We've gone on holiday by mistake

[couchparsnip]

I feel like Withnail and I..
It's pouring with rain and we're staying on a farm in a really shoddy barn conversion. The bedroom door doesn't fit the frame so it doesn't shut.
There's no lock on the bathroom door.
The bathroom is accessed through a kid's bedroom so we have to creep through to go in the night and then wake up a grumpy teen to shower in the morning.
Shower goes intermittently cold.
Oven doesn't work and we like to cook.
The double bed was pushed against the wall so we moved it to get access both sides - and the skirting board fell off!
The TV is a wall mounted one but it's not mounted, just resting against the wall.
No bedside table, nowhere to hang clothes and nowhere to eat except on trays(which we had to buy) or an outside patio (see previous grumble about the weather).
There are several electrical violations we can spot - not least the outdoor patio light is powered by an ordinary plug set up outside and getting wetter by the second!
When I mentioned some of this to the owner he said the bathroom door lock was off because someone's kid was 'acoustic' and they had to come off.
We're chalking it up to experience and reporting to the company we booked through.

Anyone had worse. Make me feel better!

Omg that’s horrendous! You need to be extra careful with the electrics as it is dangerous. I would definitely complain to the council.

The worst place we stayed in since I was a student and stayed in the centre of Paris for a tenner a night (communal loo and you had to ask for the key to the shower) was when I booked us a midweek in a Park Resorts chalet for £70 several years ago. It was an extra holiday we couldn’t normally have afforded. Dd was about 7, shes 13 now. Chalets have been demolished now. I knew what we were letting ourselves in for. Dh moaned a lot. But it was in October half term so much more pleasant than a caravan even though everything inside was incredibly dated. We were warm as toast and got to take our then dog. Plus it was near a Butlins. So for me, a total win.

Apparently the farmer did up this place really quickly to make more cash. It shows!

Sounds about right - too many greedy but incompetent owners are making the very most of Covid

Trouble is, UK stays may come to be associated with "that horrible time", and while they'll do okay ATM folk will avoid them like the plague in future
And some will only have themselves to blame ...

I can recommend the Bliss Hotel on the front in Southport if you fancied moving elsewhere. It’s a lovely place, just a bit up from the pier.

We've come on holiday by mistake...

@SheldontheWonderSchlong

Do not use those outside plugs - I have a hunch they were not professionally installed!! I think one of them not being level gives it away.....

🤣🤣

Oh yes; I have had worse! I remember taking a gang of teenagers (mine + assorted friends) to a holiday house. It was so filthy that they slept on the floor rather than in the disgusting beds! And teenagers are usually somewhat oblivious to such things. The oven was full of grease and spiders' webs; and the pans were pock-marked with ingrained dirt; a socket was hanging off the wall. The whole place was filthy.

We gave up on it and found two caravans on a nearby site that were vacant, so decamped there.

I was furious - it was owned by people living near us - the advert was in the parish mag. They were stinking rich. I heard later that they had let it to someone else when we decamped! Bloody cheeck.

@Marmitemarinaded

This is why I spend hours researching my holidays (and often a small fortune!)

Because holidays are just too precious to risk on a shit hole.

Me too.

After 30 plus years of planning holidays I don't take a chance on anything. I check for coffee tables to have supper on, wardrobes to hang clothes, check reviews, scan every photo for issues, check Google maps for the surroundings and double check for appliances and wifi. We haven't had a bad holiday for years now.

You need to demand to have more booze.

You have my sympathies. I’ve had a Withnail holiday with two kids, perma rain and a remote flat tyre plus I hurt my back quite badly. Terrible business!

@Hopeisallineed

I was trying to work out what he meant by acoustic, have now only just got it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Me too

You need a Camberwell Carrot to take the edge off how awful it is. It sounds grim for holiday accommodation.

OP, I doubt, looking at the state of the electrical fitments, that he can have an electrical safety certificate — you might want to ask to see it. I don't know any electrician worth their salt that would be happy to leave the boxes at that angle. You also say the place has a gas oven and that he's going to replace it today. Is he doing that himself or is he having a gas engineer to check it? He'll need all gas appliances checking and a certificate to ensure that they are safe and not producing carbon monoxide. Is there a carbon monoxide monitor?

If this was rented through a holiday cottage company then they'd need safety certs etc. I don't know whether Airbnb require them, possibly not.

@MotherofPiggies

The handwritten signs are making me laugh. Reminds me of a stay in a cottage a couple of years ago. I got up in the night to use the toilet and ended up in a heap on the floor with a twisted ankle. Only saw the helpful signs in the morning!

I wish the holiday home we stayed in a few years back had signs like that. Within 5 minutes of arriving I fell down the 3 steps to the bedroom area and tore a ligament in my foot. The tiles on the step and the tiles on the floor lined up precisely and the steps were invisible. I couldn't put on shoes for two days and couldn't walk far all holiday. The property was lovely though.

@cooldarkroom

Invite him to turn the outside light on, in the rain... just to see if it works

She'll never get her money back if he's dead.

Oh gosh I’ve been in similar. Once the toilet was on a septic tank thing (toilet was upstairs) and the whole thing must have kept getting blocked because we kept getting the most dreadful smell all across the top floor of the house. The owner tried to sort it out but the next day it was the same again- absolutely stunk!
Just go out OP- think of some indoor places and go out as much as possible sightseeing

@knittingaddict yes this is me. I also go on street view and walk around the whole area on foot!

Yes I think greed is going to come back and bite a lot of these owners on the bum. Some things aren't ideal but are liveable - no bathroom door lock, make sure you knock. Bathroom off a bedroom isn't ideal but it's a week so soon be over. However the general standard of accommodation can be quite poor, I expect things to be clean, usable and safe. I posted this on another thread but I have just got back and these were some of the niggles - no potato peeler so we had to go buy one, I'm guessing that the rubbish one we also had to buy 7 years ago (and was last sighted 3 years ago) went missing and was never replaced, 2 large soda glasses then just wine glasses, cracked plate, unusable kettle, 4 garden chairs for a 5 person property, also dinner table that only sat 4. I put up with it as we booked last year and so got it at a reasonable price, next year they want double the price, they need to up their game.

That outdoor socket is awful and not the correct socket type for outdoor usage.

I'd complain to airBnb with photos and demand money back. Essentially that outdoor socket is a terrible accident waiting to happen. The farmer should not be making money from that property until it is fully safe.

Double the price? Greed.

Sounds awful OP, definitely complain to Airbnb.

I think an evening at the Crow...

Not sure I should have read this, we’re leaving to go on holiday for 3 days in an hour and now I’m terrified! We booked very quickly, had to be dog friendly and that was pretty much all we required. I’ll update later!

There was other things, that is just a selection.

I stayed in a place in California which was basically a converted garage. Looked like it had been converted by an enthusiastic 12 year old, there were big rusty nails hanging out everywhere, 'art' work and nicknaks all over the place, wonky floors and an electric socket that actually made a fizzing noise. DC were about 9 and 6 at the time, if they'd been toddlers we'd have had to decamp immediately. As it was we stayed one night and moved on our way as it was a road trip anyway.
I've had worse than that but that was in developing countries when I was traveling 20 or so years ago. One memorable place in Peru had cardboard covering the smashed window, sweat stained (and I mean really really sweat stained) damp mattresses and actually shit all around the shared squat toilets/ shower area. I got a horrible stomach bug while I was there.

Definitely report the electrical concerns on the local authority.

My worst stay was in a cottage in a Scottish seaside resort that looked good in the pictures, but turned out to be on a very grotty housing estate, and the town itself (described online as charming) had seen better days and was in gentle decline. The parking spot was not close.

The bathroom was on the ground floor, with a window straight on to the street, and had no curtain/blind.

There was a washing machine but no means of drying anything - no tumble drier, no airing cupboard, no airers, no working radiators, no outside space.

The china and cutlery were all mismatched and old.

We left a day early.

We booked a cottage in an upmarket coastal town from the editor of a Christian publication. This was pre-internet days so no way of previewing. It was their second home so all the cupboards were full of their stuff so nowhere to hang out clothes or put food away. Someone even rang up to speak to them and to borrow a mattress. We had to wash all the crockery, cutlery and kitchen equipment before we used them because they were thick with black grease. The floor was filthy. We were asked to leave it in the same state we found it. So we did (with added Labrador hair).

Booze. You need more booze.

Sorry if someone beat me to it