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Original poster

Is it the norm for mums to look mortified when women change in the female changing room?

200 replies

Rosewaterblossom · 20/07/2021 18:00

I joined a fitness club this month and have using the gym. The club has a pool/sauna etc, the usual stuff, gym and classes. There are male, female and family changing facilities which you use whatever activity. The club does family swim times.

Today I went to the gym and had a shower/got changed after work when the family swim time was on. I was in the female changing room and a few women were getting changed naked etc, not prancing around showing off, I just mean boobs/fanjo out when changing.

I noticed a few of the mums looking mortified and getting their children to look the other way and even heard one "tut". Is this normal? I don't mean they should let their kids stand and stare which would be weird, but the mums looked very uncomfortable to the point it appeared the women getting changed in the nude was wrong.

Is this the normal?

Thanks.

OP posts:
borntobequiet · 20/07/2021 18:18

Well I don’t like being gawped at when getting changed so don’t mind if kids are told not to do it. But what I do mind is the endless snacks, sweets and drinks given to them to keep them quiet, which results in litter, sticky spills, complaints and sometimes fights. Just tell them to sit quietly and behave until everyone’s ready.

Original poster
Rosewaterblossom · 20/07/2021 18:20

"What do you mean
“Is this normal?”"

I mean getting changed in a female changing room and have mums with their kids looking mortified if them or their children see a little boob/fanjo...

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 20/07/2021 18:21

To be fair it can be a bit of a nightmare in changing rooms with kids:-

“Mummy - that lady has a hairy bottom!”
“Mummy - that lady has enormous boobies”
“Mummy - why does that lady have writing on her back? Oh. Can I have a tattoo? Oh. When can I have a tattoo? Why don’t you have a tattoo?”

I solved the problem - I decided that dh could be the swimming parent instead!

RandomMess · 20/07/2021 18:21

I thought it was grim when a lady had her foot up on the row of handbasin a applying her body lotion starkers, so I got an eyeful of everything as soon as I walked in as she was opposite the entrance.

No issue with general nudity but I did want to bleach my eyeballs after that for some reason.

Geamhradh · 20/07/2021 18:22

Doesn't it! @RoseRedRoseBlue

There's been many a thread on the matter and they never end well- being polarised between mums of boys who won't send their children alone into the male changing rooms in case Herbert the Pervert is in there, and mums of girls who think their daughters should be able to get changed without boys nearing puberty gawping.

NT- I'd say the cut off should be no more than 8.

Original poster
Rosewaterblossom · 20/07/2021 18:23

Mumoftwoinprimary that's why I used to use the family changing area when mine were younger doing swim lessons/family swim time 😁

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/07/2021 18:24

I'm getting the impression I'm going to come across a prancer aren't I! 😅 Then I'll be back saying why do women need to do 15 laps of the changing room naked!

I can't believe you forgot the pan pipes Grin

This reminds me of the other old thread (I think it's in Classics - it should be) where the female OP decided to go into the male changing rooms every week - not to change but to sit and chill whilst her son had his swimming lesson, as she found the main waiting area too busy and noisy - and she was horrified to see these 'disgusting' naked men changing in the male changing rooms Grin

cabingirl · 20/07/2021 18:25

When my DD was a toddler I always tried to distract her from the women changing because I was scared she was going to say something rude out loud like "why do you have such a large tummy" etc. As soon as she was old enough to learn a bit of discretion it didn't bother me!

Not sure about the tutter, but the other Mums might mortified about their staring kids rather than the nudity.

IndanthroneBlue · 20/07/2021 18:25

It's normal where we swim. Are you sure they weren't tutting at their own kids rather than the women? My kids are embarrassingly obsessed with nudity, DD is 4 thinks its hilarious so I would have tutted at my kids and would tell them to look away stop looking/giggling but maybe I'm just imagining my own awkward scenario.

DisposableNamechange · 20/07/2021 18:26

I’d tell my DC to stop staring because they’d be staring, not because you’re doing anything wrong.

And our club has a cut off of 7 for boys, which in reality just means I can’t take my 8yo on my own, because I couldn’t let him go in the men’s on his own.

(Not because of paedo on every corner, but because he’d just never get as far as the pool.)

cabingirl · 20/07/2021 18:26

@Mumoftwoinprimary

To be fair it can be a bit of a nightmare in changing rooms with kids:-

“Mummy - that lady has a hairy bottom!”
“Mummy - that lady has enormous boobies”
“Mummy - why does that lady have writing on her back? Oh. Can I have a tattoo? Oh. When can I have a tattoo? Why don’t you have a tattoo?”

I solved the problem - I decided that dh could be the swimming parent instead!

Cross posted!

This was my experience too!

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 20/07/2021 18:27

@TheAwfuITruth

I've been tutted at in the past.

Honestly, it's like no one's ever seen a woman with her foot up on the bench, drying her muff with the hairdryer before...

😂😂 are you a member at my gym?

Seriously though, is it 1920? You kinda can't get changed without getting naked for a little while.

ThreeKneeRepeater · 20/07/2021 18:28

I’ve been a member of a gym with a communal female changing room for many, many years.
I have never, ever seen anyone ‘prancing’.
Why is that adjective always applied to naked women in a changing room? It’s what Santa’s reindeer do.
(I’ve also never seen any mortified mums).

Original poster
Rosewaterblossom · 20/07/2021 18:29

Do people seriously blow-dry their fanjos? 😳😄

OP posts:
Megasausagehead · 20/07/2021 18:29

She should have used the mixed area if fanjos are a problem. Penises I understand being shocked to see in a women's changing room, but not fanjos.

cookiecreampie · 20/07/2021 18:32

I've not came across a communal changing room in years, I think most people prefer privacy. I don't think it's a huge deal, but I think most would make the effort to cover up around other people. There's no need to be standing there stark naked.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 20/07/2021 18:32

@Rosewaterblossom

Do people seriously blow-dry their fanjos? 😳😄
Haven't seen any fanjo blow drying but one lady at my gym did decide to blow dry her hair (head hair) wearing just a g string. Not even a bra. Tits flapping and everything. I mean, why??
CarnationCat · 20/07/2021 18:32

I remember seeing women naked in the swimming changing rooms when I was a child. My friends and I were a bit mortified and found it funny.

I would never be completely naked in the changing room like that. I would use a cubicle or change discretely.

If or my children saw someone naked though, I just wouldn't look and would make sure my children aren't staring. I wouldn't be mortified anymore but wouldn't do it myself Grin

mindutopia · 20/07/2021 18:34

No, absolutely wouldn't bother me. If I had children old enough (boys) that it would be an issue, I'd use the family changing rooms or send them in the men's with dh/alone if age appropriate.

TheHumanMothboy · 20/07/2021 18:35

I like to blow dry my hair when I'm naked- so my clothes don't get dripped on (my hair is v long)...but I'd never do it in a public changing room! At home only.

I'm sorry, but you have to expect nudity in a changing room, that's what they're for.

TheTempest · 20/07/2021 18:37

There’s naked ladies galore in my local swimming pool ladies change. No one bats an eyelid as they shower/wander get changed naked. I probably get more attention for hiding Grin so YANBU.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 20/07/2021 18:38

@CarnationCat your comments are interesting, as I have no issue with stripping off in a changing room, especially if I have just got out of the pool. I gave up all the towel wrangling years ago!

SirenSays · 20/07/2021 18:41

Haven't seen any fanjo blow drying but one lady at my gym did decide to blow dry her hair (head hair) wearing just a g string. Not even a bra. Tits flapping and everything. I mean, why??

Because its hot as hell! My underboob sweat would flood the changing room if I left my bra on while I blow dried my hair.

JoborPlay · 20/07/2021 18:43

Personally I'd have taken my kids to a cubical, for fear of "mummy, why has that lady not got lots of hair but you have?" type comments that pre-schoolers come up with.

Bit no, yanbu to get changed in a changing room.

I personally loathe communal changing areas so wouldn't not be a member of your health club!

Upwherethebirdsfly · 20/07/2021 18:43

@RoseRedRoseBlue anyone over 7 for me - a boy somewhere between 8-10 was in the changing room with his sister a few weeks ago and it was uncomfortable (I was getting ‘fully’ changed as was my 3 year old DD).