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Original poster

My best friend changed the hen party plans and uninvited me.

231 replies

katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:09

My best friend is getting married and I’m bridesmaid.

A few days before the hen party is to happen she has changed the plans without telling me. She has changed the location and times. The time moved from the evening to afternoon. She changed the times as she found a location she prefers better etc

I work 9-5 and cannot change my working day, so I told her that I can join them after work but she said it will be too late and they will all want to go home as they would have been out all day so it’s fine if I don’t come anymore.

I’m very upset. I feel quite hurt that she has changed the plans and “uninvited me”.

Am I over reacting?

OP posts:

ACPC · 18/07/2021 23:54

Something has happened to make her do this op, have you had even a small disagreement? She owes you an explanation, a real friend would be honest and give you a chance to fix things. Assuming you have upset her. You might have done nothing and she's just horrible.

Original poster

katiie3 · 18/07/2021 23:54

So she has changed the hen party into a day time thing, so it’s a lunch spa etc. And then a few drink. She isn’t going out into town afterwards due to the risk of catching covid before the wedding etc

I did say I could meet her back at hers in the evening but she wasn’t keen on the idea. But the list and errands for the wedding are still waiting for me.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 18/07/2021 23:56

I did say I could meet her back at hers in the evening but she wasn’t keen on the idea. But the list and errands for the wedding are still waiting for me.

Don't be a mug, op. Every line of decency and consideration, she's stomped all over them.

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Weddings

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 23:57

But the list and errands for the wedding are still waiting for me.
You didn't say anything?

CraftyYankee · 18/07/2021 23:57

Doesn't seem like the behavior of a friend. Are you going to do something about it?

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/07/2021 23:58

But the list and errands for the wedding are still waiting for me.

Oh fuck that. You’re meant to be her friend not her bloody skivvy.

Tell her you’re changing plans to suit yourself, as she has, and will no longer be available to do her bidding on the day.

MahMahMahMahCorona · 18/07/2021 23:59

[quote katiie3]**@WeeM* @Justforphoto* I found out a few days ago and the hen is next week

@ShowMeTheSugar the bride was told of the hen plans due to covid etc so she was told of the dates, location etc

Kept the surprises through the day from her[/quote]
When you say you kept the surprises through the day from her but then say you organised an evening hen party, has she also changed the day? I don't understand- sorry.

Shitty behaviour whatever the plans were.

gardeninggirl68 · 19/07/2021 00:01

Return the list to her

Gooseysgirl · 19/07/2021 00:01

I would s

ACPC · 19/07/2021 00:02

Ah I think she's a spoiled brat who doesn't like your hen plans so made her own and excluded you. Bin her op. Too much drama!

gardeninggirl68 · 19/07/2021 00:02

Sorry meant to add... return the list to her with a confused look on your face

She cannot expect you to be there and do all that after snubbing you that way.....call her on it

Original poster

katiie3 · 19/07/2021 00:02

@MahMahMahMahCorona small surprises like a home made video of her growing up, and recorded messages from family and friends that couldn’t attend etc

OP posts:

Gooseysgirl · 19/07/2021 00:03

I would suddenly be finding myself with other important things to do on the morning if the wedding - Fuck that for a lark. She is not your best friend. In a million years I would not treat a close friend this way.

ReginaaPhalange · 19/07/2021 00:08

I agree with the suggestion of being pinged the night before the wedding!

Have you two had a monorail disagreement lately to cause this? If not, she's not your best friend OP. Friends don't act like this...

ACPC · 19/07/2021 00:09

You're going to have to self isolate the week of the wedding or come down with a bug, then just keep her at arms length and find a new friend

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 19/07/2021 00:13

time to stop calling her your best friend.

at this point she's not even your friend anc if I were you I'd not bother going to her wedding. I think you two are done.
sorry she treated you so abysmally.

Original poster

katiie3 · 19/07/2021 00:13

@ReginaaPhalange no, nothing. She is talking to me as normal. Telling me all about the wedding, showing me all the pics and updates.

She wants me on the wedding day and given me an itinerary for where I need to be and when for the day etc

She changed the hen plans to suit herself and she is fine with me and whoever else can’t be there as long as she gets the hen party she wanted.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 19/07/2021 00:15

[quote katiie3]@ReginaaPhalange no, nothing. She is talking to me as normal. Telling me all about the wedding, showing me all the pics and updates.

She wants me on the wedding day and given me an itinerary for where I need to be and when for the day etc

She changed the hen plans to suit herself and she is fine with me and whoever else can’t be there as long as she gets the hen party she wanted.[/quote]
Have you really not told her how you feel and how absolutely horrid she has been? You really need to say something.

Spartak · 19/07/2021 00:16

Is there any chance she could have just found out she's pregnant, so it changing the type of hen do, so she can avoid drinking?

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/07/2021 00:18

You think she'd rather lose a friend than confide that she's in the early stages of pregnancy?

Original poster

katiie3 · 19/07/2021 00:19

@Spartak She is actively drinking so she can’t be pregnant etc

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 19/07/2021 00:20

I think thats really mean. Resign from bridesmaid duties.

Justforphoto · 19/07/2021 00:21

She changed the hen plans to suit herself and she is fine with me and whoever else can’t be there as long as she gets the hen party she wanted.

it is her hen do, it does sound like you booked something that she just didn't want. I can understand her reluctance to going out of an evening and risking being told to isolate due to it.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 19/07/2021 00:24

You don’t seem to be as angry as we all are on your behalf!! How fucking dare she?

I mean fine, Move the hen do if she’s realised that a night out in town is risky.

But the fact that she won’t extend it so that you can at least attend for a while at the end or come round her house afterwards is just shitty behaviour.

And the fact that she doesn’t care that you can’t come and still wants you to be her wedding day dogsbody is supremely self involved.

I’d at least be too busy on the morning of the wedding to do whatever jobs she wants you to.

But I’d be so pissed off that I’d be avoiding the wedding too. Selfish cow.

Original poster

katiie3 · 19/07/2021 00:24

@Justforphoto I understand. But if she wasn’t happy, we could have changed it to anything she liked. She didn’t say anything for weeks and changed it last minute.

Of course it’s her wedding and she should be happy. Just feels weird that I won’t be there anymore.

OP posts:

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