Rich mums who don't like spending, at all.

[blarbed2]

This is just a chatty observation. Has anyone experienced having friends who are rich (like millionaires) but who are really, really tight with money? I'm not rich by the way, just have a middily income family and happen to live in a well-off area where some people are loaded.

I just find it quite strange. I have a couple of friends who are really down-to-earth, and you would never guess how rich they are. One, for example, lives in a house worth about 2 million, and they are in the middle of massive renovations. However, for years she has always been scraping around for second-hand stuff and her kids wear clothes until they are sizes too small. When we go out on day trips, I can tell she's reluctant to do ice-creams, rides, parking costs, etc.

I admire being frugal - I am myself. But although our lifestyle is modest we have the cash to enjoy ourselves a bit now and then in small ways (posting on the back of a playdate, day-trip today that has been a bit eye-brow raising when it comes to money attitudes).

I don’t socialise with anyone who has that kind of wealth but I often find the most generous people are those who have nothing themselves. Being frugal is fine, being tight is an awful trait

I had a pal like this. Very, very wealthy business owner who started their business from scratch and humble beginnings. She had a shitty husband and I think she realised that a lot could be taken away at short notice. She bought her son a house but at the same time would collect used tin foil, etc to use again. It’s eco friendly but I think she was perpetually fearful of potential rougher times.

I went to a famously 'posh' university and while not everyone there was wealthy, what I did learn was that there seemed to be an inverse relation between how much money they had and how tight they were about it. One friend/acquaintance was quite boastful about his multimillion pound trust fund, and has never worked after university, which made it a bit irritating that he never, ever got a drink in return. I guess getting their round in wasn't how his family got so rich!

People don't get rich by wasting their money on ice cream. I'm not rich but I buy a months worth of magnums in Iceland for the cost of 4 on a day out. We never buy overpriced food / snacks on day trips.

You just don't know what people's out goings are, DH brother is always making snide remarks about how we are rich, yes I now have a good income but that has only been for a year in that time we've been paying off debt and moved house so actually have less disposable income than we should (a choice we made as we will soon be alright).

Also because for years we were broke we both find it really hard not to go into default mode and not spend.

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

People don't get rich by wasting their money on ice cream. I'm not rich but I buy a months worth of magnums in Iceland for the cost of 4 on a day out. We never buy overpriced food / snacks on day trips.

I know I made the flippant comment above my old friend's family not getting rich from buying rounds above, but realistically people don't get rich from not buying ice cream either. They get it from their families, earn it or - most commonly - get a huge step up from their families but then claim they earned it all single-handedly.

A cousin is forever looking for cast offs, free favours, to borrow stuff but is very comfortable. I do find it a bit weird that she never wants to pay for anything

I local nursery was offering a used play item for free, I couldn't believe it when an acquaintance asked for it - firstly, his child is newborn and secondly, his father is a multi millionaire and he lives mortgage free in an affluent area, they are not short of cash!

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

People don't get rich by wasting their money on ice cream. I'm not rich but I buy a months worth of magnums in Iceland for the cost of 4 on a day out. We never buy overpriced food / snacks on day trips.

Neither do I. I do the same as you when it comes to food. Our families all took packed lunches today. We rarely buy ice-creams out, so it's a treat. However, there's being frugal....then there's being so tight that it affects you ability to enjoy life. I mean.....parking?? It's also a constant trend with her, which seems odd considering how they are currently erecting sculptures in their garden, etc.

I suspect that with some people it's about looking rich and having 'stuff' like property, and expensive cars (they do).

You just don't know what people's out goings are,

Yes but you can have an indication. My cousin bought a 1.6m house (helped onto the ladder by her parents) but gets annoyed that her parents can't provide free childcare or babysitting & resents paying for it.

She always asks me to babysit & Im like just pay someone!

Yep I've noticed this too- my wealthiest friends and family are the tightest, the most generous ones have less. The rich stay rich, I suppose.

Sometimes when you spend loads of money on one thing, like a house, it means you have less left than if you'd bought a cheaper house.

She also another cousins Netflix log in & someone's else Prime. She asked for my Sky but I said no.

I have multi millionaire family members (think 35 mil). They're not tight as such, will happily pay a round or a dinner or go on a couple of holidays a year but they do buy a lot of second hand clothes for enviromental reasons (they're a bit hippy) and they budget their childrens outgoings. They grew up poor and want their children to grow up knowing the worth of money and being able to take care of themselves later on and not rely on the inheritance. A lesson worth learning I guess. You never know what the future holds.

If you're in a financially controlling relationship you may not have money of your own to spend, as the controlling partner has it all and gives a minimal amount away to be spent, or holds the bank cards.

Consider this always before thinking people are tight. It's much more common than people know, and very embarrassing for the person. They may even be the wage earner yet still not have access to money.

I think there are enough threads on here about women married to very wealthy but financially controlling men, that I would really try not to judge.

And before you say you know their relationship and financial situation inside out, unless you are her or him, you don't.

I admire being frugal - I am myself. But although our lifestyle is modest we have the cash to enjoy ourselves a bit now and then in small ways (posting on the back of a playdate, day-trip today that has been a bit eye-brow raising when it comes to money attitudes)

Maybe they use their cash to enjoy themselves doing different things ?

I was raised to spend money on things that last and keep their value, but be very frugal on things that keep no value, or depreciate.

So I have some v expensive handbags, but their resell cost is high. However my clothes are very cheap, especially the more "current" stuff. The trendier it is, the less money I spend on it, we're talking Tesco.

The kids are head to toe in supermarket clothes. They burn through them so why waste money. And fake supermarket Crocs are just as good as real ones! We get lots of hand-me-downs and I'm super grateful.

Holidays are for making memories, but they are also transient, and money sinkholes, so we generally spend as little as possible on those. We generally visit family.

We shop in Aldi and I spend very little on skincare and makeup and whatnot.

However things like furnishings and appliances we are happy to spend money on.

Basically my desire is to save as much as possible and to dig into savings as little as possible.

Maybe she's spending all her money on really expensive house renovations.

A friend of mine is a sahm, husband works hard and earns extremely well. They go in expensive foreign holidays and live in a lovely big house in a lovely area. They do not want for money at all, but my friend is really odd about money. Every time we meet up I’ve tried to buy a round of coffee for the two of us thinking it would be nice for us to take turns, but she is always really against this I suspect because she is worried that somehow she might end up paying for a more expensive drink that she’s not benefiting from. I’m not rich by any stretch but I don’t mind if I pay an extra £2 here or there because I think it’s more sociable to pay that way. It’s a different mindset I guess.

@New2ctc

If you're in a financially controlling relationship you may not have money of your own to spend, as the controlling partner has it all and gives a minimal amount away to be spent, or holds the bank cards.

Consider this always before thinking people are tight. It's much more common than people know, and very embarrassing for the person. They may even be the wage earner yet still not have access to money.

Also for @TooWicked This has crossed my mind actually. I've not had any hint of this, but then you never know. If it's the case, then he's making her spend her own money on everything she ever does with the children. She actually works for his company, which would make it worse. The amount they are splurging on their property and flashy 'objects' for the garden and house, would therefore be a a bit sickening if he is controlling her cash.

We rent our home and dont have much at all, but my children wear the nicest clothes & the best holidays that we save all we can for. I drive a bog standard car so I know that I can afford rides ice creams for them etc. I get people want to save but what's the point in having a nice lifestyle and being tight towards your own children?

I would also try not to judge, everyone is different. I live in a large house but our disposable income has never been very high and I have gladly accepted all manner of hand me downs and bought second-hand. I hope I am not a round dodger!

I’m not that wealthy but we have good jobs and lots of disposable income. I try and buy 2nd hand where possible due to eco reasons. Not all clothes can withstand the rest of time but my DS school shorts are currently on their 4th child! I find it a bit immoral to not look at 2nd hand first.