We've gone on holiday by mistake

[couchparsnip]

I feel like Withnail and I..
It's pouring with rain and we're staying on a farm in a really shoddy barn conversion. The bedroom door doesn't fit the frame so it doesn't shut.
There's no lock on the bathroom door.
The bathroom is accessed through a kid's bedroom so we have to creep through to go in the night and then wake up a grumpy teen to shower in the morning.
Shower goes intermittently cold.
Oven doesn't work and we like to cook.
The double bed was pushed against the wall so we moved it to get access both sides - and the skirting board fell off!
The TV is a wall mounted one but it's not mounted, just resting against the wall.
No bedside table, nowhere to hang clothes and nowhere to eat except on trays(which we had to buy) or an outside patio (see previous grumble about the weather).
There are several electrical violations we can spot - not least the outdoor patio light is powered by an ordinary plug set up outside and getting wetter by the second!
When I mentioned some of this to the owner he said the bathroom door lock was off because someone's kid was 'acoustic' and they had to come off.
We're chalking it up to experience and reporting to the company we booked through.

Anyone had worse. Make me feel better!

Those sockets! Literally hair raising!

well i'm enjoying your holiday. Thank you for having a sense of humour about it.

Reminds me of a time I had booked a holiday then got my dates mixed up and almost forgot to go! Tossed some gear in the car, grabbed the kids and shot off at speed around 5pm, picking up hot chips at the last available takeaway en route.

The location was exquisite and the house was enormous, but the weather was dreadful. It rained heavily for four days straight, the garden was a swimming pool. Inside we managed to dislodge both bathroom doors, one falling onto one of the children.

I had chosen the spot specifically for its ancient lighthouse as my little one was at that point very taken with lighthouses. I have one photo from that holiday - the children standing in front of said lighthouse, holding on for dear life as they were whipped raw by wind and rain.

Funnily enough they remember that holiday very fondly!

though they are putting a few things right i would definitely complain when you get home a part refund is the least I would accept.
Then put it on Tripadvisor so they dont hoodwink people again.
In the meantime have good days out find some nice places to eat or at least decent takeaways and chalk it down to experience

I think the signs are an original David Shrigley art work.

parklifestore-webstore.com/collections/shrigley?gclid=CjwKCAjwgb6IBhAREiwAgMYKRleFDo-Jt7olEXtMhCUZs3_i70T995J4GuJOXXbyOrIDQJFDXwFioxoCay0QAvD_BwE

Probably the best film ever

O dear. We stayed at a B and B on a farm last year. Arrived, opened the window, went to dinner, came back to 25 large flys in the room. Made DH kill every one before I went to sleep. Grim.

I booked somewhere with extended family a few years ago. Horrible musty smell as we walked in and it had clearly been a B&B in a previous life. It didn’t have enough of anything to fit the number of people in the house (plates, knives, forks etc). 2 of the bathrooms had non-flushing toilets.

Owner was in France on holiday!

We lasted 2 days, I contacted him and said that it was unacceptable and we were leaving and wanted our money back. He didn’t even bother replying and I had to take him to smallclaims.

We drove past a few years later and it had been demolished!

Has anyone threatened you with a dead fish yet?

We had a New Years holiday Jointly with friends, we had 2 toddlers and a 9 year old between us. We didn't realise at first that the the lovely cottage we had booked in the lake district, had been flooded then frozen, it was only when we lit the fires and the carpets began to ooze water, that we realised. It took severeal trips back and forth over Kirkstone pass, with a car sick and asthmatic toddler to sort out alternative accommodation with the office in Windermere. We did end up in a lovely luxury appartme.nt on an estate overlooking the lake, with underfloor heating and a balcony, so it all ended well!

Invite him to turn the outside light on, in the rain... just to see if it works

This is THE year for UK tourism and often very shit it is too. Cornwall in particular have become very greedy and this is a one off for them. Next year people will refuse to pay the comedy prices and jet off abroad which will be cheaper and by far the most important thing - the weather will be guaranteed.

The weather makes such a difference. Good weather means that you need to spend less time in your accommodation (not that that is an excuse for a place like this).

Loving the Withnail quotes.
DH is off to Tesco so I of course said "I demand to have some booze!".

reviews: see my previous posts about personal recommendation. We thought we could trust them!

Sorry you are having to deal with a lot of beastly mud and oomska, OP.
Are the Penrith Tearooms anywhere nearby?

@DinosaurDiana

I’ve stayed in some disgusting places in the UK. That’s why I’m at home right now. 5* abroad or nothing !

That's down to your bad planning then. There are many, many fabulous places in the UK.

I went on a holiday like this once! We laughed so hard during it and it's become our go-to source of holiday mishaps stories ever since.

Keep taking the pictures. One day you'll be a bit tipsy and showing them to a pub load of friends while they all laugh their socks off.

As I used to say to customers on forrin holidays back in the 90s when their faces were tripping them and they were complaining about every little thing cos it was raining,……would any of these issues be ‘as bad’ if it was sunny and warm?

The whole setup sounds positively life-threatening I would get out of there after taking lots of photographs if I was you.

My first thought when I saw the *light
But why on earth would you write on the walls ( unless you are planing on wall papering over it )

This was a recommendation from a friend!

Oh no no no no - never do this. Some friends and I went to a cottage in the middle of nowhere on the recommendation of a work friend. I've never seen anything like it in my life. There we were, stood in a field looking for our "beautiful, chocolate box cottage" and all we could see was a wee brown hovel which we quickly realised was where we were going to be staying. Damp beds, no fridge (had to keep the wine in cold water) and mice in the living room. We didn't even last til morning and buggered off to a hotel.

I booked a surprise holiday for DH a few years ago. It was a fisherman's cottage in Cornwall with luxury bathroom and en-suite shower room. Or so I thought. The bath was a normal one with a 2" wide mosaic edging all around it so you had to climb over it to get in, the en-suite shower was a shower tray in the corner of the bedroom an with a curtain round it and as you stepped out of the bathroom or bedroom there was a steep drop onto the stairs! We didn't stay!

And to top it all I trod in dog shit outside the cottage and had to throw my favourite boots away as we had no way of cleaning them and didn't want them in the car!

@couchparsnip

I feel like Withnail and I.. It's pouring with rain and we're staying on a farm in a really shoddy barn conversion. The bedroom door doesn't fit the frame so it doesn't shut. There's no lock on the bathroom door. The bathroom is accessed through a kid's bedroom so we have to creep through to go in the night and then wake up a grumpy teen to shower in the morning. Shower goes intermittently cold. Oven doesn't work and we like to cook. The double bed was pushed against the wall so we moved it to get access both sides - and the skirting board fell off! The TV is a wall mounted one but it's not mounted, just resting against the wall. No bedside table, nowhere to hang clothes and nowhere to eat except on trays(which we had to buy) or an outside patio (see previous grumble about the weather). There are several electrical violations we can spot - not least the outdoor patio light is powered by an ordinary plug set up outside and getting wetter by the second! When I mentioned some of this to the owner he said the bathroom door lock was off because someone's kid was 'acoustic' and they had to come off. We're chalking it up to experience and reporting to the company we booked through.

Anyone had worse. Make me feel better!

anyone had worse?

Yes I once accidentally booked Pontins lol we stayed a grand totally of 6 hours out of 7 days.

I’m staying in a student shithole in Glasgow
Even the beds weren’t made - we had to do it all

My kids kept waking me up - they’re 12
My husband is now catching up on sleep while I sit here watching Netflix
It’s pishing down
My younger son feel sick

I can’t wait to go home
😂😂

I need to watch that film again now , great film

You should be ok if you have cake and fine wine.

(Seriously, I'd be on my way home and sending a complaint).

Watch out if you have to cross any fields locally, especially if carrying bags of shopping. There might be a bull.

Ask for a refund of what % seems fair. If not, chargeback. I assume you were wise enough to pay with a card.