Is it the norm for mums to look mortified when women change in the female changing room?

[Rosewaterblossom]

I joined a fitness club this month and have using the gym. The club has a pool/sauna etc, the usual stuff, gym and classes. There are male, female and family changing facilities which you use whatever activity. The club does family swim times.

Today I went to the gym and had a shower/got changed after work when the family swim time was on. I was in the female changing room and a few women were getting changed naked etc, not prancing around showing off, I just mean boobs/fanjo out when changing.

I noticed a few of the mums looking mortified and getting their children to look the other way and even heard one "tut". Is this normal? I don't mean they should let their kids stand and stare which would be weird, but the mums looked very uncomfortable to the point it appeared the women getting changed in the nude was wrong.

Is this the normal?

Thanks.

Well they can change where the facilities are for them

But yes if they don't want to see naked women then agree they've made a poor choice!!

I agree in general...

I do think that single sex is needed though for the privacy etc of both sexes.

Not many teenagers for example would feel at all comfy getting naked in a mixed sex area regardless of their sex.

Additionally a sadly not small minority of men do exhibit sexually dodgy behaviour and younger children are not equipped to understand how and why it's normal there but tell someone time there.

[quote Frazzledd]@SunshineCake Thank you! I've been made aware.....apologies for my lack of MN olde vagina lingo

Off to the penis section....'dongflong'? '[/quote]
Now that's new .

@Mumoftwoinprimary

To be fair it can be a bit of a nightmare in changing rooms with kids:-

“Mummy - that lady has a hairy bottom!”
“Mummy - that lady has enormous boobies”
“Mummy - why does that lady have writing on her back? Oh. Can I have a tattoo? Oh. When can I have a tattoo? Why don’t you have a tattoo?”

I solved the problem - I decided that dh could be the swimming parent instead!

Haha, so now he gets the same questions about men’s hairy bottoms and enormous bollocks.

This all sounds horrendous. All our local
Council pools and gyms have cubicles
for changing. Same for showering (other than a communal area for a quick rinse after swimming if that's all you want). You'd never expect/be expected to undress in front of strangers. There are family changing cubicles too which solves the problem of which DC can/can't go with you.

Were the tutters getting changed in the style of Mr Bean?

Agree with @uktrippin that the tutting was probably not aimed at you! I would tut at my kids for staring at another woman getting changed, for example, or for any or all of the various bits of bad behaviour displayed while changing (which may include but are not limited to whacking each other round the head, flicking each other with wet costumes, dropping their dry pants in a puddle on the floor...)

@Rosewaterblossom

Funny thing is when you hear others saying fanjo in rl, you know they are on mn 😁

Not necessarily. We used fanjo at school, pre the existence of Mumsnet.

I'd assume as it's a family swim time the family room was already full so parents were squashed in to female change which is altogether less convenient with dc, probably irritated, cold and damp, trying to sort out slippery and wriggly dc, tutting in general and with a tendency to over react to normal situations. (Or is that just me post family swimming)

Try going to the changing room and bumping into a boy that you teach .... in year 4! Nightmare

Lol. We had a gym at work Pre covid most people would change quickly and as discreetly as possible as these were colleagues.

However there was one lady who would sit naked for ages leg akimbo. I've literally seen everything that women has. It was so weird as later all would
Be in a meeting together

I don’t feel awkward about DD seeing women naked in communal changing rooms but I will have to try to smother endless questions about “why does that lady not have hair on her bum like yours” or “look that lady has big boobies too.” (Am attempting to teach her that we don’t have to comment on people’s appearance but it’s taking a long time to sink in.)

I’d probably go into a cubicle if it was family time. I remember being a bit staring and taken aback seeing a lady having a Nude shower on a secondary school swimming baths trip, and that’s coming from a household where we were all brought up used to seeing our parents naked, and we had communal showers in the school gym.

This reminds me of the other old thread (I think it's in Classics - it should be) where the female OP decided to go into themalechanging rooms every week - not to change but to sit and chill whilst her son had his swimming lesson, as she found the main waiting area too busy and noisy - and she washorrifiedto see these 'disgusting' naked men changing in the male changing rooms

My favourite bit from that thread was when the OP said something about being faced with a 10 inch penis and another poster commented something like "ten inches you say ... can you let me have the postcode for this leisure centre ... asking for a friend ".

@honeylulu

This reminds me of the other old thread (I think it's in Classics - it should be) where the female OP decided to go into themalechanging rooms every week - not to change but to sit and chill whilst her son had his swimming lesson, as she found the main waiting area too busy and noisy - and she washorrifiedto see these 'disgusting' naked men changing in the male changing rooms

My favourite bit from that thread was when the OP said something about being faced with a 10 inch penis and another poster commented something like "ten inches you say ... can you let me have the postcode for this leisure centre ... asking for a friend ".

Can someone please link this thread 😆

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3754015-bare-bum-in-dressing-room-aibu

Enjoy!!!

@TheAwfuITruth

I've been tutted at in the past.

Honestly, it's like no one's ever seen a woman with her foot up on the bench, drying her muff with the hairdryer before...

😂😂😂😂😂😜 I'm in fits here, thank you!!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3754015-bare-bum-in-dressing-room-aibu

Enjoy!!!

At first glance assuming it was unisex rooms this isn't too weird but then she casually mentions she was in the MENS changing room hahahahhahahahaha

My DH used to be horrified in the male communal charging room when we used to take DD as there was always a man who would stand at the sinks and have a shave whilst completely starkers.

We started using the family cubicle after a few weeks.

Was the tutting to their own children reminding them not to stare and awkward because they didn't want their kids being weird?

Some of the older ladies in particular at my gym do a lot of prancing 😂 they cavort around lifting one leg to dry so you can see right up their fanjo

Thanks @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll and @rishisboater . That's my evening entertainment sorted 😆

@Rosewaterblossom

As in stripping off and changing as opposed to doing the awkward putting underwear on with a towel wrapped around you

I do that I'm afraid, far too prudish to let it all hang out

And I'd definitely not let it all hang out in front of kids. They don't need to see middle aged boobs.

@Itstheprinciple

My DH used to be horrified in the male communal charging room when we used to take DD as there was always a man who would stand at the sinks and have a shave whilst completely starkers.

We started using the family cubicle after a few weeks.

Why on earth did you not use the family cubicle from the beginning?! Totally unreasonable of your husband to expect the men to modify their behaviour in a male changing room in case a female child was brought in!

And I'd definitely not let it all hang out in front of kids. They don't need to see middle aged boobs.

And we wonder why young people grow up these days with unrealistic expectations of body image. What other realities do you shield your children from?