Is it the norm for mums to look mortified when women change in the female changing room?

[Rosewaterblossom]

I joined a fitness club this month and have using the gym. The club has a pool/sauna etc, the usual stuff, gym and classes. There are male, female and family changing facilities which you use whatever activity. The club does family swim times.

Today I went to the gym and had a shower/got changed after work when the family swim time was on. I was in the female changing room and a few women were getting changed naked etc, not prancing around showing off, I just mean boobs/fanjo out when changing.

I noticed a few of the mums looking mortified and getting their children to look the other way and even heard one "tut". Is this normal? I don't mean they should let their kids stand and stare which would be weird, but the mums looked very uncomfortable to the point it appeared the women getting changed in the nude was wrong.

Is this the normal?

Thanks.

[quote Deathsquito]@StillWeRise doesn’t bother me if you don’t believe it, it was a well known incident in our little corner of the land for quite some time.

Men with a fetish aren’t exactly rare.[/quote]
you misunderstand me
I can well believe it happened. But I don't believe he 'thought no one was in the changing room'. Why would he think that? If I didn't want people to see me in my underwear, I wouldn't be walking round in it in a publicly accessible space.

@FreeBritnee

I just think it’s unnecessary. You don’t need to place your privates in the eye line of a complete stranger. I don’t want to see it. Just wrap a towel round.

The complete stranger can look elsewhere then! I doubt many women purposefully "place their privates" right in front of your eyes.

Anyway, the amount of naked body that it is deemed acceptable to expose varies in different places and time. What is less acceptable to you: a woman on a public beach wearing bikini bottoms that are just actually a bit of string between the buttocks and a tiny triangle at the front or a woman in a female changing room changing?

My local pool only has communal changing. Its a bit of an arse (excuse the pun) trying to dry without exposing but I am conscious of there being kids around so I make the effort.

Tutting, at anyone really, is irritating though.

I would have thought older people (my age and older), might find it embarrassing; I've heard a lot say they don't like communal changing areas. However for most of us it isn't a problem. We do it quickly and as discreetly as possible. Small kids don't take any notice, presumably older children don't go into the family changing rooms.

If someone isn't comfortable about it they can go straight home and shower there, not a big deal.

Ah @StillWeRise I apologise. I think it was a different poster who said someone didn’t know she was in the changing room.

In our case he appeared to be excited by the fact that the changing room was full of people. He had clearly come to indulge his fetish, and didn’t care that the women and children there didn’t want to be involved.

The complete stranger can look elsewhere then! I doubt many women purposefully "place their privates" right in front of your eyes.

The exact argument made by those who think men’s genitalia in women’s changing rooms is the fault of those who see it. Not those who own it.

I don't think my grandmas would have liked communal changing areas, they used to wear so much upholstery - vests and corsets and the like, with suspenders having off. At least I think so, I only ever saw them hanging on the line (the garments, not the grandmothers).

Our hairdryers have little signs specifically saying that they are for head hair only, so I presume it's been a problem in the past!

in my gym, totally normal.

In gyms other places I've lived, nudity was unusual. TBH I think it was more if there were cubicles or not - when it was majority communal changing, nudity was standard, when cubicles were available, adults/teens tended to change in them away from the children

The exact argument made by those who think men’s genitalia in women’s changing rooms is the fault of those who see it. Not those who own it.

This is women, with female genitalia in a ladies changing room. Not really comparable. I have never seen anyone do as people describe with genitals near faces etc but may people do get changed without hiding under towels. I am usually changing with small children and don't have the time to be worrying, so I'm quick but there'll be times I'm naked.

There's a lot of talk about female safe spaces but in a ladies changing room which is an area people are desperately trying to keep female only it seems ridiculous that ladies are judged for showing their own body. Can't bloody win can you?

I mean, the mum must know that in a female changing room, females will be changing! I think it's quite a positive thing for a child to be exposed to normal female bodies actually. Getting changed isn't sexual, and our bodies are fat too often sexualised. I think this helps to normalise our bodies just being bodies if that makes sense.

I don’t prance about in changing room naked.
I don’t look at the other people in the changing room either.

So I adopt a middle line. Not covering myself like a nun in a changing room, but not walking around as I would in my own home

Exactly. Common sense, really.

The exact argument made by those who think men’s genitalia in women’s changing rooms is the fault of those who see it. Not those who own it.

There's quite a difference between women, in a single-sex women's space, changing & being briefly naked, or semi-naked, and a man/male-bodied person being in a women's single-sex space. For a start, the threat of sexual harassment, violence and assault is always hanging over that sort of situation. And that's before we get to the fetish aspect of it - voyeurism, flashing, arousal etc etc etc. Although, many people working with male-bodied sexual offenders comment that the criminal behaviour often starts with "low-level" voyeurism and flashing, and groping etc.

We have single-sex spaces for women precisely to protect them from male behaviour.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll oh my good god! That thread is BONKERS. Objecting to naked men in the male changing room

@RoseRedRoseBlue

I had a similar but different (!) experience yesterday at a branch of a well known gym chain. I was getting changed and a boy of about 8-9 wandered into the entrance of the adults only section and was staring at the 2-3 women getting changed. His Mum eventually realised and sent him to wait outside. What do people think the age cut off should be for having male children in changing rooms?

I reckon 7 is a reasonable cut off . Most boys would be ok younger but it’s more other people in the men’s changing room that’d concern me. My middle child has been going to the men’s since he was six but he went with his older brother and there’s safety in numbers.

I’m talking about women wandering around naked, bending over with one foot on the bench liberally applying body cream to their legs without knickers with their vulva pretty close to my horrified face so I move away. Didn’t happen ALL the time but certainly happened more than once.

If I wanted an intimate relationship with another woman’s genitalia if seek out a same sex relationship. I don’t want to see it in the same way I didn’t want to stumble across a man giving oral sex to a woman when I was walking along a footpath. In the position they were in I also got a clear image that’s burnt itself into my head and stayed there for twenty odd years. It’s not nice. Put knickers on.

Well, I clearly wasn't talking about men.

applying body cream to their legs

is not the same as

stumble across a man giving oral sex to a woman when I was walking

FFS!

This thread is completely cuckoo.

FreeBritnee Sun 25-Jul-21 14:09:54
I’m talking about women wandering around naked, bending over with one foot on the bench liberally applying body cream to their legs without knickers with their vulva pretty close to my horrified face so I move away. Didn’t happen ALL the time but certainly happened more than once.
.......
Blimey. I can't imagine doing that. I'd have thought a quick rub down and then dress quickly. Any other titivating can be done at home.

@Maggiesfarm

FreeBritnee Sun 25-Jul-21 14:09:54 I’m talking about women wandering around naked, bending over with one foot on the bench liberally applying body cream to their legs without knickers with their vulva pretty close to my horrified face so I move away. Didn’t happen ALL the time but certainly happened more than once. ....... Blimey. I can't imagine doing that. I'd have thought a quick rub down and then dress quickly. Any other titivating can be done at home.

You’d think so wouldn’t you.

@ShortBacknSides

applying body cream to their legs

is not the same as

stumble across a man giving oral sex to a woman when I was walking

FFS!

Not the same but still a fucking clear view of something I’d rather wasn’t seared into my eyelids. No thank you.

www.blanco.com/gb-en/mixer-taps/culina-f/

I think there are two different sizes and we got the smaller one.

@TheAwfuITruth

I've been tutted at in the past.

Honestly, it's like no one's ever seen a woman with her foot up on the bench, drying her muff with the hairdryer before...

😂🤣😂

I like the way I managed to link to my kitchen tap in this thread. It could be handy for rinsing my eyeballs 👀