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Original poster

Is it the norm for mums to look mortified when women change in the female changing room?

200 replies

Rosewaterblossom · 20/07/2021 18:00

I joined a fitness club this month and have using the gym. The club has a pool/sauna etc, the usual stuff, gym and classes. There are male, female and family changing facilities which you use whatever activity. The club does family swim times.

Today I went to the gym and had a shower/got changed after work when the family swim time was on. I was in the female changing room and a few women were getting changed naked etc, not prancing around showing off, I just mean boobs/fanjo out when changing.

I noticed a few of the mums looking mortified and getting their children to look the other way and even heard one "tut". Is this normal? I don't mean they should let their kids stand and stare which would be weird, but the mums looked very uncomfortable to the point it appeared the women getting changed in the nude was wrong.

Is this the normal?

Thanks.

OP posts:
newnortherner111 · 22/07/2021 12:08

I wonder what those who are horrified at the sight of normal human bodies would feel in a German sauna?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/07/2021 12:10

And we wonder why young people grow up these days with unrealistic expectations of body image. What other realities do you shield your children from?

I agree. You wouldn't (presumably) shield your children from ever having to see anybody over 35 in other areas of their lives.

It's not shameful to be whatever age you are. Those children will themselves eventually be middle-aged - and elderly - with a body to match.

MsTSwift · 22/07/2021 12:12

My chatty then 4 year niece asked a lady in the post office queue if “she had a baby in there”. She replied no darling I’m just fat and old 😁

Just10moreminutesplease · 22/07/2021 12:24

I’m so glad my local pool has a changing village instead of communal areas (didn’t realise these were still a thing!).

There’s no way I’d send my son into a changing room alone. There’s also no way I’d want my hypothetical future daughter to have boys watching her change.... it’s a no win situation.

DirtyDancing · 22/07/2021 12:30

I am a bit more of a modest changer tbh. Towel around me till my pants are on. Don't care if others want to show their muff (always interesting to see the various female grooming techniques on offer) I get a bit Confusedwhen they bend over to dry their feet knickerless, not that there is anything wrong with it, I'm just a bit of a prude

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/07/2021 12:33

I was getting changed and a boy of about 8-9 wandered into the entrance of the adults only section and was staring at the 2-3 women getting changed. His Mum eventually realised and sent him to wait outside. What do people think the age cut off should be for having male children in changing rooms?

6

lap90 · 22/07/2021 12:48

Assuming you read their reaction correctly, why don't they just go to the family changing room?

This is why i head to the adults changing area and preferably a private cubicle if I can.

Although kids stare and they could very well have been tutting at their kids and telling them to look the other way as they know how it is.

PavlovsDoggie · 22/07/2021 14:18

OP, I don't know if it is "normal", but I can imagine it happens from time to time.

It's interesting that an earlier poster mentioned the German example. We've had two German live in au pair experiences (summer times, language exchange and general help) and they certainly had no inhibitions with respect to changing rooms, beach, etc. A different attitude to what I'd grown up with. Also, there were young and beautiful, but it was not showing off, just their "normal".

Livpool · 22/07/2021 15:05

This wouldn't bother me. DS is 5 and has seen women naked in communal changing rooms and has never paid any attention. He has seen me naked so 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Although we went swimming just before lockdown #1 and a little girl was staring at DS and I heard her ask her mum why he had a tail in the front! 😂

birdling · 22/07/2021 15:06

I have no problem either getting changed nude in the changing rooms or my children being around people getting changed.
I would, however, worry about what my children might suddenly say Grin

Bitofachinwag · 22/07/2021 16:13

@Livpool

This wouldn't bother me. DS is 5 and has seen women naked in communal changing rooms and has never paid any attention. He has seen me naked so 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Although we went swimming just before lockdown #1 and a little girl was staring at DS and I heard her ask her mum why he had a tail in the front! 😂

Interesting. So she knew that he was a boy, but not because of the "tail"?
ShaunaTheSheep · 22/07/2021 16:21

Sorry if it's been said but if you say cannot you should also says norks, not boobs #beenheretoolong

ShaunaTheSheep · 22/07/2021 16:22

FFS if you say fanjo, not cannot

bowchickawowwoww · 22/07/2021 16:23

@TheAwfuITruth

I've been tutted at in the past.

Honestly, it's like no one's ever seen a woman with her foot up on the bench, drying her muff with the hairdryer before...

😂😂🤣
Deathsquito · 22/07/2021 16:27

Hmmm this seems strange.

I’ve been in many a female communal changing room, both as a child and as a mother with dc, and I’ve never seen any reaction like this at all?

Most are just getting themselves sorted, no one has ever started or gotten their dc to avert their eyes (from what?).

The ONLY time that I have seen this is when there was a trans woman in the changing room, and I did get dc to ‘avert their eyes’ as I got them out of there as fast as possible. Mainly as this moustached person was quite clearly genitally intact and seemingly very excited to be wandering around the changing room naked, well, except for the black peephole lacy bra.

(Luckily this was quite a few years ago so we were able to complain and have that person removed. Probably couldn’t these days).

WouldBeGood · 22/07/2021 16:27

I went on holiday to France and stayed near Fanjeaux - made me giggle every time

HarebrightCedarmoon · 22/07/2021 16:33

@grasstreeleaf

If anyone is interested, how to get changed without showing much. If you've a space on a bench it's easy enough. Towel round the shoulder & covering your front to slip down costume straps, dry and get into bra. Sit down on towel and fold other end over your lap like a skirt to take off bottom of costume, dry and put knickers on.
Sod that. It's a women's changing room, I'm not wrestling to put a bra on my E cups under a towel like I'm on a public beach. I get dry properly and put my underwear on pretty quickly but there is certainly brief nudity.
Peterbear · 22/07/2021 16:43

You carry on OP. Ignore the tutters- it's the women's changing room ffs!
It's surely healthy for kids to see normal female bodies (I.e. all shapes and sizes) in a world full of porn , body shaming and eating disorders.

Itstheprinciple · 22/07/2021 21:33

HaveringWavering sorry I didn't explain myself well. DD was with me in the ladies and was only a toddler. DH was horrified by naked shaving for himself, not for DD! He just didn't see why you wouldn't wrap a towel around yourself or put your underwear on before you stood there having a shave.

Itstheprinciple · 22/07/2021 21:34

Fair enough to show things in the course of getting changed but not necessary to prolong the nakedness!

Livpool · 22/07/2021 21:46

@Bitofachinwag it was a while ago so I am not sure if she said "he".
I just assumed she hadn't seen a naked male before and smiled at the mum before getting DS dressed quickly

igelkott2021 · 23/07/2021 15:52

@newnortherner111

I wonder what those who are horrified at the sight of normal human bodies would feel in a German sauna?
I've been to plenty of saunas in Germany and more to the point in Finland, I just try to sling a towel over myself so it sort of covers things up.

One of my favourite places is the Claudiustherma spa in Cologne - but you can wear your swimsuit in most parts of it, nakedness isn't compulsory - only in one section.

My local pool used to have communal changing rooms with a few cubicles. I used to go into a cubicle but all the other women stood around chatting while in various states of undress. We have a changing village now which I find better but they said they didn't like as they couldn't have their chats anymore!

igelkott2021 · 23/07/2021 15:56

And we wonder why young people grow up these days with unrealistic expectations of body image. What other realities do you shield your children from

?

Polkadots2021 · 23/07/2021 16:40

@Rosewaterblossom

As in stripping off and changing as opposed to doing the awkward putting underwear on with a towel wrapped around you
OP it's normal to strip off when you get changed, it's the most normal thing in the world. The best thing about working in a gym / with fitness types is that people tend to not have many hang ups about their body.

But you're right, people are weird about it - they have so many hang ups. There seems to be a lot of social rules that weirdly pop up around stuff like this, but I ignore them all.

Soubriquet · 23/07/2021 16:42

See I’m the opposite now. Before kids, I would hunching under my towel desperately trying to change without any skin showing.

Now, I just change. It’s much easier and if my kids see a boob oh well, they will get over it

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