

Opps, missed a
?

One of the nice things about a holiday is coming home at the end! But and until then

Do you have any sherry and is there any risk of Uncle Monty joining you?

Tbh OP I'd sack it off and go home. Have some nice days out instead. Put in a claim via the booking agent stating unsafe accommodation.

Sounds like our honeymoon. A damp cottage in the Lakes in the pouring rain. My DH couldn't stand up in the place and everything was just wet, insole and out. We laughed like drains for 5 minutes, then I realised my cold was turning into a chest infection so we turned around and came home. We still laugh about it 36 years on!

I hope the weather gets better soon OP. If not for you and for the DC!

Most importantly, do you have enough of the finest wines available to humanity??

Op seriously if you notify the holiday company today and say you're going home for the reasons stated you may very well get a refund. Otherwise if you stay put you won't have a leg to stand on.

Obviously if you're prepared to put up with it, then crack on, but as you've said you'd do already, put in a complaint as these companies need to be told.

I said the same thing to my DH when we arrived at our very 70s spartan holiday cottage (touted as luxury) We have paid a lot of money to be in a less nice house than ours, with less space and worse facilities. A lot of wine was drunk!

Is the heating on? I highly recommend covering yourselves in emollient to keep warm.

Are you expecting any visitors?

Wow. I’m sorry, that sounds horrid. I have had worse, but not in the industrialised west. Had quite a similar experience in Lesotho, plus rats and minus electricity, if that helps.

I think what you need are the finest wines available to humanity…..

This is why I spend hours researching my holidays (and often a small fortune!)

Because holidays are just too precious to risk on a shit hole.

Take lots of photos of everything faulty. We stayed in a cottage so bad we had to leave after two nights as it was making DS ill. Thanks to having lots of photos we managed to get a full refund.

Hope you manage to enjoy your break other than the accommodation

Where did you find this destination???

It sounds like a holiday we went on once. We still look back and laugh like drains about how terrible it was, honestly OP you are literally making memories. Hang in there.

We're going camping today. I expect everything to be wet by the time we've set up the tents.

someone's kid was 'acoustic'

🤣

I feel this tells you all you need to know about the owner