Is there anywhere where women don't get pestered and harassed by men?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

I feel like in every single environment, public space, workplace etc theres men standing in the wings waiting to harass, peste and intimidate women. I'm nearly 40 and I remember dealing with this shit as a teenager and expecting it to get better - but it hasn't.

We know what it's like for women being harassed on the street and where that leads to - 2 out of 3 girls aged 14 to 21 have experienced harassment but I'm actually surprised it's not higher (it probably is in real life I don't know a single woman who's never experienced harassment) source: https://plan-uk.org/act-for-girls/street-harassment

My niece, who is 18, works at a fast food restaurant and was telling me yesterday that she has to deal with creeps on every single shift. Not just male colleagues invading her personal space, touching her back etc - but she has had to get her manager on more than one occasion to ask a drive thru customer to leave the premises because he won't drive away until she gave him her phone number. She's handed her notice in because the harassment has got so bad and is looking to do factory work where she doesn't have to deal with the public.

I am 20 years older than her and deal with it too even now. I have a game on my phone that I play thats a community based game - eg you can interact with others, swap items, go into each others 'worlds' etc. It's linked to my Facebook so a tiny version of my profile picture comes up next to my username, so people can see I'm female. I get about 15 messages from men a day ranging from explicit, which I report, to "hi lovely can we chat". I just want to play the fucking game without having to sift through creepy messages.

Where the fuck do men get off behaving like this? Who told them it was ok? The above are just 2 examples but it seems to be everywhere.

I feel like the onus is on all women to change too - change jobs, change our profile pictures, don't walk down certain streets, don't walk alone at night etc. No one ever talks about the onus being on all men

And yes NAMALT, but far too many are and it seems to be normalised, and maybe the "men who arent like that" should do their bit to help women and start calling out the men who are?

I was harrassed by men from 15 - 43, then I became invisible. What a relief to be invisible!

It's not my experience. It happens occasionally but I don't find it's an everyday thing. I'm sorry to hear of your experience though.

@ilovesooty

It's not my experience. It happens occasionally but I don't find it's an everyday thing. I'm sorry to hear of your experience though.

This

@ilovesooty

It's not my experience. It happens occasionally but I don't find it's an everyday thing. I'm sorry to hear of your experience though.

Same. It happens but its certainly not a frequent occurance.

I was walking my dog yesterday morning when a car blasted its horn, I looked up and a car full of men were all waving at me like maniacs and then laughed their heads off when I looked confused. (Because I didn’t know any of them) then a few seconds later I heard the blast again. Turned round and yes, there was another woman being pestered. Between the woman and me there were two men walking. They didn’t get blasted.

Those places are getting smaller and rarer now that single sex spaces/ groups are being stripped from women and girls under the drive for ‘inclusivity’. There is little sympathy for what you describe op, or for the reasons why women and girls might like single sex spaces.

i remember when I was mid forties commenting to a colleague how men no longer cat called. She assured me they still did. Since then it has never happened to me. However, so many kind men help me reach stuff in supermarkets, offer to carry purchases to the car and are generally lovely. It is very nice to see how many good men ( and women) are out there.

I’m in my 30s and never get harassed by men, getting fat works!

It happens to me daily, and I won't disrespect myself for looking at myself as to why this happens. I know it's because the majority of men (and I would even go as far as to say all men) don't respect women, and our boundaries. Most men believe women exist for their pleasure and convenience. It disgusts me.

I’m nearly 40 and have looks and beeps often.
I would say it’s a daily occurrence.

@PumpkinKlNG

I’m in my 30s and never get harassed by men, getting fat works!

Overweight women are also harassed.

Age, race, body type... none of this matters. Men are still harassing women, and it needs to change and the onus is on men.

Well I don’t get harassed ever so 🤷‍♀️ I assume it’s my weight as it stopped happening once I got fat

@korawick12345 no, daily occurrence for me unfortunately. Wish it was bullshit. Only time it doesn't happen is my day off work, but even then there have been times when I've had my day off, gone out and still been harassed. Just because it's not your experience, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Since being fat I’ve become invisible to men.

Harassing women is nothing to do with looks because it’s nothing to do with sexual attraction. Anyone who thinks they get harassed because the man fancies them is kidding themselves.

I don't recognise the grim picture you're painting, OP, and I'd wager it's not the experience of the majority of woman.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen ...

@MotionActivatedDog

Harassing women is nothing to do with looks because it’s nothing to do with sexual attraction. Anyone who thinks they get harassed because the man fancies them is kidding themselves.

I don't think women think it's because they're attractive. I think I'm pretty average looking. I think the only reason this happens to me is because I'm a woman. I don't understand the women saying "I'm overweight", "I'm old" like it means anything. You can still be harassed. Majority of the time it's just a power trip for these men.

[quote sfeirical]@korawick12345 no, daily occurrence for me unfortunately. Wish it was bullshit. Only time it doesn't happen is my day off work, but even then there have been times when I've had my day off, gone out and still been harassed. Just because it's not your experience, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. [/quote]
Sorry I wasn’t saying your experience was bullshit, I have no reason to disbelieve you. I was saying the conclusion you have drawn about men are bullshit

I think the only reason this happens to me is because I'm a woman. I don't understand the women saying "I'm overweight", "I'm old" like it means anything. You can still be harassed. Majority of the time it's just a power trip for these men.

Exactly.

It is interesting though how some women are saying it happens to them everyday sometimes multiple times a day and other women are saying it rarely if ever happens

Why do you think that is?

@korawick12345 am I supposed to have a different conclusion?

Men of every age, race, career... all taking time out of their day to harass a woman simply because she's a woman. I can't think there's any other reason.

So, it's on men and until this changes, my opinion of all men won't change.

@korawick12345

It is interesting though how some women are saying it happens to them everyday sometimes multiple times a day and other women are saying it rarely if ever happens

Why do you think that is?

A lot of women want to believe it could never happen to them. Makes them feel safer, feel more powerful, feel they're different from the women it happens to.

Truth is, it's probably happened to them they've just been conditioned to accept it in a misogynistic, patriarchal society.

I think you're a man anyway, so will stop interacting with you. I don't interact with men unless strictly necessary.

Interesting response!

So you are suggesting that all the women stating that it happens rarely are simply brainwashed and somehow too stupid to notice it happening. Can you not see how misogynistic that is?

@korawick12345

Interesting response!

So you are suggesting that all the women stating that it happens rarely are simply brainwashed and somehow too stupid to notice it happening. Can you not see how misogynistic that is?

No, we do minimise trauma. Once we realise how deeply misogynistic men are, and how much they hate women for simply existing, life really does feel hopeless. Ignorance can be bliss. We really want to believe it wouldn't happen to us. I've done it myself, and I know a lot of women who have realised later in life something they experienced was harassment/assault etc.

You can call me a misandrist gladly, but I'm far from misogynistic.