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Original poster

My best friend changed the hen party plans and uninvited me.

231 replies

katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:09

My best friend is getting married and I’m bridesmaid.

A few days before the hen party is to happen she has changed the plans without telling me. She has changed the location and times. The time moved from the evening to afternoon. She changed the times as she found a location she prefers better etc

I work 9-5 and cannot change my working day, so I told her that I can join them after work but she said it will be too late and they will all want to go home as they would have been out all day so it’s fine if I don’t come anymore.

I’m very upset. I feel quite hurt that she has changed the plans and “uninvited me”.

Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 18/07/2021 23:10

Not at all! How hurtful

endofthelinefinally · 18/07/2021 23:12

That is awful behaviour. You have every right to be hurt and upset.

TLKlover · 18/07/2021 23:12

Not much of a best friend tbh.

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Weddings
Notaroadrunner · 18/07/2021 23:13

No and I'd tell her to shove her wedding up her arse!

Dontdripme · 18/07/2021 23:14

Wow! Why do you think she has done this?

Original poster
katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:15

It’s so bizarre. And she has given me a big list of things to do on the morning of the wedding, yet I’m not even going to the hen.

I feel numb. I don’t want to ruin her wedding day but at the same time I don’t feel like going anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:17

@Dontdripme she has found somewhere else that she prefers but it meant changing everything. A lot of the other girls can still go as they don’t work, or have job which allow them to.

OP posts:
WeeM · 18/07/2021 23:18

Horrible behaviour! How did you find out it had been changed- Was it changed a while ago and you’ve only just found out?

Justforphoto · 18/07/2021 23:19

has she totally changed the nature of the hen do?

ShowMeTheSugar · 18/07/2021 23:21

Was this a hen that you had booked and planned? Normal the bridesmaid(s) organise the hen so its even odder that she has changed the time and location

Original poster
katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:31

@WeeM @Justforphoto I found out a few days ago and the hen is next week

@ShowMeTheSugar the bride was told of the hen plans due to covid etc so she was told of the dates, location etc

Kept the surprises through the day from her

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 23:33

@katiie3

It’s so bizarre. And she has given me a big list of things to do on the morning of the wedding, yet I’m not even going to the hen.

I feel numb. I don’t want to ruin her wedding day but at the same time I don’t feel like going anymore.

Don't be a doormat and stand down. Personally I wouldn't even go as a guest if it was me.
savagebaggagemaster · 18/07/2021 23:34

She's not your best friend. Sorry op Sad

MotionActivatedDog · 18/07/2021 23:36

she said it will be too late and they will all want to go home as they would have been out all day

Sounds like a shit hen do- I’d say you aren’t missing much.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 23:39

What on earth are they doing that they'll be knackered by 6pm and toddling home for their Horlicks?!

Original poster
katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:41

If I was getting married, I would want my best friend to just be there and get there whenever she could. The fact that I’m working all day, then getting ready and making the effort to go join them, feels like a slap in the face.

OP posts:
CraftyYankee · 18/07/2021 23:42

Either you can message her and ask if you have done something to annoy her that she doesn't want you to attend the hen. Or you can just accept it. But either way the friendship seems over, and stepping down is probably the best way to move on. Why put all that work in for someone who clearly doesn't value you?

drpet49 · 18/07/2021 23:43

* she said it will be too late and they will all want to go home as they would have been out all day*

^Nope, I don’t buy this. She blatantly doesn’t want you to come at all. I guarantee they will still be out into the evening. Sorry OP, but I think your friend deliberately moved the timings as she knew you couldn’t make it.

Anniissa · 18/07/2021 23:43

I’d be sure to find things that meant I was unavailable for all the stuff she wanted early morning fir her wedding. Convenience works both ways!

Notajogger · 18/07/2021 23:46

Awful. No way would a friend do this, let alone a best friend. I couldn't be a bridesmaid after that and the list she gave you is just an extra slap in the face!

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/07/2021 23:47

Well sod the big long list of crap she’s expecting you to do for her on her wedding day. Her wedding, she can do it or rope one of the other BMs into taking over.

She’s horrible OP. I’d resign.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/07/2021 23:48

Nah... this wouldn't work for me and I would be "quitting" the wedding. There is just no way I would tolerate such blatant disrespect. This is how she treats a friend? A friend who's a bridesmaid in her bloody wedding?? Unbelievable.

Nope. That just isn't acceptable.

PickAChew · 18/07/2021 23:48

Clearly she is your best friend but you are not hers. Sorry. You wouldn't be unreasonable to tell her where to shove her list of instructions.

Nuggetnugget · 18/07/2021 23:51

So strange. No way would I do all the drudgery on the day when she's treated you so badly. You could get 'pinged' the day before the wedding Wink
No suggesting it but you know.. It happens

Mummy7777 · 18/07/2021 23:52

Wow. Lost for words.